Husband makes spreadsheet about wife refusing sex 25 out of 28 times, e-mails to her, she posts it on Reddit

[Dan Druff]

For some reason she went and posted it on Reddit (image of spreadsheet now removed):

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship...6_an_immature/

Not 100% sure this is real, but I guess it's believable.

If it is real, I think what the guy did is brilliant. I think her post to Reddit was stupid.

I am seeing comments like, "Why didn't he just talk about it with her, rather than send this obnoxious spreadsheet?", but I can 100% guarantee that the dude brought it up to her several times and she just dismissed him. Guys don't just say nothing about a lack of sex and then flip out and make spreadsheets.

My guess is that she was downplaying how often she was saying no whenever they argued about it, so he documented it and presented her with the proof.

What's funny is that they're both 26, so imagine what a disaster their sex life will be in about 20 years, if by some fluke they remain married that long.

[Dan Druff]

Also she got destroyed on Reddit. Everyone pretty much said the same thing as I said above (and I didn't read that stuff until after I made the post), so it's pretty obvious.

[garrett]

Guy is creepy and she wants a divorce is my read

[devidee]

Guy is married and had sex three times in a six week timeframe?

HERO.

[4Dragons]

I think it's funny that they are both internet trolls and he went full MS Word on her ass and she thought posting it would make her look good. She'll be laughing her ass off when he gives her the clap.

[BeerAndPoker]

She's getting the D from somewhere else is a possibility but she could just have issues with either her vagina or this guy himself that he isn't revealing and/or not finding out what they are.

While keeping the spreadsheet might seem brilliant to some allowing her to get a copy so she can go post it on the internet is retarded on this guys part, however, at the same time makes her look like a prude bitch.

[Dan Druff]

Guy is creepy and she wants a divorce is my read

How is the guy being creepy? She was the one who posted it on Reddit, not him.

Provided this isn't all fabricated (which is a great media-troll if it was), the guy very likely tried to talk about it with her on several occasions, only to get rebuffed with "You're exaggerating" or "I say no a few times, but we have sex plenty". So the guy, knowing she was full of shit, documented it over a 7-week period and proved that she rejected sex 25 out of 28 times. And he has every right to complain about that. That spreadsheet was the only way to prove his point.

[4Dragons]

She's getting the D from somewhere else is a possibility but she could just have issues with either her vagina or this guy himself that he isn't revealing and/or not finding out what they are.

While keeping the spreadsheet might seem brilliant to some allowing her to get a copy so she can go post it on the internet is retarded on this guys part, however, at the same time makes her look like a prude bitch.

Actually him suffering with this ho silently and then giving her a spreadsheet on this, then her posting it tells me that he has a bigger vagina than she does.

[SrslySirius]

Guys don't just say nothing about a lack of sex and then flip out and make spreadsheets.

Of course some people do this, it's a very common reason that relationships fail. Instead of talking about their problems, they quietly resent each other until things boil over.

Who knows if this guy was communicating or not. Either way, I love the spreadsheet. If the wife tries to downplay the lack of sex and lame excuses, BOOM there's the proof. Perhaps it could be useful in a divorce. Sometimes it's just nice to keep track of things, like damn this dry spell is worse than I thought, I'm batting .184 year to date. Maybe I'm just a nerd though.

[4Dragons]

Guys don't just say nothing about a lack of sex and then flip out and make spreadsheets.

Of course some people do this, it's a very common reason that relationships fail. Instead of talking about their problems, they quietly resent each other until things boil over.

Who knows if this guy was communicating or not. Either way, I love the spreadsheet. If the wife tries to downplay the lack of sex and lame excuses, BOOM there's the proof. Perhaps it could be useful in a divorce. Sometimes it's just nice to keep track of things, like damn this dry spell is worse than I thought, I'm batting .184 year to date. Maybe I'm just a nerd though.

He should tell her that if the spreadsheet reaches 50 i'm banging your sister.

[SrslySirius]

He should tell her that if the spreadsheet reaches 50 i'm banging your sister.

:druffbutfair

Even assuming the guy was brooding, never said a word about his malcontent, and the wife indeed had a super busy lifestyle and/or a generally low libido... you can't lay all the blame on the guy for being immature and dismiss the enormous problem of a sexless marriage. That sounds fucking miserable, and I vow to never tolerate that circumstance. This subreddit, which is basically a support group for people going through that very problem, makes for very sad reading.

[4Dragons]

He should tell her that if the spreadsheet reaches 50 i'm banging your sister.

:druffbutfair

Even assuming the guy was brooding, never said a word about his malcontent, and the wife indeed had a super busy lifestyle and/or a generally low libido... you can't lay all the blame on the guy for being immature and dismiss the enormous problem of a sexless marriage. That sounds fucking miserable, and I vow to never tolerate that circumstance. This subreddit, which is basically a support group for people going through that very problem, makes for very sad reading.

I think the point we're all missing is that he fucked her till she was sore on one occasion (line item 8), so there's that.

[Dan Druff]

I don't think this was immature at all UNLESS he had never brought up the subject before, which is unlikely.

If she was denying the severity of the issue, what else could he do?

He says, "You are always saying no, and we're hardly having sex."

She says, "No, we have sex plenty, and I only say no sometimes when I am feeling excessively tired or sick."

Where does he go from here? He has one perception, she has another. The only way out of this is to prove that his assertion is correct, and thus the spreadsheet.

Posting the spreadsheet in public (such as on his Facebook) would have been incredibly immature, but in this case he e-mailed it to her, presumably for her eyes only.

I have no sympathy for married guys who lament the fact that they are stuck with one woman their entire life, or that they wish they could still have sex with younger/hotter chicks than their wife. That's what you sign up for when you get married, and it's not fair to her that you want to fuck around with other chicks just because you get bored of being with the same person after awhile. If that's how you feel about monogamy, you shouldn't get married.

However, I do have sympathy for married guys who essentially get shut out of sex because their wife just doesn't feel like doing it anymore. That's not fair to the guy, and indeed not what he signed up for when they got married. Indeed, if a girl told you, "I'm going to have sex with you regularly now, but within a few years, you'll be getting it about once every 3 weeks", you would almost surely run the other way. When a woman marries a guy, she is pretty much agreeing to have sex with him regularly, at least within reason. What many women don't understand is that most men's sex drives don't die down very much, and that it's unfair to expect that your partner should mostly live without sex just because you can. Again, women like this simply shouldn't get married, or they should find a guy who also doesn't care much about sex (there are guys like this out there).

The big problem occurs because men and women typically have sex for different reasons. Men's primary drive is just because they are horny and love sex itself, while women often want sex because of the excitement or new-bonding aspect of the relationship. So while a woman may legitimately be totally into you and want to bang 4 times per day for the first year or so, this will often die out once she's been with you awhile, and no longer "caught up in the moment". And this leaves guys confused, because they'll get married, the sex will die down quickly, and they won't be able to figure out why the horny girl they were first with a few years ago is now such a cold fish.

It doesn't mean she's getting dick on the side. That's a myth mostly spread by porn, where the lonely housewife wants the pool guy with the 10 inch dick because her husband can't satisfy her. In reality, most women who cheat do so because they feel the relationship itself is lacking, not the sex. There is a subset of women who cheat for some sort of weird self-esteem boost, and even others who truly are just unfaithful sluts and honestly do want some new sexual excitement. But those are in the minority.

When I used to go in chat rooms, I ran into a ton of women who were married and looking to cheat on their husbands. But the reasons were almost never, "He's not satisfying me" or "The sex isn't good." It was always something like, "He's abusive", "He ignores me", "He doesn't appreciate me", "He just wants to have sex but never intimacy beyond that", "He works all the time and is never home", etc.

In this case, the girl seems to be in the "no longer into sex once the new relationship excitement has died down" category, and therefore sex has hit the bottom on her priority list, as seen by the spreadsheet. Basically, if there's not a perfect storm of circumstances where she has no reason to say no, she will find a reason, however flimsy. When a rerun of Friends is more important than having sex with your husband, you know the marriage has hit the skids.

I actually believe this is real because the woman's responses in the Reddit thread are very typical.

"You have to expect the intimacy to decrease after awhile."

"We're both very busy, and the sex will increase again when we're not so busy."

"I've just been really tired lately."

If this was a level for attention, bravo to whomever engineered it, as usually these internet hoaxes are fairly transparent, and this one definitely has a "real" vibe to me IMO.

[WillieMcFML]

she's fucking someone at the gym

/thread

[zealanddonk]

Awaiting Fluffer's analysis.

[Dan Druff]

she's fucking someone at the gym

/thread

If she was fucking someone at the gym, she wouldn't act this way.

Her post on Reddit screams, "OMG this is totally normal in a marriage, look what my husband has the nerve to be complaining about."

If she were fucking around on the side, she would have some degree of guilt (or at least awareness) that she is hardly fucking her husband anymore, and wouldn't have this outrage.

[Dan Druff]

Awaiting Fluffer's analysis.

This is the reason why I never get married, even though so many women at the gym beg me to marry them because of my square jaw and 8 1/4" penis.

 

And I'd miss having sex with Asian boys too much.

 

And she'd probably eventually catch me wearing her dress, and the whole thing would be awkward.

 

*giggling*

[fluffer]

Druff, can you blame her?

Maybe he is out of shape and she is utterly disgusted by him

Let's not forget that the guy is probably balding too

So let us not be too hard on this poor woman

Oh, he is also probably one these socially awkward guys who spends an inordinate time on his alternate world... the forums

Just saying , otherwise the woman is a fuckin bitch, ok

[Pooh]

Druff,

This was you wasn't it?

[Belly Buster]

Druff,

This was you wasn't it?

Definitely not Druff. A computer scientist would use 1 and 0 instead of Yes and No, to more easily calculate the averages, standard deviations etc.