Milton Berle:
“He says to me: ‘You mean you never saw it?’ I said, ‘Uh, no, I don’t believe I did.’ Then he said, ‘Well, would you like to?’ And before I had a chance to say, ‘Not really’ or ‘Can I think about it?’ or whatever, he parts his bathrobe and he just takes out this – this anaconda. He lays it on the table and I’m looking into this thing, right? I’m looking into the head of Milton Berle’s dick. It was enormous. It was like a pepperoni. And he goes, ‘What do you think of the boy?’ And I’m looking right at it and I go, ‘Oh, it’s really, really nice.’” – Author Alan Zweibel
Liam Neeson
“He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out. It was insane! Wouldn’t you just go gaga? He was amazing!” – Ex-girlfriend Janice Dickinson
Steve McQueen
''His dong was “like two Coors beer cans welded together.” – An Ex-Lover
WILLEM DAFOE
Willem Dafoe is widely rumored to be the owner of Hollywood’s largest package. And while shooting his latest film, “Antichrist,” director Lars Von Trier found out for himself. The film called for Dafoe to hack off his own member, but when it came time to shoot the scene, Von Trier decided to use a dick double. Not because he wanted to keep ladies from getting too excited, but because Defoe’s penis is so large “everybody got very confused when they saw it.”
Steve Cochran
Husky, hirsute, darkly handsome Steve Cochran was all man -- and a slick ladies' guy to boot. They didn't come much rougher and tougher than he both off- and on-camera. Throughout post-WWII Hollywood and the 1950s, he played the swarthiest and sexiest of coldhearted villains, with mustache or without, in a few films now considered classics. What Cochran perhaps lacked in the Gable charisma department, he certainly made up for with his own raw magnetism and sexy virility -- though it wasn't enough for him to attain all-out superstardom. Perhaps a few too many oily heavies and shady heroes for audiences to really warm up to was the key problem. And with his womanizing reputation preceding him (Mimi Van Doran, among others), the tabloids could not have dreamed up a more salacious and mysterious ending for this cinematic bad boy in 1965 than amid a sea of lovely ladies! Off of Equador.
Following is a listing of those who pack it and those that don't. And in our next post we'll discuss, ''The Hollywood women who worshiped big wankers.''
First Stringers
Woody Harrelson
Willem Dafoe
Wesley Snipes
Warren Beatty
Tom Jones
Steve Martin
Samuel Jackson
Robert Wagner
Robert Redford
Sean Penn
Patrick Stewart
Nicholas Cage
Matt Dillon
Lyle Lovett
Liam Neeson
Kiefer Sutherland
John Schneider
James Caan
Jack Nicholson
George Clooney
Ewan McGregor
Eddie Murphy
Don Johnson
Dolph Lundgren
David Letterman
David Cassidy
Colin Farrell
Bruce Willis
Bob Newhart
And here is a list of stars who do not have it where it counts:
Bench Warmers
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brad Pitt
Conan O'Brian
David Spade
John Bon Jovi
Lawrence Taylor
Mark McGrath
Martin Lawrence
Michael Jordan
Michael J. Fox
Paul Newman
Puff Daddy
Sylvester Stallone
Tiger Woods
Tom Cruise
Tom Hanks
Val Kilmer
And the all time names:
Big: Milton Berle
Small: John Wayne. BTW Claudette Colbert said John Wayne had the worst breath ever!
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