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Thread: *** OFFICIAL *** Post dumb/random things thread

  1. #2121
    Diamond DRK Star's Avatar
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    http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausa...mart-bathroom/


    Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom


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    News 8 Louisiana – Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.

    The male security guard says he knocked on the bathroom door several times but the woman did not respond. He then announced he was entering. What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.” The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.”
    Shocked, and also frightened for his safety due to the fact that Johnson is a “big girl,” the 140 pound security guard said he ran out until police arrived. When they did, female officers entered the restroom with Johnson still “putting in work with the sausage.”

    All in all, it took 7 police officers to restrain Johnson and pry the victimized sausage out of the woman’s hands. She was arrested and taken into custody where she was charged with shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest. Walmart management said in no way do they tolerate this type of behavior. They have a strict policy against shoplifters and a sign on the bathroom door that clearly reads, “No merchandise allowed beyond this point.”

     
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      simpdog: 140 lb security guard wimp. LOL too bad his name wasn't in the report
      
      Jayjami: Premium content.
      
      MumblesBadly: Big women need love, too. (But I won't volunteer!)

  2. #2122
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    The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.”





  3. #2123
    Photoballer 4Dragons's Avatar
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    Because Japan.

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  4. #2124

  5. #2125
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  6. #2126
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    Name:  fcc38dc0d600dcb991b03b29eac848bfe32de2d999746965922106b14162b82c.jpg
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      big dick: ahaha
      
      Lord of the Fraud: lol'd

  7. #2127
    Platinum Lord of the Fraud's Avatar
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    Presumably fake or trick of the light. No planet can get that big in the sky...... right?


    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

  8. #2128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud View Post
    No planet can get that big in the sky...... right?
    In our solar system, no. They're all too distant or too small to appear much bigger than stars.

    My first thought was a sun dog, but it's too perfect looking. It's probably a well done fake.

  9. #2129
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    Quote Originally Posted by SrslySirius View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud View Post
    No planet can get that big in the sky...... right?
    In our solar system, no. They're all too distant or too small to appear much bigger than stars.

    My first thought was a sun dog, but it's too perfect looking. It's probably a well done fake.

    Fake that brought over 300k youtube hits. Result.


    Not relevant to anything really.. but on halloween we're getting our last 'close call' asteroid/comet flyby in 10 years.


    A big asteroid that will zoom past Earth on Halloween may actually be a comet, NASA researchers say.

    The roughly 1,300-foot-wide (400 meters) asteroid 2015 TB145, which some astronomers have dubbed "Spooky," will cruise within 300,000 miles (480,000 kilometers) of Earth on Halloween (Oct. 31) — just 1.3 times the average distance between our planet and the moon.

    Though 2015 TB145 poses no threat on this pass, the flyby will mark the closest encounter with such a big space rock until August 2027, when the 2,600-foot-wide (800 m) 1999 AN10 comes within 1 Earth-moon distance (about 238,000 miles, or 385,000 km), NASA officials said.
    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud View Post
    Fake that brought over 300k youtube hits. Result.
    I think I may have mentioned this on PFA before, but some years back I had the idea to make fake videos for the purpose of going viral. Not the most original original idea, I suppose, but there's still ample opportunity. I was thinking about paranormal stuff to get the RegGaymers of the world buzzing, or throwing puppies off bridges to get activists outraged. There's all sorts of things you can do to get strong emotional reactions from people with just a little tinkering in After Effects.

    That "fuck her right in the pussy" guy did it brilliantly. A lot of people still don't realize that was faked.

  11. #2131
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    I challenge you to fake puppies off a bridge.


    If you could make it look real - Facebook would breakdown, while the 24hour news channels would be screaming blue murder.


    3 million hits easy. And your finest hour.

     
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      4Dragons: i could do that, actually
    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

  12. #2132
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by SrslySirius View Post

    In our solar system, no. They're all too distant or too small to appear much bigger than stars.

    My first thought was a sun dog, but it's too perfect looking. It's probably a well done fake.

    Fake that brought over 300k youtube hits. Result.


    Not relevant to anything really.. but on halloween we're getting our last 'close call' asteroid/comet flyby in 10 years.


    A big asteroid that will zoom past Earth on Halloween may actually be a comet, NASA researchers say.

    The roughly 1,300-foot-wide (400 meters) asteroid 2015 TB145, which some astronomers have dubbed "Spooky," will cruise within 300,000 miles (480,000 kilometers) of Earth on Halloween (Oct. 31) — just 1.3 times the average distance between our planet and the moon.

    Though 2015 TB145 poses no threat on this pass, the flyby will mark the closest encounter with such a big space rock until August 2027, when the 2,600-foot-wide (800 m) 1999 AN10 comes within 1 Earth-moon distance (about 238,000 miles, or 385,000 km), NASA officials said.

    what would the monetary payout be for 300k hits?
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  13. #2133
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    ^^ not a question i could answer, but guess it was directed towards Srly anyway.
    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord of the Fraud View Post
    I challenge you to fake puppies off a bridge.


    If you could make it look real - Facebook would breakdown, while the 24hour news channels would be screaming blue murder.


    3 million hits easy. And your finest hour.
    I wanted/want to kill that cocksucker. That was real right?

  16. #2136
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Big dick, what's it like being like lol wow but way fucking worse?

  17. #2137
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    Big dick, what's it like being like lol wow but way fucking worse?

  18. #2138
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Big dick, what's it like being like lol wow but way fucking worse?

  19. #2139
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Edit: why did my brand new phone just trip out and quadruple post. I'm not even gonna blame myself.

    Get it fixed Druff.

  20. #2140
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    every song ever written


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