*** OFFICIAL TYDE'S NFL WEEK 9 STONE COLD BET THE FARM LOCKS THREAD ***

[tyde]

OK well last week was a bit disappointing losing my last 2 games...

could have easily have been 11-3...but 9-6 is decent I suppose considering I know less than dick about football and do very little research on these games.

Remember these are all straight moneyline picks

Lets have a look at this weeks matchups shall we ?


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Thursday Night Game



Saints vs Panthers in Carolina

obv this is a huge divisional matchup game in the shitty ass NFC south.....but New Orleans is 0-4 on the road, and Drew Brees is a total fag. Whats not to like about Cam Newton at home ?

I think it's going to be a close game, but the Panthers will win by a field goal


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Sunday Games



Buccaneers vs Browns in Cleveland

this looks like a no brainer win for the Browns. They are 3-1 at home, and Tampa Bay is horrible at 1-6 overall.

def sell your Rolex and bet it all on Cleveland


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Cardinals vs Cowboys in Dallas


Just can't fathom the Cowboys losing 2 straight, especially after the heartbreaker on Monday night....Expect Tony Romo to come back with a vengeance and put up some good numbers. Cowboys by a touchdown or more.


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Eagles vs Texans in Houston


Texans looked pretty good last week. But Philly is tied with the Cowboys now in the NFC east and I think they'll be pumped up for this game. I don't think Houston is that strong of a contender. Look for Philly to the get the road win here.


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Jets vs Chiefs in Kansas City

wow this should be a great game. Rex Ryan just announced Michael Vick starting on Sunday...but ugh, Kansas City is usually so tough at home. Both teams aren't very good...but lets face it...the Jets suck no matter what. but I don't think even Michael Vick coming in will make a bit of difference when the Jets are so flawed on both offense and defense.

KC cruises to an easy win


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Jaguars vs Bengals in Cincinnati

lol who cares really, but I'm gonna take the Bengals because the team colors are orange and black, and it's gonna be Halloween in a few days. I don't know anything about either team, and really don't give a rats ass about this matchup on any level

obviously bet your parents retirement fund on the Bengals


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Chargers vs Dolphins in Miami

This game is a coin flip for the most part imo. These teams always play each other hard. But Miami needs this win to get in the mix in the AFC east, and I have always hated the stupid Chargers.

gonna go with the Dolphins here


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Redskins vs Vikings in Minnesota

Redskins coming off a huge win and will have a ton of momentum , plus I have to admit ...Colt McCoy looked solid last night. I think the Skins come into Minnesota and get a road win here.

The Vikings are only 1-2 at home this season and on the bottom of the NFC north, which is arguably the weakest division in the NFL

steal all your mothers jewelry, take it to a pawn shop...and it bet it all on the Redskins


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Rams vs 49ers in San Francisco

Rams always play the Niners tough, but I'm gonna take San Francisco to roll all over them. This is kind of a no brainer money line pick. slam dunk home win this week for my 49ers


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Broncos vs Patriots in New England

game of the week obv....this one should be a shootout with a lot of yards being put up by both offenses. I'm going to take the Broncos simply because imo Peyton Manning is a better QB overall that gay ass Tom Brady. also because Bill Bellichick is a pos and I love to see the Pats lose...esp at home.

Broncos win on the road to go 7-1


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Raiders vs Seahawks in Seattle


lol nigga please..

if the Raiders miraculously win this game, I'll post a pic of my bare ass on the internet. Obviously Seattle destroys the worst team in the NFL.

bet your retirement fund, sell your house, steal your grandmothers life savings. money line lock of the century for a dominating Seachickens win


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Ravens vs Steelers in Pittsburgh

Big Ben actually looking pretty sharp for a change. But both teams 5-3 right now and this is a key AFC north matchup. It could go either way. The Steelers are 3-1 at home and have some nice momentum, so I gotta go with the Steelers simply because of the home field advantage.


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Monday Night Game



Colts vs Giants in New York


I have absolutely no clue about either of these teams and probably won't even watch the game on Monday Night. I couldn't name a single player on either roster. I have zero interest in this game and didn't even bother to look up their respective records for this pick.

go give some plasma and bet it all on the Giants


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see you next Sunday

peace

[chinamaniac]

Ill post the lines later for tracking purposes. Solid writeup TYDE

[snake_in_the_ass]

Raiders vs Seahawks in Seattle

if the Raiders miraculously win this game, I'll post a pic of my bare ass on the internet.

Go Raiders!

[chinamaniac]

lines via http://www.sportsbookreview.com/bett...ll/money-line/

Panthers +125
Cleveland -275
Dallas -175 (got at vegasinsider)
Philly -119
KC -470
Cinci -580
Miami -128
Wash - OFF THE BOARD ( ML off the board right now, will get a line later, prob will be -160 if they are still 3 point favs)
San Fran -500
Broncos -157
Seattle -1500 (lock of the century)
Pitt -108
Giants +155

[mulva]

i didn't see any farm or ez picks this week.

good to see you introduced a few new ones.


-sell mothers jewelry
-slam dunk win
-sell blood/plasma
-sell your rolex
-cash in your retirement fund


and you even managed to take it to a new level by possibly going 4-0 in one game


-retirement fund,
-sell your house,
-steal your grandmothers life savings.
-money line lock of the century

[adamantium]

back up that truck again boys, but I wouldnt have bet the Giants

[JUSTIFIEDhomicide]

Tyde this is a beautiful writeup. I just wish you would go all the way instead of half ass and do a little more research and pick the spreads as well, for fun.

[tyde]

sorry people...

Sonny fagging up page one with neg rep

apparently he's a professional handicapper by trade lol

[Sloppy Joe]

I won't bet on any of these until JSearles weighs in.

 

[adamantium]

nice to see Sonny do a Sizzle and tilt apeshit over Martys comedy betting

[GrenadaRoger]

lines via http://www.sportsbookreview.com/bett...ll/money-line/

Panthers +125
Cleveland -275
Dallas -175 (got at vegasinsider)
Philly -119
KC -470
Cinci -580
Miami -128
Wash - OFF THE BOARD ( ML off the board right now, will get a line later, prob will be -160 if they are still 3 point favs)
San Fran -500
Broncos -157
Seattle -1500 (lock of the century)
Pitt -108
Giants +155

thnx for posting lines....I cross-checked them, your lines look good (close to what I am seeing now a few hours later)

question: assume $100 bet on each game? (for calculating net win/loss)

[chinamaniac]

lines via http://www.sportsbookreview.com/bett...ll/money-line/

Panthers +125
Cleveland -275
Dallas -175 (got at vegasinsider)
Philly -119
KC -470
Cinci -580
Miami -128
Wash - OFF THE BOARD ( ML off the board right now, will get a line later, prob will be -160 if they are still 3 point favs)
San Fran -500
Broncos -157
Seattle -1500 (lock of the century)
Pitt -108
Giants +155

thnx for posting lines....I cross-checked them, your lines look good (close to what I am seeing now a few hours later)

question: assume $100 bet on each game? (for calculating net win/loss)

yes to win 100 on each or 100 to win x on dogs. So for my tracking with these Seattle is laying -1500 to make 100 , panthers are laying 100 to make 125

[drufdajewgod]

Please let the Raiders win this once, just this once.

[JACKDANIELS]

BET THE TV STAND

[GrenadaRoger]

Mister Master Picker RippyTyde---do you want to revise your Cardinal/Cowboy pick?

Dallas starting OLB Justin Durant is out for the season due to injury in Monday nights game---also, starting QB Tony Romo is 'questionable at best' according to Cowboy Head Coach Jason Garrett at today's press conference.

[gut]

NFC North arguably the weakest division? Only if you're arguing with that neighbors lobster.

[tyde]

Mister Master Picker RippyTyde---do you want to revise your Cardinal/Cowboy pick?

Dallas starting OLB Justin Durant is out for the season due to injury in Monday nights game---also, starting QB Tony Romo is 'questionable at best' according to Cowboy Head Coach Jason Garrett at today's press conference.

Brandon Weeden looked sharp as fuck when Romo got hurt on Monday night.

IMO stupid ass Romo should have stayed out of the game in the best interests of the team

Nevertheless, with or without Romo, I'm going to stick with the Cowboys at home

[Brittney Griner's Clit]

I won't bet on any of these until JSearles weighs in.

 

He got thirteen 69'd from this forum.

[simpdog]

Anyone arguing with Tyde over picks or debating the legitimacy of this thread needs your head checked.

Do you buy the National Enquirer @ the grocery store and believe everything you read?


This thread is pure gold entertainment. Tyde should start a satirical tout website and write these up every week.

Tyde I'll invest in the infrastructure (domain, web hosting, etc) for 50% of the venture.

[DJ_Chaps]

Just hopped in front of the tablet cam to give my picks. Uploading now.


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