Sorry the story is long.
Last week after busting balls about POF.com, I decided to check it out for a random search of some new additions to the site. Well after browsing for a little bit, I saw a chick I attended highschool with. You could tell back then that she had potential. She was spanish, a mix of Puerto Rican and Mexican, as I would find out later. I had never talked to her before, maybe a random hello in highschool or something, but never any more than that. I decided to message her anyways.
I was surprised that she got back to me so quickly, so we exchanged numbers and on it went from there. We texted back and forth for the next couple of days, but I still didn't get the feeling she wanted to hang out. I really didn't know myself, if I wanted to try and pursue anything with her. It was more of a ( be friendly, keep her in mind, and maybe one day when she is horney you might get lucky) and also she was really weird from what I remember. Well it wasn't until yesterday that she asked me if I would like to get a drink. She got out of work at 2, and she asked if I would like to meet her at the bar she tended. I snap called.
I was excited as I hadn't seen her in 10 years, except for the photo's she had on the site. Well around 10pm I was starving and couldn't wait any longer. I planned on just getting us both something to eat at the bar, but I hadn't eaten all day.
I decided to drive over to Taco Bell and try out the new Dorito's Taco's. I don't know who said that they were disappointed in the taste, but I had to overwhelmingly disagree. These tacos are the shit. I originally ordered 3, just in case they were meh, but I quickly went up and got three more. After 6 taco's I was on my way.
I spent the next couple of hours lurking here, and watching "When it was a Game". I hadn't seen it in a year or so, but I could watch it once a week.
Before I know it, it was ten after 1. My lady friend sent me a text and told me she was getting out a little early, and if I wanted, I could meet her in a little bit. I was already dressed, so I threw on some sneakers and out the door I went.
While driving to the bar (which only takes about 5 minutes) I kept asking myself, "What the fuck are you going to say?" "How are you going to pull this one off?" "You think she just wants to get in the sac?" "Get a grip, and show some balls."
I was nervous I admit, but I had to put my game face on. When I pulled up to the bar I hit the jackpot, there was a spot out front. Yet to my surprise, she was standing right there. I almost shit myself cause she was not what I remember. Yes I saw her pics online, and I always knew she had potential behind those librarian glasses and American Eagle sweatshirts, but I wasn't expecting her to be so sexy.
I got out of the car and exchanged all the awkward hellos and hugs, but when I asked her if she wanted to go in she said no. She asked if I could bring her to her place so she could change. I obv said yes, and off we went.
The car ride was was great as I made her laugh, we talked about what we were doing now, the bullshit small talk, whatever. Everything was going great, until something happened. Those fucking taco's started talking to me. I don't know if it was the nerves or what not, that had brought upon such a fire storm in my colon, but all the sudden I had to shit so fucking bad.
It was the kind of shit where you had to find a toilet and find it fast. It wasn't the kind of shit where you might be able to squeeze out a fart, and be good for the next 20 minutes until you found a safe restroom. It felt like M80's were exploding in my asshole.
The only thoughts going through my mind now were finding a place to unleash this flurry of ugly. My only question now was, was she going to let me in? Was she just going to say, "brb 2 secs?" Well I took the initiative and just got out of the car. Thankfully she let me follow her in.
As we walked in, I met her older sister. She was fine too, but she was off to bed. My girl told me she would be a couple minutes and for me to make myself at home. She asked if I needed anything, and I said no. Fully knowing that a huge dump was hitting my asshole like a battering ram, and I needed a toilet.
The minute she closed her bedroom door I ran a 4.2 forty straight to the bathroom. I unleashed a dump that only a real man can be proud of. Oh my god I was so relived. Yes my ass was on fire, but at least it was out of me. I found myself laughing a little bit from the smell. It was god awful, yet for some reason I was proud. I was fully ready to make the best of this night. Little did I know I had broken the number 1 rule when using an unsafe toilet. I forgot to curtiosity flush.
For the next 7 minutes I tried flushing and flushing. I ran around frantically checking the closets for any sign of a plunger, but to my dismay there was none. I had no way of getting this massive load away from the general public. I tried flushing it one more time, but that just made it worse.
I was standing in the bathroom of a sexy ex-dork, with absolutely no outs. I wish I had more time to work on it, but I didn't. I simply just left it. I left this massive molton lava dump to be discovered by an unsuspecting lucky individual.
I sprayed some CK1 on me that I found in the mirror cabinet and I left. I strolled back to the couch, where she had left me to go change. She came out a minute later and thankfully she did not have to use the bathroom.
We went out to get a bite to eat, had a few drinks, and had a really great time. Yet the whole time I was wondering if her sister had found the dump. Luckily she didn't invite me inside when I dropped her off, as I didn't want to face the violation that had occurred on a few hours before.
She asked me if I would like to get together sometime this week, but I told her I would be away until next Sunday. She said that's cool and she would call me. If I hadn't taken this dump I would have seen her tonight, but I wasn't going back to the scene of the crime so quickly.
While driving away I got a text from her saying how great the night was, how nice it was to reconnect with me, and how she can't wait to go out again. Every time my phone vibrates I am wondering if it is going to be her asking me if I used the bathroom last night.
TheEnd
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Originally Posted by LLL
