Originally Posted by
Kazoey
The Yelp review in question:
The rumor is that this hotel is about to be torn down. Staying here will make an ardent atheist pray that this is true. You can even see it in the eyes of the employees. As friendly as they are, you can tell that nobody wants to be here.
The Rio is like being in 1986. By that I mean it's like you were still driving your 1986 Ford Tempo 33 years later, held together with gaffer's tape and surgical mesh, riding on the rusted rims. Vegas isn't what it used to be, anyone who's come here over the last two or three decades can attest. The Rio isn't even what it was when they last updated their Expedia page.
You have more than too many options when it comes to finding a hotel in Vegas. What finally sold me on the Rio, aside from having regular decent stays here in the past, was this from Expedia.
"Dining options include a seafood buffet, a Japanese restaurant and sushi bar, a wine cellar and tasting room, a New England-style seafood restaurant, an American grill, a South American café, an Indian restaurant, and room service."
There is no seafood buffet. It has long since been discontinued. As has the South American cafe. You find all this out piecemeal by asking everyone and anyone who has worked here long enough to remember. There used to be a Japanese restaurant. The folks at the American grille told me that it didn't exist. It had in fact closed eons ago. Yet I kept passing signs across the casino floor saying Sushi at Club 172. When I would call the front desk, they were unaware of this place. After eating there, I kept asking any employee in any department where sushi could be found. Turns out this was a new sushi place and they rent the spot no differently than a nail salon in a strip mall. The property itself doesn't know or care who may be in or out of business. They just gaze into an unknown future, waiting for the wrecking ball to swing.
There is a poster in the elevator for a celebrity host on a limited run at Chippendales's. It was from last year. I wouldn't doubt that they didn't put it up until after he was long gone. The casino floor is littered with barkers outside of every shop or passageway, hustling everything from haircuts to time-share, like beggars who ask for investments rather than pocket change. The ATM fee is 9.99 to take out a twenty, onerous even by Las Vegas standards. Thankful, and rightfully, my hometown bank treated this charge as an illegal transaction and declined it.
On the first of my six days here, I called down with a litany of these complaints from the 1986 phone in the room. But I could barely hear the front desk because the phone was so old. That simply added one more complaint.
On the second night at midnight, my manager showed up drunk at my door like Oscar Madison from the Odd Couple after having a tiff with his galpal. I didn't wake to his repeated calls and banging at my door (Thanks, Xanax!) so he simply slept like a homeless person outside of my suite in the hallway for almost six hours. Like so many piles of garbage or room service trays during my stay here, he wasn't noticed or removed.
In defense of the Rio, the suite I stayed in was a full 1600 square feet that averaged less than 200 dollars a night, with a full view of the Strip. Despite the colors of beige-on-brown-on-cream - the vibrant spectrum that brings to mind Rio de Janeiro - and the highway salvage living room furniture that is currently spitting feathers from every tear and crack, it's still a pretty decent price. So long as you avoid gambling. Go to a Station casino for that.
I won't say how much I lost gambling here but I'd estimate that my Rewards/Players Club card paid me about one penny for every twenty bucks. I've gambled less at other casinos and been offered free rooms, my own private concierge and amenities too numerous to count. Here I got half-off a buffet.
The hallway reeks of cigarettes and now-legalized recreational weed. This is a positive. Penn & Teller, as well as The Comedy Cellar with Mark Cohen and Guests are also a bonus. Pet-friendly another plus.
Still, I give it one-star. Because who reads a two-star review? It's just business.
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