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  1. #1
    Diamond DRK Star's Avatar
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    Getting more food at Panda Express

    There are some other quite obvious ways of increasing the amount of food you receive at Panda Express, such as always asking for your meal in the to-go container instead of the dine in plate. But I want to talk about something a bit more technical.

    When you order a meal from Panda with more than two entrees, the first two entrees will be included in the Primary Container (PC) along with your side and any subsequent entrees will be put into their own Individual Secondary Containers (ISC's). I argue that there is both strategy and value in determining which of your entrees is received in an ISC.

    The strategy is simple. When placing your order, quickly say the names of the two entrees you want in the PC and stall until they are actually in the PC, then tell the employee the rest of your order. Failure to do this will result in entrees being served in order of increasing distance from the starting location.

    Now let's talk value. We want to maximize the amount of food received and this can vary widely depending on the item placed in the ISC. This variance is caused by the item's ability or inability to conform to the shape of it's container, the method used to place the item in the container, and the instrument used to serve the item.

    I will illustrate with an example. Suppose I have a 3-entree order consisting of a side, orange chicken, green bean chicken, and broccoli beef. The orange chicken's mostly round shape and crispy outer crust make it a terrible choice for the ISC because of its inability to conform to the shape of the box. Exhibit A.

    There are two possible outcomes with the green bean chicken depending on scooping technique. If the employee tries to flip the scoop from directly above the ISC the green beans will create a bed across the top that the employee will have to mash in with the spoon. The green beans bend to a U shape and the chicken mostly rests on top leaving wasted space on the bottom of the ISC. Exhibit B If the employee instead rests the scoop along the edge of the ISC and allows the green bean chicken to slide in, then we get a different result. The chicken almost invariably settles at the bottom and creates a sort of foundation for separated, vertical green beans to rest in. This leaves a lot of space between each individual bean. Exhibit C

    Now consider the broccoli beef. The malleability of both the broccoli and the beef afford it the highest ability to conform to the shape of its container, but the most important factor here is the method of service. Tongs. The tongs allow for precision placement of food into every cubic inch of the box because they can actually reach into it, this makes them infinitely superior to the scoop. Additionally the ability to pick up as little as one piece of beef or broccoli with relative ease increases the likelihood that your server will place that one last piece into your ISC whereas they might have said "fuck it" with scoop in hand.Exhibit D

    It is clear that in this case we must choose the broccoli beef for our ISC item.

     
    Comments
      
      PLOL: Panda is disgusting, but this is great content
      
      bukowski72: Spends too much of El Gallo's money at Woodfield trying to get MORE BEEF instead of working or picking up newly divorced MILF's
      
      jsearles22: 0% chance your mongloid brain wrote that

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    Diamond chinamaniac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DRK Star View Post
    There are some other quite obvious ways of increasing the amount of food you receive at Panda Express, such as always asking for your meal in the to-go container instead of the dine in plate. But I want to talk about something a bit more technical.

    When you order a meal from Panda with more than two entrees, the first two entrees will be included in the Primary Container (PC) along with your side and any subsequent entrees will be put into their own Individual Secondary Containers (ISC's). I argue that there is both strategy and value in determining which of your entrees is received in an ISC.

    The strategy is simple. When placing your order, quickly say the names of the two entrees you want in the PC and stall until they are actually in the PC, then tell the employee the rest of your order. Failure to do this will result in entrees being served in order of increasing distance from the starting location.

    Now let's talk value. We want to maximize the amount of food received and this can vary widely depending on the item placed in the ISC. This variance is caused by the item's ability or inability to conform to the shape of it's container, the method used to place the item in the container, and the instrument used to serve the item.

    I will illustrate with an example. Suppose I have a 3-entree order consisting of a side, orange chicken, green bean chicken, and broccoli beef. The orange chicken's mostly round shape and crispy outer crust make it a terrible choice for the ISC because of its inability to conform to the shape of the box. Exhibit A.

    There are two possible outcomes with the green bean chicken depending on scooping technique. If the employee tries to flip the scoop from directly above the ISC the green beans will create a bed across the top that the employee will have to mash in with the spoon. The green beans bend to a U shape and the chicken mostly rests on top leaving wasted space on the bottom of the ISC. Exhibit B If the employee instead rests the scoop along the edge of the ISC and allows the green bean chicken to slide in, then we get a different result. The chicken almost invariably settles at the bottom and creates a sort of foundation for separated, vertical green beans to rest in. This leaves a lot of space between each individual bean. Exhibit C

    Now consider the broccoli beef. The malleability of both the broccoli and the beef afford it the highest ability to conform to the shape of its container, but the most important factor here is the method of service. Tongs. The tongs allow for precision placement of food into every cubic inch of the box because they can actually reach into it, this makes them infinitely superior to the scoop. Additionally the ability to pick up as little as one piece of beef or broccoli with relative ease increases the likelihood that your server will place that one last piece into your ISC whereas they might have said "fuck it" with scoop in hand.Exhibit D

    It is clear that in this case we must choose the broccoli beef for our ISC item.
    I dont eat at panda but

    :HOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF post

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    Diamond chinamaniac's Avatar
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    How Chipotle loses Millions

    I think I have mentioned this one before. Order a bowl to go with x meat and the scooper always says "this will cost extra" which is fine and they mark it with xtra meat. They win

    Order a bowl for here and the scooper always says "this will cost extra" but there is no cover to mark the extra meat so 90 % of the time the place is busy and they just pass it along and they ring up a regular bowl price. You win

    Also at least 2 or 3 times I have been in there and got my order and just started to eat and someone I am with says "lets get some chips". I walk up to the counter to ask for chips and they say no charge. I think this is due to the processor charges and the company prob tells them to just give those away.

    I used to live about an hour from where I do now and when I was in the middle of losing 80 lbs my diet was Chipotle about 10 meals a week with just the healthy stuff in my bowls. The manager guy just started giving me free food every time I went in no matter how big my orders were. I went back there 2 times in the past 2 years and the guy still doesn't charge me.

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    Platinum DirtyB's Avatar
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      WillieMcFML: reddit copy & paste was my first guess
      
      Walter Sobchak: Busted
      
      ::o: gethim
      
      DRK Star: never claimed it was mine, and who the fuck would research that?...

  5. #5
    Diamond Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyB View Post
    Busted! Pretty funny that a Panda manager came to answer the post.

    Panda sucks BTW. So fucking greasy and gloopy. Except I know a dude from China who loves it.

    SOBCHAK SECURITY 213-799-7798

    PRESIDENT JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., THE GREAT AND POWERFUL

  6. #6
    Platinum DirtyB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyB View Post
    Busted! Pretty funny that a Panda manager came to answer the post.

    Panda sucks BTW. So fucking greasy and gloopy. Except I know a dude from China who loves it.
    Every year or so I will crave Panda Express, eat it, and then remember why I haven't eaten Panda Express in a year.

    I actually didn't read that reddit post before DRK's here. But I recognized it from a series of posts by a "former fat guy". The first one was about getting maximum meat out of Chipotle. Someone reported trying it and the employee responded "you're the fourth person today who saw that on reddit".

  7. #7
    Platinum Jayjami's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyB View Post

    Every year or so I will crave Panda Express, eat it, and then remember why I haven't eaten Panda Express in a year.
    I had the same problem when I was younger, except with cocaine. I'd get a craving about once every 5 years. After one night of feeing like hell coming down from the high, I would realize, oh yeah, now I remember why I hate cocaine.

  8. #8
    Serial Blogger BeerAndPoker's Avatar
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  9. #9
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    When youre basically dropping strategy posts for getting extra fast food something is wrong or you're incredibly american

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewfather View Post
    When youre basically dropping strategy posts for getting extra fast food something is wrong or you're incredibly american
    It's usually both.

    if you're a jew they call it a trifecta

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