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Thread: mulva's attempt to take normal poos before WSOP

  1. #21
    Mulva you are a high risk if you look like this


  2. #22
    I would wait for three more pages of opinions, and pick one blindfolded from that...
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  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Spookygook View Post
    Magnesium citrate

    Drink it

    Get a colonoscopy. The Dr wears gloves
    This. Magnesium citrate will have you shitting out things that you ate 3 years ago that have been stuck to the wall of your colon. Also, do go see a doctor. I think that it is possible to bleed to death internally from a perforated colon.

  4. #24
    Keep up the increased water intake. Doesn't sound like a real scary issue if you don't have pain other than the discomfort of constipation.

    Still, go get a colonoscopy quick. They give you twilight sedation, so you're sedated to a point that onestep and his boys could run a train on you and you wouldn't care.

    It sounds like garden variety IBS, but on the off chance it's something serious, you're going to deeply regret letting it go for long. I've read "well I always had a bad stomach so I didn't think much of it" written by some people who let stuff go too long without checking it out.

     
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      vegas1369: Onestep running a train rep

  5. #25
    Puts His Dick in the Mashed Potatoes
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    It's pretty obvious your shitting issues are just a byproduct of having jimmy shove his dick down your ass in the kaepernick thread. Give your bowels a week or two to heal and you'll be fine.

     
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      vegas1369: lol
      
      Muck Ficon: LOL HOF

  6. #26
    Puts His Dick in the Mashed Potatoes
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    Kidding aside. Go to trader joes and buy this. I used it when I was on pain meds for awhile after surgery and it worked like a charm. Kicks the shit outta metamucil.


  7. #27

    Cool

    get some high fiber oatmeal and eat 2-3 packets a day....IT WILL WORk.....even works for vicodin and oxy constipation.... someone told me (*_*)

  8. #28
    Photoballer 4Dragons's Avatar
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    How the hell has Sonny not posted in this thread?

     
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      4BET: no fuck u

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by mulva View Post
    all my life i've had a sensitive stomach, and never had any problems not being able to shit. i usually had to go all the time. but within the past 6 months i haven't been eating as much, or let me say over eating. i'm eating less, digesting less and slower, i think.

    when i do take a shit my stool comes out very thick and sticky like hash consistency or little pooballs stuck to other little poo balls forming a 5 bar babie ruth poop.....and i can barely get it out of my rectum..i really thought about going to the hospital because of the pressure build up..,,i would go so far to say that it's like a grenade when it come out. very heavy. but i do appreciate the splash up.

    i use to complain about having to take a shit after eating almost every meal, now that doesn't happen..but i wish it did.

    i took some laxative the other day and i farted coming home, but i actually shit myself w/ that fart..

    i'm worried that this is a serious condition..i read up on it and it basically told me to eat all natural stuff, heavy fruits and vegs...avoid caffiene and artificial sugars....

    maybe i just need to eat more greasy food
    this really made me giggle

    make the most of your situation, ok

     
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      Hockey Guy: Zero chance I'm clicking that link.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pooh View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by mulva View Post

    fuck...maybe i need to go see a very smart, hot women dr for this.

    i pushed so hard to get my shit out the other day it stated to bleed because it was ripping my skin apart..i ended up taking a laxative on the toilet and sitting there for over an hour...i even tried reaching up there are grabbing some of it to get it out....horrible experience on every level. the problem i had made me wish i had some undercooked chicken to eat
    lol. This must be a level.
    pooh, its best you dont post in this thread, ok

  11. #31
    Diamond Walter Sobchak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LEVEL ACCOUNT View Post
    get some high fiber oatmeal and eat 2-3 packets a day....IT WILL WORk.....even works for vicodin and oxy constipation.... someone told me (*_*)
    The more fiber you eat the more water you need, so don't forget the water.

    Also sweeten your oatmeal with a little lactulose, you need a prescription for that though.

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  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by mulva View Post
    all my life i've had a sensitive stomach, and never had any problems not being able to shit. i usually had to go all the time. but within the past 6 months i haven't been eating as much, or let me say over eating. i'm eating less, digesting less and slower, i think.

    when i do take a shit my stool comes out very thick and sticky like hash consistency or little pooballs stuck to other little poo balls forming a 5 bar babie ruth poop.....and i can barely get it out of my rectum..i really thought about going to the hospital because of the pressure build up..,,i would go so far to say that it's like a grenade when it come out. very heavy. but i do appreciate the splash up.

    i use to complain about having to take a shit after eating almost every meal, now that doesn't happen..but i wish it did.

    i took some laxative the other day and i farted coming home, but i actually shit myself w/ that fart..

    i'm worried that this is a serious condition..i read up on it and it basically told me to eat all natural stuff, heavy fruits and vegs...avoid caffiene and artificial sugars....

    maybe i just need to eat more greasy food
    I started juicing in august and my stomach has been great ever since. I've had issues with my stomach similar to yours for about 5 years now but since the juicing my shits have been regular and quite pleasant. dr oz's green drink is the juice recipe I use( it tastes amazing) imo you should try juicing and/or change your diet before letting some hebe stick shit up your ass. here is a link to the juice recipe


    http://juicerecipes.com/recipes/dr-ozs-green-drink-47

     
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  13. #33
    Diamond mulva's Avatar
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    will have to try some of that egyptian incense and myrrh concoction. thing is, everything from trader joe's makes me sick,,dunno, why...

    ditto on juice. last juice i drank was ocean spray diet blueberry/pomegranate.

    from what i've been reading, this add more fiber thing to help poop is incorrect.

     
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      LegalizeMeth: trader joes is god

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by mulva View Post
    will have to try some of that egyptian incense and myrrh concoction. thing is, everything from trader joe's makes me sick,,dunno, why...

    ditto on juice. last juice i drank was ocean spray diet blueberry/pomegranate.

    from what i've been reading, this add more fiber thing to help poop is incorrect.
    im afraid probably you have

     
    stomach cancer


    ok

  15. #35
    Diamond mulva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fluffer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by mulva View Post
    will have to try some of that egyptian incense and myrrh concoction. thing is, everything from trader joe's makes me sick,,dunno, why...

    ditto on juice. last juice i drank was ocean spray diet blueberry/pomegranate.

    from what i've been reading, this add more fiber thing to help poop is incorrect.
    im afraid probably you have

     
    stomach cancer


    ok
    well,..i can rule out pancreatic cancer. if i had that i would have a soft stool.

  16. #36
    Puts His Dick in the Mashed Potatoes
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    Don't worry mulva...if it turns out that you have super butt aids I will make sure to bump the kaepernick thread every time he shits the bed (which will be every other regular season week plus every nfc championship game for the next four years).

  17. #37
    Mulva---insoluble fiber is lacking in your diet...add that to soften your stool....oatmeal cereal or bran (Cheerios or Rasin Bran) AND nuts (especially Almonds--cashews & peanuts are good too but high in cholesterol)

    Just about 3/4ths of men over 50 have some sort of internal hemorrhoids (so my doctor tells me) and painful shits come with age if you aren't eating right (personal experience)
    (long before there was a PFA i had my Grenade & Crossbones avatar at DD)

  18. #38
    Here's something I learned in college......you want to shit, drink a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best and eat some Buffalo Wild Wings. You'll spend all day on the toilet.

     
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      BeerAndPoker: agreed. +1
      
      big dick: Milwaukee's Best is def one of the better shit beers
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  19. #39
    Serial Blogger BeerAndPoker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muck Ficon View Post
    Here's something I learned in college......you want to shit, drink a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best and eat some Buffalo Wild Wings. You'll spend all day on the toilet.
    Worst shits of my life came from my young days when I had drank Milwaukee's Best or what I prefer to call it The Beast. It's way worse on tap too. I remember this one bar on college night this shit beer was $1.50 a pitcher and the next day after a few of those I felt very dizzy, had a case of the brown water shits, and had more gas then Exxon Mobil.

     
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      Muck Ficon: The beast!!!!

  20. #40
    Platinum splitthis's Avatar
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    if you are not having abdominal pain it is probably not diverticulosis. with diverticulitis you would have pain and a fever. you need to see a doc. they need to check your stool for blood and a colonoscopy is in order. any change in bowel habits is a concern.

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