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Thread: Jokes you like post them here

  1. #1
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Jokes you like post them here

    See what I did there with the title


    A man walks into a Dentist's office and says, "Doc you gotta help me, I think I'm a moth."

    "A moth?" replies the dentist. "Well that's nothing I can help you with, you clearly need a psychiatrist"

    "Oh I have one" the man replies.

    "Then why did you come in here?"

     
    Because the light was on

     
    Comments
      
      SysOp:
      
      splitthis:
    I LOVE ME SOME DONUTS

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, Christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  2. #2
    What is the difference between a G-spot and a Golf ball?



    A guy will actually search for a Golf ball.

     
    Comments
      
      splitthis: Maybe thats why married men dont have sex

  3. #3
    Micon has more money than Druff

     
    Comments
      
      duped_samaritan: winner

  4. #4
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <uu<uuuuuuuuuu <uuu <uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <uuuuuuuuuu <ckk (kkkk ((kkk (kkkkkkkkkkkk
    Take me down to the Parvati City where the reps are green and the girls are pretty. Take me home.

    STILL the most posts deleted. STILL the FBI is harassing me. STILL double the reputation of any poster. STILL quadruple the rep/post ratio of any poster. STILL BGC.

  5. #5
    Gold duped_samaritan's Avatar
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    A pretty jewish girl asked me for my number.

    I told her we use names here.

     
    Comments
      
      Brittney Griner's Clit: Oh my fucking god

  6. #6
    I have a new knock knock joke. You start.

  7. #7
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    Hello

    My joke is Dan Druff talking Crypto in 2018.

    Who's listening?

    LPT

     
    Comments
      
      duped_samaritan: At least he isn't talking Micon or Uber

  8. #8
    Gold Kuntmissioner's Avatar
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    A priest, a rabbi and a monk are on a boat that has just capsized. The monk yells, "We must save the children!" The rabbi replies, "Fuck the children!" Then the priest asks, "Do we have time?"


    A priest, a rabbi and a monk are on a boat that has just capsized. The monk yells, "We must save the children!" The priest replies, "Screw the children!" Then the rabbi asks, "Out of what?"

  9. #9
    All Sorts of Sports gut's Avatar
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    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.

     
    Comments
      
      Sheesfaced: lol
      
      SysOp: fucking amazing
      
      limitles: fine, may jokes if you like
      
      splitthis: Lol
      
      SchoenfeldsJawMuscles:
      
      Tellafriend: Obv
      
      jacosta24:

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by gut View Post
    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.



  11. #11
    Old man walking into the forest late at night with a little girl.

    Girl looks up at man and says, "Mr., I'm scared."

    The man looks down at her and replies, "You're scared? I have to walk out of there by myself!"

  12. #12
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    A young woman engaged to be married is very nervous about the wedding night and goes to her mother.

    Mother, what am I do to, I’m so big down there when Harry finds out he’s going to divorce me.
    The mother says, “Don’t worry sweetheart in runs in the family do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there and he’ll never notice the difference.

    She takes her mother’s advice and on their wedding night they have eight hours of sex.
    When she wakes it’s ten a.m., he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow.

    It says,

    My darling Harriet. To think I waited a year to consummate our relationship makes my heart beat
    so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up. The only reason I didn’t wake you up my sweetheart is
    the sun was shining through the window on your golden face and you were like a pot of gold at the
    end of my love rainbow.
    The only reason I’m not here now my darling is I have to work to make enough money to buy you a
    house with a white picket fence where our children and dogs will play.
    When the five o’clock dinner bell rings I’ll rush home to again hold you in my arms
    Your loving husband Harry

    P.S.

     
    Your cunt is in the sink
    Last edited by limitles; 05-03-2018 at 06:08 PM.
    I LOVE ME SOME DONUTS

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, Christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  13. #13
    Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying?

     
    mid-life crisis

  14. #14
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gut View Post
    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.
    cont.


    Limitles: That was too easy. Someone get that noose over to the library, females are always more of a challenge.

    Sheboon: OMFG dude who are you?
    Take me down to the Parvati City where the reps are green and the girls are pretty. Take me home.

    STILL the most posts deleted. STILL the FBI is harassing me. STILL double the reputation of any poster. STILL quadruple the rep/post ratio of any poster. STILL BGC.

  15. #15
    What is the first symptom of AIDS

     
    a pounding sensation in the ass

     
    Comments
      
      duped_samaritan:
    I smoke color purple
    I'm up in here feeling like silly
    Nappy ass dreads, what's that you say?
    Watch your mouth, Milli Vanilli
    You can get snaked, you can get faked
    I'll buy the bitch that you feeling
    'Cause you thought that she was an angel
    That bitch ain't no angel, I treat her halo like a Frisbee

  16. #16
    belly buster/wigganer is this true?

    It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’


    “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably shit.”
    Last edited by Baron Von Strucker; 05-03-2018 at 07:25 PM.
    all hail Hydra



    Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by michael View Post
    Old man walking into the forest late at night with a little girl.

    Girl looks up at man and says, "Mr., I'm scared."

    The man looks down at her and replies, "You're scared? I have to walk out of there by myself!"
    This was one of my favorites that I completely forgot about.

    Thanks.

     
    Comments
      
      michael: fo sho
    I smoke color purple
    I'm up in here feeling like silly
    Nappy ass dreads, what's that you say?
    Watch your mouth, Milli Vanilli
    You can get snaked, you can get faked
    I'll buy the bitch that you feeling
    'Cause you thought that she was an angel
    That bitch ain't no angel, I treat her halo like a Frisbee

  18. #18
    Gold splitthis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by verminaard View Post
    What is the first symptom of AIDS

     
    a pounding sensation in the ass

    My sides

     
    Comments
      
      Brittney Griner's Clit: Don't know if that's your reaction or if that's what u felt rep

  19. #19
    I smoke color purple
    I'm up in here feeling like silly
    Nappy ass dreads, what's that you say?
    Watch your mouth, Milli Vanilli
    You can get snaked, you can get faked
    I'll buy the bitch that you feeling
    'Cause you thought that she was an angel
    That bitch ain't no angel, I treat her halo like a Frisbee

  20. #20
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    How do you make a young Kilgore Trout cry twice?


    Wipe your bloody dick all over her Jesse Owens poster.
    Take me down to the Parvati City where the reps are green and the girls are pretty. Take me home.

    STILL the most posts deleted. STILL the FBI is harassing me. STILL double the reputation of any poster. STILL quadruple the rep/post ratio of any poster. STILL BGC.

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