What are your dating green/beige/red flags?

I found this survey online in 2023, saved it to my phone, and meant to post it up here at the time. Then I forgot, and nearly 2 years later, here I am with it.

I'm curious the way you guys would answer to each of these.

Note that:

Red flag = Big negative
Green flag = Big positive
Beige flag = Neutral or mixed feelings

Here's how men and women answered in this 2023 poll. I have to imagine that in 2025, it would probably be a bit less red for things like being conservative. In any case, here it is:



What would be your red, green, and beige flags, if dating today?

Feel free to answer, even if you are married or not otherwise looking to date at the moment.

What does the green texts thing even mean? I mean my texts are blue, but isn’t the color based on the recipients phone? Like sometimes I’ll hit send and it will be green.

I don’t find most of those things very relevant. I prefer apolitical women.

I don’t think I would like a chick who listens to Joe Rogan. Not because of his politics, but it’s such a heavily testosterone laden show, that I’d find it weird. Like I’d expect a woman who listens to Rogan to be the same type of woman who would say I always had way more male friends than girls. That I find to be an actual red flag.

The astrology shit is a huge red flag as it means they are really dumb and also believe other nonsensical things.

I don’t think I have ever met someone with no hobbies at all.


Frequently posting on social media would be the biggest red flag for me if we are talking about attention seeking posts. Frequently posting photos because they are addicted to the compliments is someone I don’t want anything to do with. If it is just kids and stuff, no concern.

One serious red flag I have found is women involved heavily in animal rights groups.

I don’t mean that they love their pet. I love animals. But the women who live for like animal rescue stuff I have found are completely insane and broken. Any girl I have ever known who is that way loves animals to that degree because there are basically no humans alive that can stand them anymore and they need something around them who can’t tell them they are crazy. That is a huge red flag.

I could come up with a better list of actual red flags than that list. I’ll add some later when I have more time and examples of something I’d instantly run the fuck away from.

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Originally Posted by BCR

What does the green texts thing even mean? I mean my texts are blue, but isn’t the color based on the recipients phone? Like sometimes I’ll hit send and it will be green.

I don’t find most of those things very relevant. I prefer apolitical women.

I don’t think I would like a chick who listens to Joe Rogan. Not because of his politics, but it’s such a heavily testosterone laden show, that I’d find it weird. Like I’d expect a woman who listens to Rogan to be the same type of woman who would say I always had way more male friends than girls. That I find to be an actual red flag.

The astrology shit is a huge red flag as it means they are really dumb and also believe other nonsensical things.

I don’t think I have ever met someone with no hobbies at all.


Frequently posting on social media would be the biggest red flag for me if we are talking about attention seeking posts. Frequently posting photos because they are addicted to the compliments is someone I don’t want anything to do with. If it is just kids and stuff, no concern.

One serious red flag I have found is women involved heavily in animal rights groups.

I don’t mean that they love their pet. I love animals. But the women who live for like animal rescue stuff I have found are completely insane and broken. Any girl I have ever known who is that way loves animals to that degree because there are basically no humans alive that can stand them anymore and they need something around them who can’t tell them they are crazy. That is a huge red flag.

I could come up with a better list of actual red flags than that list. I’ll add some later when I have more time and examples of something I’d instantly run the fuck away from.

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I agree with most of this.

It's funny how they mention the hobbies thing. I never had an issue with any girls having hobbies, but one red flag I did find in the past was a workaholic. I kind of equate that to "too many hobbies" in that it means she won't have much time for you.

I hardly used dating sites because I generally hated them, but I did try one in 2001, and a girl responded to me who seemed nice, was my age, and looked cute.

I called her up, and indeed she was quite down to earth and nice. At first I was enjoying talking to her, but then she mentioned two things which I really didn't like hearing:

1) She goes to bed super early and wakes up super early

2) She does the above because she goes to work at 6:30am and stays fairly late, and work was basically her life


It's not like she owned her own business, or anything interesting like that, where perhaps this could be overlooked. She worked for a fucking dog food company, and was one of the managers there. I asked her why she worked such long hours, and she said she just enjoyed doing that.

I pictured being thrown out of her house at 8:30pm every night so she could go to sleep in order to get up at 5am and work on dog food. And I pictured having a lot of difficulty getting any free time from her, except perhaps on weekends. By the end of the conversation, I had lost all interest, and never called her back.

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Originally Posted by BCR

What does the green texts thing even mean? I mean my texts are blue, but isn’t the color based on the recipients phone? Like sometimes I’ll hit send and it will be green.

I don’t find most of those things very relevant. I prefer apolitical women.

I don’t think I would like a chick who listens to Joe Rogan. Not because of his politics, but it’s such a heavily testosterone laden show, that I’d find it weird. Like I’d expect a woman who listens to Rogan to be the same type of woman who would say I always had way more male friends than girls. That I find to be an actual red flag.

The astrology shit is a huge red flag as it means they are really dumb and also believe other nonsensical things.

I don’t think I have ever met someone with no hobbies at all.


Frequently posting on social media would be the biggest red flag for me if we are talking about attention seeking posts. Frequently posting photos because they are addicted to the compliments is someone I don’t want anything to do with. If it is just kids and stuff, no concern.

One serious red flag I have found is women involved heavily in animal rights groups.

I don’t mean that they love their pet. I love animals. But the women who live for like animal rescue stuff I have found are completely insane and broken. Any girl I have ever known who is that way loves animals to that degree because there are basically no humans alive that can stand them anymore and they need something around them who can’t tell them they are crazy. That is a huge red flag.

I could come up with a better list of actual red flags than that list. I’ll add some later when I have more time and examples of something I’d instantly run the fuck away from.

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Generally agree with most of that. I'll throw one of my own red flags in: Adults who are super into kid stuff, and don't have kids. The women who vaca at Disney World, go to parades, go to the zoo frequently, watch fireworks shows, own a bunch of stuffed animals/dolls. They are some of the weirdest broads.

I didnt read all the material in this thread, but I will add my quick answers.

Red Flag-

If a woman is unemployed or has a lame job. Or she has a job and not a career. "Life coach" is not a job. If she is a real estate agent, she better be successful and not struggling.

When they are obvious gold diggers, food diggers, feel entitled, want a man to sponsor them, looking to take his retirement, alimony, spousal support, etc.

Lots of obvious surgery, big fake tits, lip injections, etc.

Lots of tattoos- red flag.

Lots of guy friends- red flag.

I believe financial planning is important- Youre either going to do it now, or later, in a panic. Most women refuse to financial plan and expect the man to take care of them. Most people refuse to plan for retirement and feel that "its just going to all work out".

Druff first coined the phrase "white knight" and its spot on here. If you need to white knight or rescue some woman- red flag.

Does she have a crappy car? Does she even have a car?

Always in a relationship with a dude and cant be alone- major red flag.

Smokes cigarettes or big alcohol drinker- Major red flags.

If she is living with er parents or still in an apartment by her 40's-- red flag.

She is on alot of prescription medications.

Constantly changing her cell phone number.

Bad credit score. Does she even have a credit card?

Hype emotional- Most or all women, its the estrogen.

Liberal views, colored hair, nose ring, shaved head, poor dresser- all red flags.

You cant wife a hoe.

Has too many kids or grand kids. You dont need this, run away.

The biggest one- Communication. Most women are horrible at communication.


Green Flags

She has a career, not a job.

She is stable- this will be obvious.

Not a liberal. (im not conservative either)

She does financial planning and not relaying on or waiting for a man to rescue her.

She has real estate as in owns a home.

Major point- There is no reason for a man to get married in today's society. You do not own the person, it doesnt guarantee they wont cheat on you and all a marriage license is a 3 way binding contract (2 people and the state) to split up future assets also know as community property. Forget the idea of "locking it down", because its a false idea.

Most men get married today because they think it "locks in the sex", thats BS. If you have enough game as a single dude, you can be sexual without signing a contract. Again, marriage is a losing game and all the life things can be done without marriage and power of attorney and contracts.

In closing- This is all a quick slap together list and ideas, your mileage may very.

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

Druff first coined the phrase "white knight" and its spot on here. If you need to white knight or rescue some woman- red flag.

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The term "white knight" is used in modern-day parlance to mean any kind of savior,[2] although it is also specifically used in a business context to describe a person or corporation that saves another company from a hostile takeover and acquires its assets.[3]
In various online communities and interactions, "white knight" is also used in slang to refer to men who are trying to curry the favor of women by protecting them, alongside other, similar terms, such as "simp" or "whipped".[4] Those who use the term often align with a Chad-like disposition in an often completely imagined game of sexual competition. The usage of the term implies that these men, when doing nice things for women, are motivated only by sexual desires.

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Originally Posted by 1marley1

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

Druff first coined the phrase "white knight" and its spot on here. If you need to white knight or rescue some woman- red flag.

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The term "white knight" is used in modern-day parlance to mean any kind of savior,[2] although it is also specifically used in a business context to describe a person or corporation that saves another company from a hostile takeover and acquires its assets.[3]
In various online communities and interactions, "white knight" is also used in slang to refer to men who are trying to curry the favor of women by protecting them, alongside other, similar terms, such as "simp" or "whipped".[4] Those who use the term often align with a Chad-like disposition in an often completely imagined game of sexual competition. The usage of the term implies that these men, when doing nice things for women, are motivated only by sexual desires.

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You make good points. I just wasnt going that deep on the term and my list was just a quick throw together.

I did write this too-

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In closing- This is all a quick slap together list and ideas, your mileage may very.

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

I didnt read all the material in this thread, but I will add my quick answers.

Red Flag-

If a woman is unemployed or has a lame job. Or she has a job and not a career. "Life coach" is not a job. If she is a real estate agent, she better be successful and not struggling.

When they are obvious gold diggers, food diggers, feel entitled, want a man to sponsor them, looking to take his retirement, alimony, spousal support, etc.

Lots of obvious surgery, big fake tits, lip injections, etc.

Lots of tattoos- red flag.

Lots of guy friends- red flag.

I believe financial planning is important- Youre either going to do it now, or later, in a panic. Most women refuse to financial plan and expect the man to take care of them. Most people refuse to plan for retirement and feel that "its just going to all work out".

Druff first coined the phrase "white knight" and its spot on here. If you need to white knight or rescue some woman- red flag.

Does she have a crappy car? Does she even have a car?

Always in a relationship with a dude and cant be alone- major red flag.

Smokes cigarettes or big alcohol drinker- Major red flags.

If she is living with er parents or still in an apartment by her 40's-- red flag.

She is on alot of prescription medications.

Constantly changing her cell phone number.

Bad credit score. Does she even have a credit card?

Hype emotional- Most or all women, its the estrogen.

Liberal views, colored hair, nose ring, shaved head, poor dresser- all red flags.

You cant wife a hoe.

Has too many kids or grand kids. You dont need this, run away.

The biggest one- Communication. Most women are horrible at communication.


Green Flags

She has a career, not a job.

She is stable- this will be obvious.

Not a liberal. (im not conservative either)

She does financial planning and not relaying on or waiting for a man to rescue her.

She has real estate as in owns a home.

Major point- There is no reason for a man to get married in today's society. You do not own the person, it doesnt guarantee they wont cheat on you and all a marriage license is a 3 way binding contract (2 people and the state) to split up future assets also know as community property. Forget the idea of "locking it down", because its a false idea.

Most men get married today because they think it "locks in the sex", thats BS. If you have enough game as a single dude, you can be sexual without signing a contract. Again, marriage is a losing game and all the life things can be done without marriage and power of attorney and contracts.

In closing- This is all a quick slap together list and ideas, your mileage may very.

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I strongly suspect I’ve been married longer than anyone here. It’s just a chemistry between the two of us that worked out. Like most of life the element of luck in our pairing played a huge role. She is a character. So am I. No other human would understand either of us. Not long term. Anyone else I’d be divorced multiple times for sure.

One of the biggest continuing arguments we had early on was the subject of her being a stay at home mom. I just assumed she would and she could not wait to go back to work after birth. Frankly it broke my heart she could entertain dumping them off at some day care. I hated work when I was young and couldn’t comprehend her desire to grind a job instead of raising a family and watching soaps.

If I was 40 or 50 dating I’m not sure how I would feel about her career or having money. I completely understand women might be on the hustle. Likely most women have had a few failed relationships by then and complications. If I had to think about a woman’s credit score I’d just buy a fleshlight and a set of golf clubs.

Tellafriend may be in the Caymans but nothing makes me happier than driving my wife to the airport and dropping her off at the curb. She’s in North Carolina l with her girlfriends and I’ve had the best week. She’s always jetting off with her crew. They scare me when they are together. It’s best this way.

We rarely discuss politics between ourselves. It has grown to creep into our lives more frequently of late. All those topics suck. It just brings sadness. Most of us lived during the very best years of America and civilization. Pretty damn lucky. Trying to hold onto that.

That check list is a prescription for a doomed relationship.

I am off the chart here, but I did do a Match.com date back in the day, like 2009. We met at a Bennigans (remember those)? It was incredibly awkward, we talked about the dating world and she banged her fist on the table and said she was not settling. She was like 3 years older than me, and honestly looked like 10 years older. I'd like to give some dramatic ending to the date, but I just got the check and we parted ways, she was like are you not going to walk me to my car, I was like well it's right over there and I just walked to the bar for another drink. WTF.

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Originally Posted by gut

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Originally Posted by BCR

What does the green texts thing even mean? I mean my texts are blue, but isn’t the color based on the recipients phone? Like sometimes I’ll hit send and it will be green.

I don’t find most of those things very relevant. I prefer apolitical women.

I don’t think I would like a chick who listens to Joe Rogan. Not because of his politics, but it’s such a heavily testosterone laden show, that I’d find it weird. Like I’d expect a woman who listens to Rogan to be the same type of woman who would say I always had way more male friends than girls. That I find to be an actual red flag.

The astrology shit is a huge red flag as it means they are really dumb and also believe other nonsensical things.

I don’t think I have ever met someone with no hobbies at all.


Frequently posting on social media would be the biggest red flag for me if we are talking about attention seeking posts. Frequently posting photos because they are addicted to the compliments is someone I don’t want anything to do with. If it is just kids and stuff, no concern.

One serious red flag I have found is women involved heavily in animal rights groups.

I don’t mean that they love their pet. I love animals. But the women who live for like animal rescue stuff I have found are completely insane and broken. Any girl I have ever known who is that way loves animals to that degree because there are basically no humans alive that can stand them anymore and they need something around them who can’t tell them they are crazy. That is a huge red flag.

I could come up with a better list of actual red flags than that list. I’ll add some later when I have more time and examples of something I’d instantly run the fuck away from.

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Generally agree with most of that. I'll throw one of my own red flags in: Adults who are super into kid stuff, and don't have kids. The women who vaca at Disney World, go to parades, go to the zoo frequently, watch fireworks shows, own a bunch of stuffed animals/dolls. They are some of the weirdest broads.

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That is funny you mention that. There is a girl I took to one of the high school dances on facebook, I can't remember which now. I don't have an account, but my buddy does and he just exchanges niceties with her. Talk about their kids, etc. Seemed normal for decades.

So she gets divorced in past few years. Goes on get in shape kick. Plastic surgery. So my buddy mentions something along the lines of we are getting old now and she instaships him a full frontal nude via messenger saying not bad for an old woman huh type message. He was literally speechless.

He is a married dude for 30 years with college aged and beyond kids. She is also. Clearly, we are like she is nuts now, who does that with no flirtation first? So she will come up occasionally when we are joking. Just last month she does Disney by herself for like 10 days? I assumed it was like because I think the kids might have more aligned with their father post divorce and maybe she was trying to remember a better time? I didn't know it was a real thing. I found going to Disney as an adult without kids so bizarre. I would assume you would be the only person at the pool there without them?

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Originally Posted by BCR

That is funny you mention that. There is a girl I took to one of the high school dances on facebook, I can't remember which now. I don't have an account, but my buddy does and he just exchanges niceties with her. Talk about their kids, etc. Seened normal for decades.

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Two things jump out. You don’t have Facebook and you can’t remember your date to one of the proms. This is so me.

Your buddy prolly blocked her and locked doors and windows at night for a while.

Funny read.

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Originally Posted by BCR

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Originally Posted by gut

Generally agree with most of that. I'll throw one of my own red flags in: Adults who are super into kid stuff, and don't have kids. The women who vaca at Disney World, go to parades, go to the zoo frequently, watch fireworks shows, own a bunch of stuffed animals/dolls. They are some of the weirdest broads.

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That is funny you mention that. There is a girl I took to one of the high school dances on facebook, I can't remember which now. I don't have an account, but my buddy does and he just exchanges niceties with her. Talk about their kids, etc. Seemed normal for decades.

So she gets divorced in past few years. Goes on get in shape kick. Plastic surgery. So my buddy mentions something along the lines of we are getting old now and she instaships him a full frontal nude via messenger saying not bad for an old woman huh type message. He was literally speechless.

He is a married dude for 30 years with college aged and beyond kids. She is also. Clearly, we are like she is nuts now, who does that with no flirtation first? So she will come up occasionally when we are joking. Just last month she does Disney by herself for like 10 days? I assumed it was like because I think the kids might have more aligned with their father post divorce and maybe she was trying to remember a better time? I didn't know it was a real thing. I found going to Disney as an adult without kids so bizarre. I would assume you would be the only person at the pool there without them?

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So did she look good?

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Originally Posted by tgull

I am off the chart here, but I did do a Match.com date back in the day, like 2009. We met at a Bennigans (remember those)? It was incredibly awkward, we talked about the dating world and she banged her fist on the table and said she was not settling. She was like 3 years older than me, and honestly looked like 10 years older. I'd like to give some dramatic ending to the date, but I just got the check and we parted ways, she was like are you not going to walk me to my car, I was like well it's right over there and I just walked to the bar for another drink. WTF.

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Dating sites in the 2000s had a lot of this.

There were a lot of the "I'm never settling" types on there, despite not having much to offer themselves. It's like the old meme about the slovenly fat guy with bad skin and thick glasses, saying he only dates 9s and 10s. This was the female equivalent of it.

One time I spoke to a girl from a Jewish dating site. We were both late 20s, I think around the time of my other story from 2001. The conversation went okay for about 20 minutes, until I asked her how many guys she had met from there before me. I said, "I'm not going to be upset if you met a number of guys before me from here. I realize I'm not the first person you've talked to here. I'm just curious, and also how things went."

She paused, then admitted that she had met 14. I asked how many of those 14 did she have a second date.

ZERO... POINT... ZERO!

I replied, "Wait, you met 14 guys from this site, and not one did you find appealing enough to see a second time?"

She then gave me the whole "I'm not settling" speech.

I said, "Oh, I understand that. I'm not saying you should settle. But these were 14 guys you liked enough to meet in the first place, not just 14 randoms. So out of those 14, there wasn't one who was good enough to even go out with a second time?"

Again, I got another form of the "I'm not settling" speech.

I told her, "Well, not to put myself down, but if you've rejected 14 out of 14 guys, I don't think I'm going to be magical #15 who you decide you like. So I don't think it's a good idea we continue this."

She then gave me an angry lecture about how I'm telling her she is expected to settle. I finally cut her off, said goodbye, and deleted my account for good.

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Originally Posted by BCR

So she gets divorced in past few years. Goes on get in shape kick. Plastic surgery. So my buddy mentions something along the lines of we are getting old now and she instaships him a full frontal nude via messenger saying not bad for an old woman huh type message. He was literally speechless.

He is a married dude for 30 years with college aged and beyond kids.

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This story actually doesn't surprise me.

I've noticed men and women get into different mindsets in middle age, regarding their appeal to the opposite sex.

Most men my age don't try to bank on their looks anymore regarding getting women. They mostly present their appeal from the standpoint of their careers, money, maturity, intelligence, stability, etc. Some might take pride that they look good for their age, but few are under the delusion that they look as good as they did 15 years ago.

There is a certain subset of middle-aged women who are still trying to use raw sex appeal in order to get men, and those are the ones shipping the unsolicited nudes out. Often they're trying to get validation that men are still turned on by them. Oddly, this isn't always connected to those who actually look great for their age. Some of the most modest and egoless middle aged women I've known were ones who look surprisingly good for their age, and they either don't realize it or don't see it as a big deal.

Of course, when it comes to shipping unsolicited nudes, men outnumber women in that department by a huge, exponential factor. But when guys do it, it's from the standpoint of "Hey look how horny I am", and they stupidly think it will turn the women on (it never does). When women do it, it's from the standpoint of "tell me how hot I am, so I can feel good", or "now that I showed you this, you're interested in me, right?"

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

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Originally Posted by tgull

I am off the chart here, but I did do a Match.com date back in the day, like 2009. We met at a Bennigans (remember those)? It was incredibly awkward, we talked about the dating world and she banged her fist on the table and said she was not settling. She was like 3 years older than me, and honestly looked like 10 years older. I'd like to give some dramatic ending to the date, but I just got the check and we parted ways, she was like are you not going to walk me to my car, I was like well it's right over there and I just walked to the bar for another drink. WTF.

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Dating sites in the 2000s had a lot of this.

There were a lot of the "I'm never settling" types on there, despite not having much to offer themselves. It's like the old meme about the slovenly fat guy with bad skin and thick glasses, saying he only dates 9s and 10s. This was the female equivalent of it.

One time I spoke to a girl from a Jewish dating site. We were both late 20s, I think around the time of my other story from 2001. The conversation went okay for about 20 minutes, until I asked her how many guys she had met from there before me. I said, "I'm not going to be upset if you met a number of guys before me from here. I realize I'm not the first person you've talked to here. I'm just curious, and also how things went."

She paused, then admitted that she had met 14. I asked how many of those 14 did she have a second date.

ZERO... POINT... ZERO!

I replied, "Wait, you met 14 guys from this site, and not one did you find appealing enough to see a second time?"

She then gave me the whole "I'm not settling" speech.

I said, "Oh, I understand that. I'm not saying you should settle. But these were 14 guys you liked enough to meet in the first place, not just 14 randoms. So out of those 14, there wasn't one who was good enough to even go out with a second time?"

Again, I got another form of the "I'm not settling" speech.

I told her, "Well, not to put myself down, but if you've rejected 14 out of 14 guys, I don't think I'm going to be magical #15 who you decide you like. So I don't think it's a good idea we continue this."

She then gave me an angry lecture about how I'm telling her she is expected to settle. I finally cut her off, said goodbye, and deleted my account for good.

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Like I said, it was incredibly awkward. Back then I was scoring pretty good, not necessarily good looking, but still you were getting it although the next day was miserable getting the phone call hey can I cook dinner for you, um no, one gal knocked on my apartment door like twice, she was like 170 lbs not good. This particular gal though was a flat out bitch, I dunno it was a long time ago but it just set me off.

If you’re a single successful guy with savings, a house, career, can cook and clean, do your own laundry and know how to play the game- you only need a woman for one thing. Took me a long time to learn this.

Only being real here.

Flags, in order:

-kneeling at the altar of a sky wizard of any kind. Fine with people being unsure but can't imagine spending any amount of time sharing life with someone so fundamentally different.

-not.so unlike #1 but mental illness.

-being full on committed to either side of the
political spectrum and/or talking about politics nonstop.

-having a fucked up and involved family.

-jewish

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Originally Posted by gut

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Originally Posted by BCR

That is funny you mention that. There is a girl I took to one of the high school dances on facebook, I can't remember which now. I don't have an account, but my buddy does and he just exchanges niceties with her. Talk about their kids, etc. Seemed normal for decades.

So she gets divorced in past few years. Goes on get in shape kick. Plastic surgery. So my buddy mentions something along the lines of we are getting old now and she instaships him a full frontal nude via messenger saying not bad for an old woman huh type message. He was literally speechless.

He is a married dude for 30 years with college aged and beyond kids. She is also. Clearly, we are like she is nuts now, who does that with no flirtation first? So she will come up occasionally when we are joking. Just last month she does Disney by herself for like 10 days? I assumed it was like because I think the kids might have more aligned with their father post divorce and maybe she was trying to remember a better time? I didn't know it was a real thing. I found going to Disney as an adult without kids so bizarre. I would assume you would be the only person at the pool there without them?

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So did she look good?

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She looked pretty good for lower 50s. Top 20 percent I’d put her for that age range.

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

If you’re a single successful guy with savings, a house, career, can cook and clean, do your own laundry and know how to play the game- you only need a woman for one thing. Took me a long time to learn this.

Only being real here.

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You stole this post from Two and a Half Men

IMBD

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Jake hears Charlie saying, “If you have someone to clean your house and do your shopping, and you get some action on a regular basis, the only reason you need a wife is if you have some sick compulsion to give away half your stuff”. This gets in Jake’s head, and when he gets back to Judith’s, he repeats the same to Judith’s support group.

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https://youtu.be/kafYLHrjDbY?si=CvXSa1E_xAYCMZCi

Family has its pluses too.

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

If you’re a single successful guy with savings, a house, career, can cook and clean, do your own laundry and know how to play the game- you only need a woman for one thing. Took me a long time to learn this.

Only being real here.

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Originally Posted by Sanlmar

You stole this post from Two and a Half Men

IMBD

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Jake hears Charlie saying, “If you have someone to clean your house and do your shopping, and you get some action on a regular basis, the only reason you need a wife is if you have some sick compulsion to give away half your stuff”. This gets in Jake’s head, and when he gets back to Judith’s, he repeats the same to Judith’s support group.

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Family has its pluses too.

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Actually, NO, I have never watched that (lame) TV show. I came to that conclusion by myself and by living my own life.

But, the term "single successful guy" did come from the movie Fast Times as Ridgemont High...

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Pro Tip: if their profile picture is of them and their dog, it’s a clear pass. They already have someone in their lives they can tell what to do and loves them unconditionally.

Wife is definitely a workaholic. In her last 3 jobs she is doing work of 2 people. The last job is now from 9am to 9pm. The employers see she can handle the workload, so they pour it on. She used to work weekends also is no longer doing that at least. A positive at her current employer is that she gets to work full time from home.

Maggie is def a red flag...

https://x.com/WorldDarkWeb2/status/1930946832131080259

My experience is that having a few but totally non-negotiable red flags is a pretty good filtering system for success in dating. All this stuff about politics is complete nonsense, that's the last topic I want to talk about when I come home after work. In fact, making a political identity you entire personality is a pretty good red flag itself.

My personal totally non-negotiable red flags that I always work out before actually dating properly:

• Bad relationship with her father
• No real friends
• Unemployed, with no intention of getting a job

They don't have any friends is a bigger red flag than no hobbies imo (this becomes a green flag if you are autistic).

Bad mouthing exes all the time

Bad relationship with family regardless of whether they are to blame or not (only exception is if there is zero communication otherwise be prepared to be pulled into that drama).

For me...

Red flags:

- Left wing politically. No politics is fine, centrist is fine, but can't do left wing. Zero compatibility with me.

- High maintenance look. Often indicates shallowness, plus doesn't mesh well with my cheap Jew ways.

- Arrogant/big ego

- Confrontational. Means lots of arguing/fighting in the future.

- Likes dating younger men. Frequently a sign of immaturity. Plus I would eventually be dumped for one.

- Typically associates/hangs out in predominantly male spaces

- Religious Christian. When I would hear about Jesus, I would get off the phone quickly and never call back.

- Workaholic

- Looks down on gamblers



Green flags:

- Good with money

- Politically conservative, but not MAGA type

- Has a "type" similar to me

- Intelligent, but not the type constantly trying to prove it to everyone

- Enjoys watching sports

- Likes 1970s/80s stuff

- Easygoing/lack of ego

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Never understood the dudes who import wives from Asia.

Like, if you actually make a connection with a woman from Asia and bring her out here to marry you, that's cool. But if it's just an arrangement where she marries you to get into the country, but otherwise thinks you're gross (plus you have nothing in common), what's the point?

50+-year-old white autist engineer types, who have otherwise failed with women, often utilize this, especially if they want kids and didn't have any yet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

- Religious Christian. When I would hear about Jesus, I would get off the phone quickly and never call back.

- Looks down on gamblers

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I am very non-religious and cant stand or be with a religious woman. Its just a waste of time, energy and annoying as fuck. Religion does nothing for anyone except give hope. Religion is a joke and never helped or done anything in my life.

As for a woman looking down on gamblers, thats a hard request. If youre a pro gambler, you got to spoil her (cash) on a regular basis to make her tolerate it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

As for a woman looking down on gamblers, thats a hard request. If youre a pro gambler, you got to spoil her (cash) on a regular basis to make her tolerate it.

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:no

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

For me...

Red flags:

- Left wing politically. No politics is fine, centrist is fine, but can't do left wing. Zero compatibility with me.

- High maintenance look. Often indicates shallowness, plus doesn't mesh well with my cheap Jew ways.

- Arrogant/big ego

- Confrontational. Means lots of arguing/fighting in the future.

- Likes dating younger men. Frequently a sign of immaturity. Plus I would eventually be dumped for one.

- Typically associates/hangs out in predominantly male spaces

- Religious Christian. When I would hear about Jesus, I would get off the phone quickly and never call back.

- Workaholic

- Looks down on gamblers



Green flags:

- Good with money

- Politically conservative, but not MAGA type

- Has a "type" similar to me

- Intelligent, but not the type constantly trying to prove it to everyone

- Enjoys watching sports

- Likes 1970s/80s stuff

- Easygoing/lack of ego

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I agree with a lot of this list. But I strongly agree with the high maintenance look. I dated a girl who would show up at say a football game watching party dressed like she was going to a wedding. Everyone else was in jeans and tee shirts, and I asked WTF. She just said they don't understand fashion. Yeah, but you look ridiculous.

The high maintenance women tend to have the expectation that you spend a lot of money on them, and are also just generally more shallow. They won't just go with the flow if you take them to a middle-end restaurant or hotel. They will often be bothered if you aren't as concerned with your own looks as they are with theirs.

It's just exhausting. Fortunately I never really attracted that type of woman (I think they can see the cheap Jew in me from a mile away), so we mutually stayed away from one another.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

The high maintenance women tend to have the expectation that you spend a lot of money on them, and are also just generally more shallow. They won't just go with the flow if you take them to a middle-end restaurant or hotel. They will often be bothered if you aren't as concerned with your own looks as they are with theirs.

It's just exhausting. Fortunately I never really attracted that type of woman (I think they can see the cheap Jew in me from a mile away), so we mutually stayed away from one another.

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Agreed 100%. I took the same gal referenced above to Cancun. Granted, it was not the best hotel, one of the all inclusive places so you get what you get. It was average. But the whole fucking time she complained, the drinks, the food, the towels, etc.. I mean give me a fucking break. I have a very low maintenance wife now, we stayed at a Holiday Inn a couple months ago, on points. Yeah it was a dump but we laughed it off. I am not sure why people take life so seriously, I mean get a grip.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

Quote:

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

As for a woman looking down on gamblers, thats a hard request. If youre a pro gambler, you got to spoil her (cash) on a regular basis to make her tolerate it.

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:no

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I need to clarify some on this.

Obviously I am not a professional gambler. Over my dating years, if I tell a new woman or GF that I like to go to Vegas often, the first words out of their mouths are the same- "I'm not a gambler" meaning I dont like Las Vegas. SO then I have to go into the same routine of "Las Vegas is not all about gambling, etc..." and they really dont listen. So then, I have to make up for that negative spot in the relationship- whatever she likes, go to Vegas without her, etc.

Druff- You are in a unique situation that rare and able to pull it off. The other pro-gambler I met in real life did have a nice wife, but again, he had to obviously spoil her and make her happy. Most men have to do this anyways regardless of occupation.

Discerning women and men should look down on gamblers, as most lose and have myriad other issues going on. See the bulk of professional poker players as reference. It's a frivolous existence, adding literally nothing to society.

Yes, exceptions exist, but common sense dictates avoiding people with degenerate lifestyles.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

I found this survey online in 2023, saved it to my phone, and meant to post it up here at the time. Then I forgot, and nearly 2 years later, here I am with it.

I'm curious the way you guys would answer to each of these.

Note that:

Red flag = Big negative
Green flag = Big positive
Beige flag = Neutral or mixed feelings

Here's how men and women answered in this 2023 poll. I have to imagine that in 2025, it would probably be a bit less red for things like being conservative. In any case, here it is:



What would be your red, green, and beige flags, if dating today?

Feel free to answer, even if you are married or not otherwise looking to date at the moment.

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Red flags: multiple kids from multiple guys (all the kids are half siblings), if a chick has been married and divorced 2x (maybe they’ve made a couple bad choices but it might make me wonder) especially if they’re bringing up kids on the first or second date.

Green flags: never been married or previous single divorce making more then enough money to support themselves and not looking for a sugar daddy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sloppy Joe

Discerning women and men should look down on gamblers, as most lose and have myriad other issues going on. See the bulk of professional poker players as reference. It's a frivolous existence, adding literally nothing to society.

Yes, exceptions exist, but common sense dictates avoiding people with degenerate lifestyles.

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My response is it depends on the person. If ya think about it a day trader could be viewed as a gambler as well. As long as the dudes holding up his part why should it matter if they play some 1/2 poker cash or maybe a weekly tourney at the local card room. No different then the ladies doing their bingo thing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by desertrunner

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dan Druff

:no

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I need to clarify some on this.

Obviously I am not a professional gambler. Over my dating years, if I tell a new woman or GF that I like to go to Vegas often, the first words out of their mouths are the same- "I'm not a gambler" meaning I dont like Las Vegas. SO then I have to go into the same routine of "Las Vegas is not all about gambling, etc..." and they really dont listen. So then, I have to make up for that negative spot in the relationship- whatever she likes, go to Vegas without her, etc.

Druff- You are in a unique situation that rare and able to pull it off. The other pro-gambler I met in real life did have a nice wife, but again, he had to obviously spoil her and make her happy. Most men have to do this anyways regardless of occupation.

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A lot of people still assume Vegas is just about gambling despite the push to add family friendly options including time share resorts with pools that aren’t for the 21+ crowd. All the shows on the strip now plus people can go see their favorite team in football and hockey (soon to be baseball obviously and likely basketball) to make it a trip without gambling. Hell my elderly mother goes to Vegas every 1-2yrs and all her and her best friend is play slots and she has a fixed amount set aside for slot play. Truth is nowadays not everybody is going to gamble especially with casino gaming having expanded across the country be it Indian properties or places you’d never suspect like conservative Virginia (a couple are joint ops with Indian tribes but the new one on the NC line in South Central is totally 100% Ceasers)

Major red flags:

- runs a 9th tier poker forum

- calls it a ‘free speech’ site

- starts ‘red flag’ dating threads while in a long term committed relationship with mother of his child

This woman is one big red flag-

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