No, I have a steady income, a house, a fiancee, two cars and countless other shit that you don't. I'm also younger than you. We are nothing alike.Originally Posted by 408Mike
Hey then i'd be you!
No, I have a steady income, a house, a fiancee, two cars and countless other shit that you don't. I'm also younger than you. We are nothing alike.Hey then i'd be you!
I have had Issues with credit cards in Europe
I know there are other posts here to get to, and I will try when I can. My comment that I "didn't have time for the thread" was the damned truth. I don't know where some of you come off insinuating I am some kind of disrespectful ungrateful prick, but I am definitely not pleased about it. If you (whoever) feel you have some good advice for my situation, drop the text and wait for my reply. Over the years how often have I been so sporadically online like this? How often do I ignore people? You think this is voluntary?
And with regard to the notion I am blowing people here off for skatz and scuter etc...yeah, I do. When my time is so limited that I literally hit the computer and have a list to work from of things I have to do, HAVE TO DO, what little free time gets allocated around what I believe will benefit me the most. Scuter helped me regain my sense of self, get off drugs, learn why I have suffered SO MUCH FOR SO LONG. By and large I am no longer depressed, never ashamed to look in the mirror, I wake up every day upbeat about life and what's ahead of me.
No one else in the world has been able to do these things. Screw anyone who says bad of that man, and any opinions on the matter may be directed to he or I personally, but please do not make baseless assertions, he's a good dude and is well worth listening to. It's funny that I feel much more optomistic and enthusiastic now that I have literally no materail possesions than I ever did before. Life is so much more than a shiny car or flat screen tv, trust me on that.
This particular thread is actually the best any man in my spot could hope for. Great advice from bottomset bcr and suicide king. That's the most I could ever have asked for from you guys, and I want to say thank you. Let's be honest though, the forums have a very definite limitation in that, what else COULD I get? I wouldn't accept money (and LOL that anyone might loan me) and it would be damn near impossible for someone to put their neck out to help me find a job. That's the catch22 to being me, yeah I can be entertaining while you watch my life and say "oh, so THAT'S what happens when I say yes insead of no, try the things my common sense told me to stay away from" etc etc. Yeah, you end up 408mike, and whilst I am not a bad person per se and I am a good employee with marketable skills, the end result of someone hooking me up with a job will be this- a knock at the door, door opens and some person from the net makes eye contact with another person from the net and realizes "holy fuck, i DON'T KNOW YOU" and that's probably more awkward than doing gay porn like heeb. rofl
I am starting a new policy as of today. If you or anyone wants to know key detailsabout my life, please do not ask. If it's urgent pm or email me, but I can't see a reason anything would be urgent. I have this weird thing where, when people ask me questions, I tend to reply with the unfettered truth. It's not a bad thing at all, but it leads to the following- people ask me how I'm doing, I answer honestly, invariably the train wreck hasn't been fixed yet (I mean come on, week to week what's going to change in my situation?) and people pile on as I get frustrated and tire of dodging curveballs designed to trip me up.
Look, my life is in the gutter. The GUTTER. If anyone wants a guesstimate I would say within three-five years I should be on my feet with money in the bank, maybe a house, definitely a career, hopefully a wife. Other than that, please don't ask. I always answer truthfully which invariably looks like attention whoring and next thing anyone knows, I went from nice guy down on my luck to a real piece of shit.
All because someone asked me how I was doing? I do appreciate the sincerity, but the forums have to start shrinking in my rear view, they are ultimately mostly a waste of time. Time which I do not have obviously. Feel free to pm me or something, and I will still post on skatz until it bores me, but I don't want anyone feeling neglected or like I was a waste of their time to type out a response and this is not the case at all. I appreciate the suggestions and kind words, it matters that people care, a LOT, but I am not getting out of this hole anytime soon, and I also do not feel like being trolled by the same cretins time and time again. It's gotten old, alright? I feel ok saying that, that the trolling on this forum and donkdown has worn thin on me. I hate it. Get a life folks, you aren't going ot be any happier because you shit on me anonymously on the internet.
Big world out there, bye.
Last edited by 408Mike; 06-19-2012 at 11:26 AM.
I have seen 0.0 proof of any of your claims, in fact any logical person might look to your demeanor and attitude for some signs of vindication.No, I have a steady income, a house, a fiancee, two cars and countless other shit that you don't. I'm also younger than you. We are nothing alike.
There are none. Not calling you a liar, but.....
I'm not going to post pictures of my house, or cars, or fiancee online. I don't need to prove shit to you or anyone. It's funny how you act like my claims are outrageous. Having a house and cars at 28 years old? Impossible!I have seen 0.0 proof of any of your claims, in fact any logical person might look to your demeanor and attitude for some signs of vindication.
There are none. Not calling you a liar, but.....
I have had Issues with credit cards in Europe
i thought you had already posted a pic of your girl online
Yeah, wearing a fail site hat. You couldn't see her face though, she doesn't want to be famous online like Marty.
I have had Issues with credit cards in Europe
Sorry I'm going to kick a guy while he is down, but I have to say what everyone is thinking right now...
tl;dr
LOL, @ Muck Ficon, another piece of shit reply from a piece of shit poster. Go back to DD and bump some Jewdonk posts you ballin homeowner you.
Mike, sounds like you are really fucking lazy. You are in your 30s now and the reason why your Mom hates you is because you probably lie on the couch all day. Let's face it, she probably had high hopes for you growing up, and not only did you not meet them, you failed beyond her wildest dreams. Now you are living at home and your failure is now ruining her marraige. The reason she is stressed is because your stepfather probably asks daily "Why is your 30 something shithead son living in our spare bedroom"?
You have become a leech. You really need to check into a local YMCA and get a low level menial job scraping food trays. Good advice was given to you in this thread and you ignored it. You are a wart on society. Do something, anything, but give your Mom a break. Living at home in your 30s is beyond sad.
HaHa, I remember this. It wasn't even aimed at you, but you seem to have gotten the most out of it. I recall writing it, but it's something I have to remind myself even at times, when I lose my edge. It's funny that you said you wanted to sign up for my philosophy. I actually have worked on a more expanded, and nuanced version of this in a motivational speaker type mindset, but have gotten sidetracked on other things. It's hard to reach the right balance with how my mind works, and what's palatable to a business-type environment. People view ideas such as hate, and anger, and think them bad, when I think how to channel them and make them productive as they are powerful allies as long as they are properly directed inward.
http://www.donkdown.com/forum/post1172858.html
Isn't life a motherfucker when we give the absolute best advice to people, and it seems all so easy to follow for yourself(since you're the one giving the advice). Attempt to apply to real life, and normally don't even acknowledge the brilliant advice we think of for others, and fail fail fail.....or is it just me?
You are taking the question I posed and it's context at the time completely wrong. My premise was to get a feel for the situation, for all I know the answer might have been something like here are a few people to call who are well off, own businesses, get out here and doors might open if you apply yourself. That sort of thing. I wasn't expecting money or anything like that, most importantly I wanted to hear his tone, like what kind of answer did I get? Something I can work with? Maybe take some risky chances? SOMETHING???
No. I have a pretty clear idea of what it would take to move to a few countries and aside from Australia nothing seems feasible.
You blame me for trying in my spot? I'm looking at 20-30 years of EXISTING at best, scraping by like a rat. I would rather chance thailand or go on a crime spree than surrender my dignity and enthusiasm for life like 99% of this country. No thank you.
Real talk, this is why I moved to Haiti in the first place. That word....existing. I can feel it now, and I work, daily. Money comes in, but no heart goes in or out. Making the money meaningless. I eat, drink, sleep, shit. No value in my experiences though. Pay bills. I don't want bills. I want experience. I truly believe I won't live past 50 and I want to make sure at 49 I'm not scrambling to finally LIVE my life. Go out of your comfort zone. Something you'd never do. You would usually say no? Say yes. Even if it's going to suck. It's something different. Life already sucks, what does it matter which type it is, as long as you're not finally dead and given up.
I'm battling with a slight depression right now, but for the first time drugs aren't included. What to do? You think you want to be in a relationship, and you've fought to make it so for years now, and now that you have it, it's not what you want. You realize you're sacrificing who you are by being someone's "mate" Being told I have to be somewhere on a saturday for graduation? WAT? I'm Dan, I don't do that. I show up when I want where I want. Sacrifice? I think I could, just not for you, not yet, not now anyway. My life is still building, and I can't build it with you in the way. Settle? I'm not a settler, I'm an explorer. I want to do things people don't think I can, just to prove a point. I can't do that when I'm also responsible for your feelings. You'll get hurt when I leave for two weeks at a time at the drop of a hat? Maybe were not meant to be, but how do I tell you this without crushing your heart? It's not that I don't want to include you on my journeys, I just don't want to include you in all my journeys, and I know that's not good enough for you.
in 2010(and many other instances) before I was getting help, the thoughts were: What's the point in trying? Why don't I just go hard until I die. Lots of people die. It doesn't have to be suicide if you just live recklessly. Who would really care? Obv, your parents because they are your parents, but maybe everyone would be better if I just died. All I'm doing is hurting people. I understand it will hurt some people if I just kill myself now, but it's like getting a flu shot. Hurts at first, but in the long run my death would save you plenty of angst. Am I even worthy of living on this planet, or do I even want to exist with these other people? All i seem to do is create chaos. I feel like I could just die now, and this way I won't have a chance to make my entire life a failure, because I can just cut it short. Is there hope?
I thought no. the real story is on Oct 11 2010 I needed help and I didn't know how to ask for it. I didn't have the balls to kill myself, or I would've just bought a gun and shot myself in the face. I was begging for help without begging for help. I toook my last oxycontin on oct 8 2010 and was withdrawing bad. I had gone through over 260k in the past three years, all of which were poker winnings. All of which went to drugs and a "lifestyle". That doesn't even include the 25K+ I borrowed/stole from people(spare your piece of shit opinion of me, im well aware) The Eagles were playing the 49ers the next day. it was a Saturday night and I had been on the internet all day/night, just as I had been for three years straight prior to what happened. I was down, and I was out. No money, no drugs, no idea, that this was all in my control. I just needed to ASK for help. I didn't know how. I figured if I could just sleep long enough someone would notice me and come take me somewhere else, anywhere else. I sent Angel a PM on NWP at the time, saying I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed to sleep for a long time, like insinuating, forever. I was staying at my parents at the time. I was 27. It was the first time I had stayed with them for a long time. Life was moving backwards. Move out at 18, success, live life, 9 years later, I'm living at the level I was when I was 12 years old. Deflating...
I sent that message. I don't know why, but it changed my life. She somehow found my parents number and called them at 3am or so. I was passed out. I had taken somewhere in the 30+ range of blue xanax and slurped it down with a bottle of vodka. It was the first time I finally felt nothing. I was just hoping to fade off into a dream and not return. It didn't happen. I woke up in an institution confused. I wasn't sure if I had died, or had just functioned while on xanax and not remembered. A couple days later I got out of my fog and realized I was in a dual diagnoses unit in a mental institution. I wouldn't let anyone visit, including my family. I wasn't ashamed, I just wasn't finished. It's like the new lock poker, I didn't want to release myself until I was fully 100% finished. I stayed in there from Oct 11-29th. It changed my life. I hadn't believed in God or anything like that, but I finally believed in some type of higher power. I don't know why I typed this, but it made me feel really relieved to just say it.
I guess the point is, when I finally came out on the 29th I had zero dollars to my name, but I was the happiest I had been since I could remember. I felt like I finally had been given a fresh start, and I didn't want to fuck it up. I struggled to stay afloat after about a month of being out, and fell into another hole. This time it wasn't drugs. It was just lack of direction, and my environment. I still had no money, so I decided to figure out how I could do something positive while being poor. Do something to make up for all the time I had lost fucking with drugs, and being in my own world, and ruining so many other people's lives/days/minutes with my selfish actions that I was looking for a way to do something. I started talking to my friend's Mom who had just gone to Haiti for a week to help out with a grassroots org and she showed me some pictures. I saw the awful conditions she was living in and I said I needed to live like this. I needed to show myself I'm not better than anyone else. I deserve to live in the poorest of the world, and come out the other end feeling like I finally did something for people who deserved it. People who weren't born into a choice of wealth such as myself. I had been pampered. I allowed that to happen. I needed to make it right.
That's all I got.
I know nobody asked for this, but this is what happened to me.... I posted this for me...
Last edited by JUSTIFIEDhomicide; 06-20-2012 at 09:28 AM.
Thats a really sweet blog, and you probably ought to ship Vwls a few hundred since she saved your life and all.
Rather than read this POS, listen to something authentic:
http://www.aaspeakers.org/Adam_T-Fro...-On-05-01-2004
Bottomset/Riboflavin,
Why don't you stick to one account? On another binge?
fwiw i enjoyed reading weiss post, funny how two of the biggest faggots on the site dont like it, am sure jsearles wouldnt like it either
obv got drunk and forgot pw againBottomset/Riboflavin,
Why don't you stick to one account? On another binge?
Thanks. It's all good. I don't expect expect sympathy or even Internet trolls like limitles to acknowledge the fact that he's miserable and has been in that same mind set a time or two.
I just wanted to get off my chest what ACTUALLY happened.
glad to have you back weiss.
Vwls couldnt forget how to use a phone one time FTW?
It's hilarious that we as a society think everyone can be a dr, a lawyer, an engineer. Some people are just fucking stupid. Why can't we just accept that?
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