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Thread: OFFICIAL LOL @ APPLE WATCHES THREAD

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    OFFICIAL LOL @ APPLE WATCHES THREAD

    Honestly.

    I get that they are just jockeying for market position so when the tech ripens in 5 years they get pole position, but seriously if I had stock in Apple I would dump that shit in a fucking heartbeat and go on a buying frenzy after the first round of horrific reviews came back.

    Because seriously, this product is Fucking Terrible. Like in so many ways.

    I mean just for starters, Apple more or less killed the non-dress wristwatch years ago with the iPhone. If youre not wearing a watch to accessorize your suit, you use your fucking phone to tell the time. So basically what we are left with is an even less useful Google Glass; all the social stigma, probably the same fucking price, and a literal fraction of a fraction of the functionality.

    That said, once they get storage, batteries life, and high end cameras installed, who the fuck knows, they might have just killed the cell phone. But thats so far beyond the tech event horizon that its not going to spare them a savage beating on the stock exchange and in the tech blogosphere, not by a damned site.

     
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      rickastley: "this product is fucking terrible" rep
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Gold Suicide King's Avatar
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    Apple watches? Pshaw!
    Attached Images Attached Images  

     
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      sonatine: #madeniggahand
      
      anonamoose: cool you paid 5000 dollars for a name. get a real watch next time you want to spend that much.
      
      rickastley: a $10 watch does the same job
      
      ToasterOven: othello
      
      4Dragons: nice chunk of metal rep
      
      nunbeater: is it a seahorse? is it a rook? the answer is yes

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    Plutonium Sanlmar's Avatar
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    Buy the rumor & sell the news. Little remedial lesson 'tine.


    But of course you sell the news. If this was an iPhone 6 again (and it's not) - you sell the news.

    Buy the rumor. Did you see run up as they talked about Apple doing an automobile a couple weeks ago?

    When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.... then you can trade.

     
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      bukowski72: FEED YOUR HEAD, FEED YOUR HEAD

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    Platinum Krypt's Avatar
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    Nice Rollie HOLMES

     
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      Suicide King: Orale ese

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    Platinum cmoney's Avatar
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    I have been fucking with the options all day. Stock went up around 3 bucks when they were talking about the new macbooks but when they started talking about the fail watch it took a dive. Still time left in day but only up 50 cents or so now.

    The problem I think they have with the watch is just gadget overload. Anything you can do with the watch you should be able to do with the phone and people have gotten used to that already. Plus wearing this watch is only slightly less faggot than Google glass.
    :freelewfather

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    hide your wife. hide your kids.

    https://www.apple.com/apple-pay/where-to-use-apple-pay/

    buy this stock.

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    Platinum BetCheckBet's Avatar
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    I agree the product is crap but apple fanboys will by it up regardless. I can see it not meeting projections but can't see it tanking due to above.

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    the watches start at... NOT JOKING BTW....



    $1100
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Plutonium simpdog's Avatar
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    Buy AAPL stock. The new macbook looks good, the watch will sell.

    My watch is still running fine.

    Name:  WatchCalculator-casio.jpg
Views: 427
Size:  86.7 KB

     
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      gauchojake: wiz is super jealous

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    the watches start at... NOT JOKING BTW....



    $1100

    I stand corrected, people are reporting $350...?

    http://www.engadget.com/2015/03/09/a...?ncid=rss_full
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Platinum BetCheckBet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    the watches start at... NOT JOKING BTW....



    $1100

    I stand corrected, people are reporting $350...?

    http://www.engadget.com/2015/03/09/a...?ncid=rss_full
    Correct they were anticipating it would be apples cheapest entry product.

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    Platinum thesparten's Avatar
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    They have a very devout following all over the world..logic perhaps shouldn't be attributed to there stock price..I only own 4 shares..I remember a while ago they were sleeping on 86st to get the "New" iPhone for 600bucks that was still 3g..I walked pasted them with a 4g that I got for free that had a bigger screen...lol they would pay a grand for a turd if it came with the Apple emblem..

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BetCheckBet View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post


    I stand corrected, people are reporting $350...?

    http://www.engadget.com/2015/03/09/a...?ncid=rss_full
    Correct they were anticipating it would be apples cheapest entry product.

    Nod, the metal ones are 1100 and up apparently.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Platinum cmoney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BetCheckBet View Post
    I agree the product is crap but apple fanboys will by it up regardless. I can see it not meeting projections but can't see it tanking due to above.

    I think there is a difference between the iphone fanboys and fanboys that would want this watch. There are going to be a lot less of the latter.

    The iphone is a socially acceptable and everyone has one. The watch is not masculine and could potentially even effect your chances of getting laid. Ultimately that is one of the reasons Google Glass failed. Very few girls are going to screw some dude who walks around with that shit strapped to his face.

    It is amazing how many things either fail or succeed based on sex. Smoking used to be "cool" and got guys laid. During the same period, if you smoked a vape pen you would have been laughed at by both sexes. Now smoking is a lot less cool and actually hinders your chances of getting laid.

    Apple has so many things going for it though that even when this fails it will probably only cause short term damage (if any) but the watch product wont succeed.
    :freelewfather

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    Diamond TheXFactor's Avatar
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    Prices for Apple Watch start at $349 which may be made out of aluminum, but you probably want to get the stainless steel version which costs $549 to $1049 for the 38mm or $599 to $1099 for the 42mm.

    Prices also depend on watch band.

    Limited quantities of the Apple Watch Edition, prices start at $10,000.

    You must have a iPhone 5S, iPhone 6 or iPhone 6 plus to link to Apple Watch.







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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    serious question; are they even water resistant?
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    yes.

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    Plutonium simpdog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    serious question; are they even water resistant?
    I'd wager it's resistant yes.

    Waterproof? Doubt it.

     
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      superallah: correct. until you break the glass. so water resistant during the first two weeks.

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Im going to guess that people get a fast and expensive lesson in the difference between 'water resistant' and 'water proof' pretty soon.

     
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      simpdog: They'll need to add another whole support center to handle the calls.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Silver ThreeBet's Avatar
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    From an article:

    "This is a thing you buy if you are willing to spend hundreds of dollars to solve a problem whose previous solution was reaching into your fucking pocket and taking out your phone."



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