Yeah I've been drinking. I took some ambien. I'll even admit that tonight I shot off 9400 in the pits which is a vice I had long given up. Yeah I guess I'm self loathing. Not that I want pity but yeah a lot of this is my fault. After what I went through last year I should have asked more questions, fucking keep hammering away until I got answers. If I would have, I would have seen the signs earlier. I'm a smart guy. I realize if I hadn't been so god damn naive, trusting and passive this would have been avoided.

I am still nauseas after 2 days since it became apparent to me there is strong evidence pointing that this bastard stole that money. I stayed up for 65 + hours straight. My dad donated to this. My Gf patents and her boss. My friends bought me food. My body took about 2 weeks to recover. I did this not even knowing much about the charity but it was my way in my head of atoning for a lot of bad things I had done throughout my life. Hurting people. Not caring. Being cruel. Indifferent.

This made me feel good. So proud and that fat cocksucker took that from me.

What's worse I'll be the first to admit it. I considered him a fucking friend. I'm not going to sit here and downplay it or distance what it was because of this. I trusted him. I cared about him. We spent hours and hours on the phone talking. I spoke to his daughter. I thought he loved that girl more than anything in the world and wanted only to be the best dad he could be to her.

People want real emotion and feeling? Not all this fake tough guy everyone of us acts so strong as nothing around us affects us? Well this has affected me. I was proud of VPR. I didn't care that it was what you all thought but most never said to me out of respect- a fail
Site. I didn't care. I love china. He has been my real life friend for many years. I loved doing radio with sep and Kevin.

I was proud I was doing something for the first time in radio that I truly felt a part of. Something that I helped create. I didn't care how small an audience we had. The people that came, came every week. They were loyal. They were amazing. Our chat was 3 hours of just insane ridiculous laughter.

This is no shot at Druff. Shit it shows what kind of person he is to have forgave me after I defended Micon so blindly. You all don't know how cruel, how insane I went off at Druff and treated him. Yet I'm here.

And it's not for the radio. He is my friend. They're many that questioned this. He is my friend. When he knows I've been down he will try to talk with me. If he hasn't heard from me in a reasonable amount of time he'll text me expressing concern. That's a friend. He is eccentric. He is different than all of us and that's never going to change but he has been a good friend to me.

Jasep you fucking got be all kinds of riled up and in a very bad place right now. I'm going to pursue you until you make this right. If not, Im going to be coming for you. I don't care about the money you stole from me. You took away something I felt great pride in. I no longer felt like the second or 3rd wheel as I had felt since I started doing this in 2007. Make this right with these people or so help me god, im fucking coming for you man. with all i got.

battery at 2%. You all can think what you want about me but this is me, this is the true me right now as real as i can get. flame me, support me... Regardless i make no apologizes for who i am.

johnny make this fucking shit right with these good people. if not i swear on the ashes of brandi that i scattered over the pacific ocean and i haven saud her name on a forum in years and never in this context. i will be coming for you Johnny Sepuvelda