The OP it was too long for me to read. I thought you picked your favorite.
I know, riiight? How the hell is this not a trip report? OP sucks at threads.
Plus he tricked all of us or at the very least me. I suppose you knew all along though that his name wasn't really Philip Landerer. And because you are God you just magically knew it was actually him making a joke. Riiight?