***Leaving On a Jet Plane: Lost Wages Version: The Laffer WSOP Trip Report***

[LarryLaffer]

Oh look, Dr. Pockleface and I supposedly have something in common. I was also in cross country and track in high school, and I was one of the better ones on the team. LOL at Martin running sub 5-minute miles, though. This can be filed under "banging beach bunnies in the '80s". While I am now over 220 pounds and nearly 30 years older than my cross country/track days, I'm pretty sure pickled-liver Martin would still get smoked by me if we had a race.

Notice Martin likes talking about "anecdotes" he has supposedly heard about me, yet the only athletic or semi-athletic thing I've ever done was one bowling session with poker people. I had an unusual style but bowled like a 140, which was better than like half the people there. Paled in comparison to some really good bowlers like Macon Marc, but if that's the best you've got, that's pretty pathetic.

Why won't you answer about your inability to hold two cards, or the spitting, or the fear of Hollywood Dave? Because you know these things all happened, and there were several witnesses to all of them?

Question: If you are an EXPERT at pool, why are you ignoring Larry's challenge to play him?

Also, I would love to go up against Pockles in a HR derby, or even play a team sport like soccer or volleyball and let people see which of us is decent and which of us is embarrassingly bad. No way to bet on the latter, but I would do it just for the lulz.

oh ok

so do you officially DENY that your bowling form closely resembled a mongoloid having a seizure and that Macon Marc, Epistate, Martha, Micon, and a few other of the Vegas crew didn't literally spit out their drinks watching you bowl ?

from what Brandon told me, it was one of the funniest things ever to witness, and that your physical aptitude is right along the lines of a quadriplegic having a stroke

I dunno maybe I'm mistaken.

I'm sure you were quite the athletic superstar when you weren't jerking off to fat chicks on 900 lines

C'mon Marvin, lets play pool.

[tyde]

also for those who don't remember....or the young blood post NWP newbs

a few years ago I issued a DIRECT challenge to Todd to get in the cage with me and duke it out like men

he declined (of course) with the reasoning/justification that there was no benefit to him in the long run, and that he didn't feel that my challenge was worthy of his attention

no idea what he is referring to as far as Hoser the heroin addict or the taser, although I do vaguely recall mentioning how awesome it would be to tase his Jew ass into unconsciousness and pissing on his face while he was passed out

actually come to think of it, that still sounds like fun

But anyway, the moral of the story is that Todd is about the LEAST gifted (ahem) 'athlete' in the history of sports, and yes Brandon did share the awesome story with me several years ago about how Todd was the laughing stock of the bowling alley and how ridiculously spastic and uncoordinated he was

you can suggest I'm making it up or not...I don't really care.....but distinctly remember laughing my fucking ass when Brandon shared that story with me....and how I wished I was there just to witness it

I'm sure it was epic

[LarryLaffer]

all that TL;DR out of Marvin.


still......ignoring me.


YES OR NO MARVIN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR WHORE MOUTH IS AND PLAY ME IN POOL. OFFER IS ON TABLE ANYWHERE YOU WANT. I WILL MAKE YOU MY BITCH AND THEN I'LL BE NICE AND LET YOU HAVE A $5 REBATE FOR SOME TEQUILA.

[Dan Druff]

This is why I love bottomset.

Being completely serious. Guy is in his early 50s and spending two months at sea in a physically and mentally grueling job. I just think you are dismissing the guy as some total degen drinking in Mexico. He just busted out 6 months at sea (making about $70K in that span I might add, much more than most here, not me, but many others), and has many jobs lined up second half of the year.

I'd say lass (much less) 20% on this forum made more than Tyde the last 6 months and less than 10% could do both the physical and mental portion of the job.

He is a just a degen drunk in Mexico, which is why he's back to playing micros on Stars after supposedly making all that money.

Martin's job at sea is not one which requires any kind of real skill or talent. However, it's a great job for lonely, broken down men who have no family, friends, or interests on land, so 6 months at sea is not a big deal to people like that.

Well, that's not completely accurate. There are guys who take these jobs in order to provide for their family back home. They basically sacrifice family time in order to make sure that the family is provided for, so I gotta respect that.

Then there's the Marty types, who take the jobs because they have nothing worthwhile going on land, and then take the money and either gamble it away or waste it to where it's gone within a very short period of time.

When Marty's parents die, and he presumably inherits half their money, he will be briefly in good financial shape. Within 6 months, he will be back to playing micros on Stars, and living in some shithole Mexico apartment.

He is almost 53 years old, and hasn't figured out how to live like an adult yet. Clearly he never will.

[Muck Ficon]

Martina.....did you...or did you not steal China's coke in Vegas? You going to dodge this question? You have for a long time.

[Ken Hordell]

all that TL;DR out of Marvin.


still......ignoring me.


YES OR NO MARVIN. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR WHORE MOUTH IS AND PLAY ME IN POOL. OFFER IS ON TABLE ANYWHERE YOU WANT. I WILL MAKE YOU MY BITCH AND THEN I'LL BE NICE AND LET YOU HAVE A $5 REBATE FOR SOME TEQUILA.

Would you shut the fuck up

[Dan Druff]

also for those who don't remember....or the young blood post NWP newbs

a few years ago I issued a DIRECT challenge to Todd to get in the cage with me and duke it out like men

he declined (of course) with the reasoning/justification that there was no benefit to him in the long run, and that he didn't feel that my challenge was worthy of his attention

no idea what he is referring to as far as Hoser the heroin addict or the taser, although I do vaguely recall mentioning how awesome it would be to tase his Jew ass into unconsciousness and pissing on his face while he was passed out

actually come to think of it, that still sounds like fun

But anyway, the moral of the story is that Todd is about the LEAST gifted (ahem) 'athlete' in the history of sports, and yes Brandon did share the awesome story with me several years ago about how Todd was the laughing stock of the bowling alley and how ridiculously spastic and uncoordinated he was

you can suggest I'm making it up or not...I don't really care.....but distinctly remember laughing my fucking ass when Brandon shared that story with me....and how I wished I was there just to witness it

I'm sure it was epic

Good job repeating the same shit over and over, yet still not addressing the 3 simple questions I asked you.

At least you finally admit that you were scared to actually fight me, and were planning to bring a taser along if I accepted the challenge. Typical pussy move by Posturing Projecting Pussy Pockles.

Now you know why I didn't take your "challenge" seriously.

[Dan Druff]

**** QUESTIONS FOR MARTIN CURACAO *** QUIT AVOIDING ***

1) Did you get kicked out of the Orleans blackjack game for being unable to hold two cards with one hand?

2) Did you run out of the Rio because Hollywood Dave was coming, and you were scared of him?

3) Do you spit all over people when you talk to them?

4) Did you steal cocaine from a member of NWP, and only return it when Micon threatened to ban you for it?

5) Did you get sent money by your dad to fix your teeth, and then blow half of it on Pokerstars instead of getting the dental work completely done?

[Al from Cheers]

I just want to know if Tyde is going to play Larry in pool. I enjoy a good pool match, and I bet these 2 would play it out to the end and it would be like watching Keith McCready and Earl Strickland in the late 80's. But now I'm also interested in cocaine story.

[Dupe_Fiasco]

Larry, is this true?

Baseball was one of the few sports i played before i got into skateboarding.

skateboarding took over my life.

I was a pitcher, not a short stop (funny) However, no matter how well I could throw, there's no pitcher that's my height.

Can still throw a breaking ball.

props to not posting a pic of the bat boy.

Thanks for the explanation, maybe you can expand on this?



Why does your head look several sizes to large for your body? Explain your weird T-Rex arms. Do you have a kids bike?

[LarryLaffer]

um....

I kinda can't explain any of that.

nor do I want to if i could.

Drexel made us pose like that.

[Dan Druff]

Larry doesn't look disproportionate.

He's just very short.

[LarryLaffer]

Larry doesn't look disproportionate.

He's just very short.

wait very short? compared to? You? What if i said you're just very tall and that's why I look short?


INSANE that you think my height is "very" short.

[Dan Druff]

Larry doesn't look disproportionate.

He's just very short.

wait very short? compared to? You? What if i said you're just very tall and that's why I look short?


INSANE that you think my height is "very" short.

We've established a long time ago that you're short -- even before you met anyone here.

I was defending you in stating that, other than being short, there is nothing unusual about your body.

[LarryLaffer]

wait very short? compared to? You? What if i said you're just very tall and that's why I look short?


INSANE that you think my height is "very" short.

We've established a long time ago that you're short -- even before you met anyone here.

I was defending you in stating that, other than being short, there is nothing unusual about your body.

all good points.

carry on now while we wait for marvin

[Dupe_Fiasco]

Larry were you born premature? If so how early?

[LarryLaffer]

Larry were you born premature? If so how early?

Right on time actually.

dad was still parking the car. Funny is there's a guy here with the avatar that says 'Weiss Memorial Hospital" and that's where I was born.

2 days later my dad went to wrestlemania at the Rosemont Horizon (now called the all state arena).

the last part i dn't know why i find so funny. just picturing my 30 year old dad going to Wrestlemania.

Edit:

JustifiedHomicide i think is the s/n that has it.

[Dupe_Fiasco]

Larry were you born premature? If so how early?

Right on time actually.

dad was still parking the car. Funny is there's a guy here with the avatar that says 'Weiss Memorial Hospital" and that's where I was born.

2 days later my dad went to wrestlemania at the Rosemont Horizon (now called the all state arena).

the last part i dn't know why i find so funny. just picturing my 30 year old dad going to Wrestlemania.

Larry, how short are your parents?

Also Larry,

[LarryLaffer]

OH...and earlier in the thread it was asked if i went to the pools and i said i don't like chlorine.

that's totally true.

But also, when I was 4 I fell in a pool and almost drowned. its one of the few memories I have from early child hood, and I remember it so vividly, i even remember the clothes my grandpa was wearing when he jumped in.

so i just don't go in pools anymore.

[LarryLaffer]

my mom is 6'1 and my dad is 6'2



(1000th post!!!!!!!!!!!!)