How to win a "last longer" bet at cheesy poker event

[Texter]

Company Holden event where customers can win real cash (a few grand) but slob employees (me) can't. So we made a $20 per person last longer bet between 10 or so slobs.

Tourney is supposed to go a Few hours so the last longer is actually whomever has the most when the tourney ends gets the money.

So I'm thinking pure maniac style due to the finite end and winner take all...anyone have any advice other than that?

[4Dragons]

i'd nit it up and watch to see if your brethren decide to self destruct with your plan of chaos, and obv shove with a premium pair. I mean if you're the only one in the room who actually knows how to play the game, it may be over for your crew before you get to do a damn thing. If the blinds are punitive then i'd say auto shove to any raise by one of your coworkers and maybe just not engage customers unless you are prepared to shove with a premium pair. Pretty much I just wouldn't be playing flops at all, until you get really deep stacked.

[Texter]

Decided to play a lot of hands since several players had no clue how to play which generally leads to call station city. Scrubs got 10k in chips, customers got more based on some other things they competed in during the week (most had about 20k).

I'm in the 9 seat and the first hand the 1 seat is the button, blinds start at 100/200 and will go up every 20 minutes. Typical shitty tourney except that whomever has the biggest stack after 2 hours is the winner.

I get AQ and raise to 500 over 4 limpers, who all call...flop comes down 10 high, checked to me and I cbet 2k get one caller, next card is another 10, the other guy bets 2k and I fold.

Two hands later I get QJ, every hand of this tourney is torture since no one knows how to play, every person has to be told its their turn and what they can do (check or bet is said 20x per hand) they also tend to fold for no reason and turn their hand over when the hand is still going. Since spouses were brought on tHe trip and can win cash, they are also cheating by sharing bankrolls and looking at each others cards which doesn't bother me but makes another scrub so mad she quits.

So back to QJ, flop comes all hearts ace high I have the Jh and lose a little when the fourth heart comes and some guy has the Qh...didn't lose much but am mostly grateful for the open bar. They forget to raise the blinds but I don't care since I am on my fourth IPA and I'm getting crushed.

Very next hand I get A2 sooted and join the 6 limpers hoping to flop some potential monster, flop comes AT2 (sweet!) I have about 6k, someone bets 200 and I raise to 1k, everyone folds but some lady who calls. Next card is a J so she could have a straight but I doubt it, I bet another 1k stringing her a long like a dummy and of course a Q comes on the river. We check it down and I lose to KK .

So I'm drunk by now and down to like 3.5k and limp with presto ...miss and fold on the flop

Fold for the next 20 minutes of hell, "oh it's my turn", "what can I do", "I don't know what to do (shows hand to husband)....eventually jam with 99 for my last 2500 and mercifully lose to AK.

The end

Why such a long report for no reason, because we are having a garage sale right now and haggling over a quarter is even more ridiculous. "This says $10, will you take a quarter?" "No and get the fuck off my lawn I'd rather throw it away then sell it for that you cheap fuck"