Things that tilt me on Airplanes

[Tony]

As an occasional flier like 5 times a year, this is what tilts me.

1) When the pilot turns on the fasten seat belt sign, people ignore it and get up to use the bathroom or get shit out from the overhead endangering everyone else

2) People that put on their seatbelt before the window seat is occupied, therefore wasting time unbuckling while others are waiting behind the guy trying to get to his window seat

3) I despise people brining smelly food on an airplane. If you are that hungry eat before you get on the plane. WTF? You can't wait a couple hours? You are that fucking hungry?

4) People chattering and laughing when there is turbulence. It needs to be completely quiet during these times

5) Fuckers that sleep and snore. STFU and wake up and get a cocktail, you are annoying everyone

[unchainedghost]

Why don't you be a man and say something about these problems of yours?

Or say nothing and be a total pickle the rest of your life.

[SrslySirius]

Fat people and babies.

[herbertstemple]

The crashes kind of suck.

[TheXFactor]

People who fuck on the airplane.

You don't know that people can hear you?

If you want to have sex on an airplane, go to 1st class or bend over a flight attendant.

[cmoney]

narcissistic people in couch that use the first class bathroom. If was in couch I never do this.

People in couch trying to put luggage in the first class compartments because they know it will be full in the back. more narcissism.

People that talk on their cell phones while on plane and engage in long (non emergency) conversations. I want to sleep and I have to listen to the details of your business deal right in my ear



Bottom line is if you are first class you can get away with a lot more shit. In first class, the stay in your seat sign means nothing and the flight attendant isnt going to give you shit if you get up When you ask for a drink you usually get it in under a minute.

I have to admit though that domestic first class is pretty shitty these days. It seems to be getting worse.


btw, this is gold:

[Lord of the Fraud]

The bird that flew into the French Alps earlier has gotta be everybodys worst fucking fear.


Poor bastards had a good 8 minutes to soak up what was about to happen to them.



Fuck that, would rather be beheaded.


Speaking of which... I'm off to ISIS territory next Tuesday and shall be flying over the French Alps in a A320...... Perfect timing


Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.


But even after downing the scotch I'll still be wide eyed and be chewing on the benzies like a bastard.

[cmoney]

The bird that flew into the French Alps earlier has gotta be everybodys worst fucking fear.


Poor bastards had a good 8 minutes to soak up what was about to happen to them.



Fuck that, would rather be beheaded.


Speaking of which... I'm off to ISIS territory next Tuesday and shall be flying over the French Alps in a A320...... Perfect timing


Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.


But even after downing the scotch I'll still be wide eyed and be chewing on the benzies like a bastard.

Xanax is really god for these situations. Only time i take it. Not because of really any fear of flying but because of the monotony that comes with traveling.

[sonatine]

Last time I flew first class, the waitress spent at least 80% of the 6 hour flight flirting and drinking beer with two frat tards sitting across the row from me. Nothing to be done, Virgin considers its first class cabin to be some sort of fucking EDM club of the sky.

[Lord of the Fraud]

The bird that flew into the French Alps earlier has gotta be everybodys worst fucking fear.


Poor bastards had a good 8 minutes to soak up what was about to happen to them.



Fuck that, would rather be beheaded.


Speaking of which... I'm off to ISIS territory next Tuesday and shall be flying over the French Alps in a A320...... Perfect timing


Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.


But even after downing the scotch I'll still be wide eyed and be chewing on the benzies like a bastard.

Xanax is really god for these situations. Only time i take it. Not because of really any fear of flying but because of the monotony that comes with traveling.

Funny you say

Heard that drug mentioned loads around these forums so mentioned it as an option to my doc for flying about 2 years ago... Laughed in my face and wrote me my usual script for Diazepam.


This is a doc that I've known for 25 years and have always talked him into giving me practically everything I've asked for...


Not the Xanax though... wouldn't entertain that idea for a single second.

[anonamoose]

As an occasional flier like 5 times a year, this is what tilts me.

1) When the pilot turns on the fasten seat belt sign, people ignore it and get up to use the bathroom or get shit out from the overhead endangering everyone else

This is really no big deal

2) People that put on their seatbelt before the window seat is occupied, therefore wasting time unbuckling while others are waiting behind the guy trying to get to his window seat

I never had this problem because I'm not fat

3) I despise people brining smelly food on an airplane. If you are that hungry eat before you get on the plane. WTF? You can't wait a couple hours? You are that fucking hungry?

extremely rarely a problem and i would just deal with it

4) People chattering and laughing when there is turbulence. It needs to be completely quiet during these times

lol what?

5) Fuckers that sleep and snore. STFU and wake up and get a cocktail, you are annoying everyone

narcissistic people in couch that use the first class bathroom. If was in couch I never do this.

Agreed, and if IIRC this is actually illegal if there is a barrier between the two cabins

People in couch trying to put luggage in the first class compartments because they know it will be full in the back. more narcissism.

This was a huge problem in Asia and I had to fight with flight attendants many times when I was flying first class to get them to move the shit

People that talk on their cell phones while on plane and engage in long (non emergency) conversations. I want to sleep and I have to listen to the details of your business deal right in my ear

never really ran into this issue

Bottom line is if you are first class you can get away with a lot more shit. In first class, the stay in your seat sign means nothing and the flight attendant isnt going to give you shit if you get up When you ask for a drink you usually get it in under a minute.

I have to admit though that domestic first class is pretty shitty these days. It seems to be getting worse.

My general problems are parents who bring kids on the plane that are flights over 8 hours. One particular time sticks out in my mind when I was flying from Toronto to Beijing. I was in first class and a guy asked to switch seats with me because he was in the first cabin and his wife was in the second cabin across from me. I said alright no big deal, same seat, same class, etc. Lady behind me at my new seat had like a 2 year old with her that would not stop crying for the full 13 hours.

[PLOL]

Grape-nuts. Not grapes. No nuts

[Tony]

Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.

I am generally buzzed when I board a flight, minimum of 4 Stolis or 4 wines. Now it sucks when you have an extended Taxi because you come off your buzz, but as soon as the cart comes around I have my credit card out.

I have a huge fear of take-offs. Seems most flights go down right after take-off. Most pilot error which is why pilots need to be paid $500K minimum. We have a number of bums flying planes now, especially on these commuter jets.

[BHS]

How about when the plane lands and every dumb motherfucker on it stands up in the aisle for 10 mins before they open the door. Standing up to crowd the aisle and wait there like a dipshit doesn't get you out the door any quicker.. Sit the fuck down and get up when it makes sense.

[Lord of the Fraud]

Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.

I am generally buzzed when I board a flight, minimum of 4 Stolis or 4 wines. Now it sucks when you have an extended Taxi because you come off your buzz, but as soon as the cart comes around I have my credit card out.

I have a huge fear of take-offs. Seems most flights go down right after take-off. Most pilot error which is why pilots need to be paid $500K minimum. We have a number of bums flying planes now, especially on these commuter jets.

Same as me fella, I'm licking my chops watching that booze cart move slowly down the aisle... Feels such a relief to get topped up..


And you mention bums that fly planes...

Was in conversation with a guy last week who told me the pilots of many budget airlines are actually paying the airlines themselves to fly the planes as many are junior pilots if you like, and that is the only realistic way they can get the flying hours they need under their belt..

Not sure how true that it, but he's not the sort of guy who would spin me a yarn like that..

Spooked the living shit outa me.

[Tony]

I am generally buzzed when I board a flight, minimum of 4 Stolis or 4 wines. Now it sucks when you have an extended Taxi because you come off your buzz, but as soon as the cart comes around I have my credit card out.

I have a huge fear of take-offs. Seems most flights go down right after take-off. Most pilot error which is why pilots need to be paid $500K minimum. We have a number of bums flying planes now, especially on these commuter jets.

Same as me fella, I'm licking my chops watching that booze cart move slowly down the aisle... Feels such a relief to get topped up..


And you mention bums that fly planes...

Was in conversation with a guy last week who told me the pilots of many budget airlines are actually paying the airlines themselves to fly the planes as many are junior pilots if you like, and that is the only realistic way they can get the flying hours they need under their belt..

Not sure how true that it, but he's not the sort of guy who would spin me a yarn like that..

Spooked the living shit outa me.

The Co-Pilot that was flying on the commuter plane in 2009 that crashed in Buffalo was making less than $40K a year. She was complaining how broke she was on the cockpit voice recorder before it nosedived. Killed like 100 people if I remember correctly.

[Lord of the Fraud]

Also the people with assigned seats that cue like soft cunts to be first (or one of the first) to board the plane..


Just never understood that one... I'm always last or near last to stumble on board into my obvious empty seat..


Fucking spastics.

[cmoney]

Xanax is really god for these situations. Only time i take it. Not because of really any fear of flying but because of the monotony that comes with traveling.

Funny you say

Heard that drug mentioned loads around these forums so mentioned it as an option to my doc for flying about 2 years ago... Laughed in my face and wrote me my usual script for Diazepam.


This is a doc that I've known for 25 years and have always talked him into giving me practically everything I've asked for...


Not the Xanax though... wouldn't entertain that idea for a single second.

I think Xanax gets a bad name. It is highly effective if you dont abuse it. I have taken Valium too and honestly the effects are pretty similar. Valium just has a longer half life. With all Benzos it comes down to how long and what the dose is.


I personally would never take any benzo for more than a day

[cmoney]

Already not the best flyer. And after todays events..... Reckon i'll be getting through a good 3/4 bottle of whiskey before boarding the flight.

I am generally buzzed when I board a flight, minimum of 4 Stolis or 4 wines. Now it sucks when you have an extended Taxi because you come off your buzz, but as soon as the cart comes around I have my credit card out.

I have a huge fear of take-offs. Seems most flights go down right after take-off. Most pilot error which is why pilots need to be paid $500K minimum. We have a number of bums flying planes now, especially on these commuter jets.

This is exactly why i never leave for the airport without minimum of four mini bottles in carry on.

[sonatine]

xanax is my spirit animal. its basically legal in thailand over the counter (you know, sorta, wink wink). i slept the sleep of babies on opium there, thanks to the mighty bar.


its also ruthlessly addictive and considered to be the single hardest drug to withdrawl from ever. people fucking die from xanax withdrawal.

 

#YOLO SFO