Ho Lee Fucking Shit.....
Everything you are about to read is the gospel truth. This story will gain momentum and exaggeration as it is retold over the years, but this post will serve as a reminder of the truth. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.
We'll start at the beginning. My daughter (Tina) was assaulted at school today by a bully and ended up giving out a bit of an ass whipping. The bully was subsequently arrested and Tina is blowing up as the savior to the bullied and a veritable Joan of Arc in our little backwater suburban burg.
A little backstory on Tina. She is a high school senior who just celebrated her 18th birthday (watch it Gare), and she is a beautiful, confident, member of the honor society, well-adjusted young lady who has been accepted to Western Washington in the fall and carries a 3.7 GPA. She doesn't drink, do drugs, nor is she a goody two shoes. She’s not an athlete like her brother, she goes to rock concerts instead. She has also never been in a physical altercation in her life.
She's the real fucking deal.
Rewind to two days ago.
She informs her mother and me that she’s in a beef with another chick (Irene) who was bullying a friend of hers. I knew where this was headed and expressed my concern. Tina had the strength of her convictions, and informed me that if people stood up to bullies more often then bullying would lessen. It was hard to argue this but still I was concerned. I was proud of my daughter but I didn’t want her to end up as a martyr for the anti-bullying movement.
Most of the beef occurred on twitter, etc., but yesterday it escalated and Tina was being threatened continually and cursed as a coward because she wouldn’t fight Irene. Irene would see her in the halls and shout “scared ass bitch” over and over again.
Tina and I discussed this yesterday, and frankly my radar was going off the charts and I knew in my bones that this situation was coming to a head and wouldn’t be resolved without resolution if you catch my drift.
We had a serious discussion last night, and I told her two things.
• This situation wasn’t going away and she would likely have to stand tall. She was going to have to call the bully on her bullshit and see what was what. I gave her a few ideas of things to say and hoped she wouldn’t have to use them.
• If the shit went down, which I suspected it would, Tina would have to be ready. She likely wouldn’t see Irene coming, and if she did then she needed to be prepared for Irene to go for her hair and face.
I told her to go with an open hand jab with the webbing between her thumb and index finger to the throat, or go with a palm thrust directly to the nose. Either would minimize the potential injury to Tina and maximize the probability of Irene releasing her hold.
I had no idea how prescient I would be.
So this morning Tina is working the blood drive, Irene walks by the table and starts in with the “scared ass bitch” while walking briskly away backwards and emphasizing the syllables while making hand gestures left to right in a shimmy shake fashion.
So one of Tina’s friends insists at this point that Tina take this to the authorities so she heads for the office. She’s finishing her account when the principal comes in with Irene in toe. The principal shits when he sees Tina as he wasn’t expecting to have them both there at the same time, and the shit starts to hit the fan.
Irene sees Tina and starts in with the “scared ass bitch” shit again IN THE OFFICE. Tina, who has had her fill of this moron stands up, and with her whole 5’8” self and with the hands working shouts out..
“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?...ASSHOLE” FF to the 20 second mark.
So the bully is stunned by this, and she starts in with nonsense and the back and forth continues until Tina gets back to her report and the bully is escorted into a closed office.
The principal has the bully’s dad on speaker, Tina is handing in her official report of the situation and the bully makes her move. She blasts out of the principal’s office and attempts to jump/sucker punch Tina when she wasn’t expecting it.
Except Tina was expecting it, and saw bitch coming out of the corner of her eye and was ready. Bitch got some of Tina’s hair, but Tina realized pretty early that the bully’s heart really wasn't in it and this was mostly false bravado. Tina had taken the bully’s inventory early on in this debacle and her take ended up being correct. So the bully ended up biting off more than she could chew, and although seeing red, Tina had the wherewithal to remember what I had told her, and landed 4 hard palm thrusts to the bully's face.
She also delivered a very hard kick, but instead of landing on the bully’s knee as it was intended, it caught the principal square in the balls. This is the truth friends, my daughter kicked her principal square in the balls, or the “pills” as the guidance counselor later described it to me LOL.
In the meantime Tina’s friends heard the commotion and see the school cop “running like a gazelle”, holding his microphone and flashlight sprinting to the office. He gets there just as the shit went down and actually lifted Tina up and physically put her into a separate office. I’m grateful he did this, as he had Tina’s back and let everyone know that she was the victim in this situation and was not to be disciplined.
So the smoke cleared, the bully gets arrested and Tina is back at the blood drive 15 minutes later, rather nonplussed by the whole ordeal. She’s struttin her stuff tonight as we continue to review the events, and she deserves to.
The most impressive thing about this is that Tina was never afraid. Not two days ago, not yesterday, and not today. Never afraid. This is her first fight, and while our whole family is full of strong willed leaders, we’re not fighters, and I firmly believe that almost all altercations can be avoided.
But if they can’t, then you make damn sure it’s not you on the receiving end of a curb stomp.