How do you make a young splitthis cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick all over her Confederate Flag.
How do you make a young splitthis cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick all over her Confederate Flag.
dwai: how do we stop you from posting?
Sheboon: Don't worry about it.
A 90 year old virgin goes to the doctor complaining of a genital itch. He examines her and says she has crabs. She says its not possible, she's a virgin and has never as so much kissed a man.
She decides to seek a 2nd opinion. The second doctor also concludes that she has crabs.
Not satisfied she seeks out a 3rd opinion. The doctor says he has good news and bad news. He tells her the good news is she doesn't have crabs.
The bad news is......
What do you call 7 epileptics in a sleeping bag?
A packet of Wrigleys.
cmoney :It would be nice if Mexico could simply get human feces out of its drinking water
A rabbi and a priest walk down the street, the priest sees a kid and says "lets fuck him", the rabbi Replies "Outta What?"...
"Druff would suck his own dick if it were long enough"- Brandon "drexel" Gerson
"ann coulter literally has more common sense than pfa."-Sonatine
"Real grinders supports poker fraud"- Ray Davis
"DRILLED HER GOOD"- HONGKONGER
A guy walks into a bar and tells Vegas1369 he wants a rum and coke. Vegas tosses him an apple. The guy says WTF. Just taste it says Vegas
the guy takes a bite and exclaims, "holy shit this tastes like rum!" Vegas tells him to take a bite from the other side "wow this tastes just like coke.
another guy walks in and orders a Screwdriver. Vegas throws him an apple. The guy takes a bit and says, "damn this tastes just like vodka." Vegas tell him to turn it around and taste it.
He then says, "wow it tastes just like OJ"
A 3rd guy enters and before he can order the others tell him that Vegas can make an apple taste like anything. The guy cries bullshit and says...."ok give me one that tastes like pussy"
Vegas tosses him an apple and the guy takes a bite....he immediately spits it out and yells, "yuck that tasted like shit"
The others laugh and in unison say....TURN IT AROUND
A young Baron just arrived to Canada english is a bit spotty, pretty low on funds decided to go door to door looking to do odd jobs cut lawns, repair fences, sweep drive way, clean out garages, etc... comes upon a house, feeling a bit desperate as that day he had 22 doors slammed in his face and 6 dogs chased him out of there yards. Baron says please sir I am from Slovakia and haven't found a job yet to support my self and am running out of money to eat and pay rent, is there any thing i can do around your house kind sir???
The man felt sorry for Baron and says "well i suppose you could go to the garage and grab the paint there and paint my porch" Baron is very excited about this as he fancies him self a pretty good painter and thinks to himself that he would do a very good job and really impress this kind man.
so after 5 or 6 hours young Baron knocks on the door feeling pretty good about getting the job done in decent time and of course top quality. The man comes to the door and hands Barron two crisp new one hundred dollar bills.
well Baron is very excited, this is more money than he has ever made at one time. He thanks the man and turns to walk away and turns back around and says Mr Cmoney i don't want to be rude but. You should know Thats a Cadillac not a Porsche.
all hail Hydra
Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.
A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi
has sued Stanford Hospital saying that “after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex”.
A hospital spokesman replied: “Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”
Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.
#FREEJACK #NEVERFORGET
NoFraud Online Poker Room: http://nofraud.pokerfraudalert.com:8087. For password resets and reload requests PM me.
Heard this on a podcast.
A magician was working on a cruise ship.
Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"Okay, I give up. Where's the freaking ship??
Jim Gaffigan on God
"I like to believe that I'm such a horrible person that I need to believe there is something that will forgive me."
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone?
#ToddsPlan
Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.
Last edited by FPS_Russia; 05-27-2018 at 11:15 AM.
A jewish kid goes up to his Dad and asks to borrow fifty dollars
and the Dad says, forty dollars, what do you want 30 dollars for?
take a second for this one
have to listen from the start
Last edited by limitles; 02-11-2019 at 10:15 PM.
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