Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Work lolz

  1. #1
    Welcher jsearles22's Avatar
    Reputation
    561
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    6,690
    Load Metric
    65633111

    Work lolz

    So I have a new story for the stupid file. I work for a private security company. We hire security officers to work at different client sites. Some of these places are very high security utility plants, nuclear reactors, etc while others are very low security factories or what not.

    Our HR manager was leaving at noon today so she asked me if I could interview this guy who would be in about 1:00 today. I obviously say that I will. All of our applicants fill out their application on-line. We then print it out. When they arrive we ask them to verify the information and sign the back of the application. So while they fill the application out they get asked questions like do you have a clear background, do you do drugs, do you have reliable transportation, etc. Then they verify this information is correct before signing it. So twice they have verified it all. Then during the interview process we redundantly ask them many of the same questions, mainly about the background check. So a total of three times they get asked if they have any felonies/misdemeanors, etc.

    Anyways I interview this 53 year old guy who is different but will probably be a perfectly fine part time weekend security officer at Energizer Battery factory. He did say odd stuff you should never say in an interview (ex. I ask why he hasn’t worked for 2 years and he says something about it being easier to just collect unemployment) but I thought he would be fine for this very easy essentially do nothing job. After this process we have to fill out two more forms, one is an offer letter and one is a disclosure to do a background check. I go and get these forms and bring them back in. He asks if I have a phone book which I find odd because nothing is required on these forms except personal info. Nonetheless I get him the book. He signs off on the offer letter and background check release. We are just making some small talk and he looks up a phone number. I leave him in the conference room seemingly to make his personal call (maybe for a ride to come get him or something, who knows!). Im out in the reception area putting his paperwork together and can over hear his call. He says something along the lines of paying his fine and talking to his public defender. Immediately Im thinking “what the hell!” I run back to my desk and pull up Casenet and type his info in real quick. After some quick browsing I find out he has a lot of speeding tickets, been divorced three times in a few years, has multiple judgments against him in civil court, etc. The cherry on the sundae is that two weeks ago he was charged with misdemeanor theft (<$500).

    I catch him headed out the elevator and ask him if he can come back and chat for a second. I bring him to my office this time. I tell him I just started his preliminary background check and it looks like he was recently charged with theft? He says “yep, I got caught stealing at Wal-Mart!” I ask him if he is pleading guilty or fighting it or anything and he just says “nope, I did it and I will be pleading guilty!” It takes me a few more minutes to get through to him that we cant hire him to be a security officer if he just two weeks ago was caught stealing and arrested! His last point of argument was “I didn’t think it was a felony or a misdemeanor, I just thought it was like a municipal fine.”

    What the hell is wrong with people these days!?!?!?!?!?

    Anyone else have a LOL story from work?

  2. #2
    Bronze Yebsite's Avatar
    Reputation
    32
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    495
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    So I have a new story for the stupid file. I work for a private security company. We hire security officers to work at different client sites. Some of these places are very high security utility plants, nuclear reactors, etc while others are very low security factories or what not.

    Our HR manager was leaving at noon today so she asked me if I could interview this guy who would be in about 1:00 today. I obviously say that I will. All of our applicants fill out their application on-line. We then print it out. When they arrive we ask them to verify the information and sign the back of the application. So while they fill the application out they get asked questions like do you have a clear background, do you do drugs, do you have reliable transportation, etc. Then they verify this information is correct before signing it. So twice they have verified it all. Then during the interview process we redundantly ask them many of the same questions, mainly about the background check. So a total of three times they get asked if they have any felonies/misdemeanors, etc.

    Anyways I interview this 53 year old guy who is different but will probably be a perfectly fine part time weekend security officer at Energizer Battery factory. He did say odd stuff you should never say in an interview (ex. I ask why he hasn’t worked for 2 years and he says something about it being easier to just collect unemployment) but I thought he would be fine for this very easy essentially do nothing job. After this process we have to fill out two more forms, one is an offer letter and one is a disclosure to do a background check. I go and get these forms and bring them back in. He asks if I have a phone book which I find odd because nothing is required on these forms except personal info. Nonetheless I get him the book. He signs off on the offer letter and background check release. We are just making some small talk and he looks up a phone number. I leave him in the conference room seemingly to make his personal call (maybe for a ride to come get him or something, who knows!). Im out in the reception area putting his paperwork together and can over hear his call. He says something along the lines of paying his fine and talking to his public defender. Immediately Im thinking “what the hell!” I run back to my desk and pull up Casenet and type his info in real quick. After some quick browsing I find out he has a lot of speeding tickets, been divorced three times in a few years, has multiple judgments against him in civil court, etc. The cherry on the sundae is that two weeks ago he was charged with misdemeanor theft (<$500).

    I catch him headed out the elevator and ask him if he can come back and chat for a second. I bring him to my office this time. I tell him I just started his preliminary background check and it looks like he was recently charged with theft? He says “yep, I got caught stealing at Wal-Mart!” I ask him if he is pleading guilty or fighting it or anything and he just says “nope, I did it and I will be pleading guilty!” It takes me a few more minutes to get through to him that we cant hire him to be a security officer if he just two weeks ago was caught stealing and arrested! His last point of argument was “I didn’t think it was a felony or a misdemeanor, I just thought it was like a municipal fine.”

    What the hell is wrong with people these days!?!?!?!?!?

    Anyone else have a LOL story from work?
    fuck you...
    Me defeating Druff 100 BB heads up - http://youtu.be/LmxTH0rZaLk?t=2h12m35s

  3. #3
    Get Schwifty Ricky's Avatar
    Reputation
    132
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Julians Driveway
    Posts
    616
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by Yebsite View Post
    fuck you...




  4. #4
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
    Reputation
    7368
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    33,366
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by Yebsite View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    So I have a new story for the stupid file. I work for a private security company. We hire security officers to work at different client sites. Some of these places are very high security utility plants, nuclear reactors, etc while others are very low security factories or what not.

    Our HR manager was leaving at noon today so she asked me if I could interview this guy who would be in about 1:00 today. I obviously say that I will. All of our applicants fill out their application on-line. We then print it out. When they arrive we ask them to verify the information and sign the back of the application. So while they fill the application out they get asked questions like do you have a clear background, do you do drugs, do you have reliable transportation, etc. Then they verify this information is correct before signing it. So twice they have verified it all. Then during the interview process we redundantly ask them many of the same questions, mainly about the background check. So a total of three times they get asked if they have any felonies/misdemeanors, etc.

    Anyways I interview this 53 year old guy who is different but will probably be a perfectly fine part time weekend security officer at Energizer Battery factory. He did say odd stuff you should never say in an interview (ex. I ask why he hasn’t worked for 2 years and he says something about it being easier to just collect unemployment) but I thought he would be fine for this very easy essentially do nothing job. After this process we have to fill out two more forms, one is an offer letter and one is a disclosure to do a background check. I go and get these forms and bring them back in. He asks if I have a phone book which I find odd because nothing is required on these forms except personal info. Nonetheless I get him the book. He signs off on the offer letter and background check release. We are just making some small talk and he looks up a phone number. I leave him in the conference room seemingly to make his personal call (maybe for a ride to come get him or something, who knows!). Im out in the reception area putting his paperwork together and can over hear his call. He says something along the lines of paying his fine and talking to his public defender. Immediately Im thinking “what the hell!” I run back to my desk and pull up Casenet and type his info in real quick. After some quick browsing I find out he has a lot of speeding tickets, been divorced three times in a few years, has multiple judgments against him in civil court, etc. The cherry on the sundae is that two weeks ago he was charged with misdemeanor theft (<$500).

    I catch him headed out the elevator and ask him if he can come back and chat for a second. I bring him to my office this time. I tell him I just started his preliminary background check and it looks like he was recently charged with theft? He says “yep, I got caught stealing at Wal-Mart!” I ask him if he is pleading guilty or fighting it or anything and he just says “nope, I did it and I will be pleading guilty!” It takes me a few more minutes to get through to him that we cant hire him to be a security officer if he just two weeks ago was caught stealing and arrested! His last point of argument was “I didn’t think it was a felony or a misdemeanor, I just thought it was like a municipal fine.”

    What the hell is wrong with people these days!?!?!?!?!?

    Anyone else have a LOL story from work?
    fuck you...


    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  5. #5
    Hurricane Expert tgull's Avatar
    Reputation
    410
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Jerry Got Game
    Posts
    4,744
    Load Metric
    65633111
    LOL at this guy moralizing on Rush Limbaugh. Guy is a Security Guard.

     
    Comments
      
      Walter Sobchak: your point?

  6. #6
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
    Reputation
    1654
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    In Todd's head
    Posts
    17,634
    Blog Entries
    1
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    LOL at this guy moralizing on Rush Limbaugh. Guy is a Security Guard.
    .

    Lol at a 2012 ad hominem attack.

    Get a life nominee 2021

  7. #7
    Diamond dwai's Avatar
    Reputation
    1653
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    7,855
    Load Metric
    65633111
    JSEARLES IS GOD

  8. #8
    Welcher jsearles22's Avatar
    Reputation
    561
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    6,690
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    LOL at this guy moralizing on Rush Limbaugh. Guy is a Security Guard.
    Back in 2012 it was socially acceptable to be a security guard.

     
    Comments
      
      Sheesfaced: lolz
      
      FRANKRIZZO: all secure
      
      Walter Sobchak: LOL
      
      gimmick:
      
      garrett: lol
      
      nunbeater: lmao
    It's hilarious that we as a society think everyone can be a dr, a lawyer, an engineer. Some people are just fucking stupid. Why can't we just accept that?

  9. #9
    Plutonium simpdog's Avatar
    Reputation
    1959
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    10,555
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Was tgull in Perth in 2012?

    Was he already 1-2 million liquid by then?

  10. #10
    Gold Cerveza Fria's Avatar
    Reputation
    448
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    1,793
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Um...who the hell still has a Phone Book?

  11. #11
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
    Reputation
    1654
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    In Todd's head
    Posts
    17,634
    Blog Entries
    1
    Load Metric
    65633111


    Wait, what? Yebsite had a Fauci avatar?

  12. #12
    Diamond Walter Sobchak's Avatar
    Reputation
    1243
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Bowling Alley
    Posts
    8,875
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by simpdog View Post
    Was tgull in Perth in 2012?

    Was he already 1-2 million liquid by then?
    He doesn't even have 2K let alone 2M

    SOBCHAK SECURITY 213-799-7798

    PRESIDENT JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., THE GREAT AND POWERFUL

  13. #13
    Platinum splitthis's Avatar
    Reputation
    907
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    At the Metroparks
    Posts
    4,641
    Load Metric
    65633111
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    LOL at this guy moralizing on Rush Limbaugh. Guy is a Security Guard.
    Paul Blart persona does fit tho.
    Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

    Ronald Reagan

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. LOLZ
    By zsmith69 in forum Flying Stupidity
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-01-2012, 08:08 PM
  2. How to get older AIM to work
    By DJ_Chaps in forum Flying Stupidity
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-13-2012, 10:04 AM
  3. this is how you start a work day
    By mtnDew in forum Flying Stupidity
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-18-2012, 11:47 AM
  4. 3 Grandma's watching Kardashian sex tape LOLZ
    By hutmaster in forum Flying Stupidity
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-01-2012, 06:48 PM
  5. 408 - Help me out - How terrible is my work out routine?
    By NotAPedophile in forum Flying Stupidity
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 03-27-2012, 09:33 PM

Tags for this Thread