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Thread: A poem for Fuck Vowels

  1. #1

    A poem for Fuck Vowels

    HEY FUCK VOEELS
    I WANNA FUCK YOUR BOWELS
    FOR YOU ILL WASG MA DICK AND DRY IT OFF WITH PAPER TOWELS
    AND THEN I WANT TO HUFF PAINT IN MY TREEHOUSE
    GLUE WOOD CHIPS TO MY DEFORMED DICK
    FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPENED EYES
    CUT MY NIPPLES OFF
    AND SHIT ON YOUR FAGGOT CHEST
    HEY6 FUCK VOWELS
    I WANNA FUCK YOUR BOWELS
    TAKE A POWER SANDER TO THE TIP OF MY DICK
    DICE MY CANCER RIDDEN TESTICLES WITH A BAND SAW
    EAT MY NIPPLES LIKE HAIRY PEPPERONI
    BURN MY DICKHOLE SHUT WITH A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
    REOPEN MY DICKHOLE WITH ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU PUT IN CORN ONTHR COB TO HOLD IT
    POWER SAND MY DICK AGAIN
    TAKE A MOUSETRAP AND PUT SHIT WHERE TGE CHEESE GOES
    INTENTIONALLY EAT THE SHIT AND HAVE MY LIPS CUT OFF
    FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPEN EYES
    SUCK OFF A TOMCAT
    AND LICK A TURTLES BUTTHOLE

  2. #2
    And this poem is for six toed Pete:

    HET SIX TOED PETE
    I THINK THAT YOURE NEAT
    I WANT TO GLUE SEVERED DICKS TO YOUR FEET
    AND LET YOU WALK ALL OVER ME!

  3. #3
    This poem misfortune Dan drift:

    HEY HEY DAN
    YOU'RE THE MAN
    IHOPE YOULL UNDERSTAND WHEN I CUT OFF MY HAND
    FREEZE IT INTO A FIST
    SHOVE IT UP A POLAR BEARS ASS
    STOP THE BLEEDING BY HOLDING IT IN A FIRE
    GLUE TINY CAT PENISES TO THE POLAR BEARS PENIS LIKE LITTLE PENIS BRANCHES
    SUCK THR PENISES
    FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTK NY OPENED EYES
    CUT OFF MY DICK
    FREEZE MA DICK
    REATTACH MY DICK BETWEEN MY ASS CHEEKS
    GLUE CAT DICKS TO MY DICK
    FUCK MYSELF IN THE ASS WITH IT
    CYT MY OTHER HAND OFF
    GLUE DOG DICKS TO FUCK VOWELS FEET
    AND LET YOU FISY FUCK HER WITG NY HAND
    WHILE I FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPEN ETES

  4. #4
    This poem is for betcheckbet

    BETCHECK BET
    YOUR MY BEST FRIEND YET
    IM GOING TO TAKE A CACTUS
    AND PUT CAT DICKS ON EACH LITTLE SPINE
    SU K EACH INDIVIDUAL CAT DICK
    THEN SIT ON THE CACTUS
    GET PREGNANT WITH A CACTUS CAT
    CALLED A CATCTUS
    PAINFULLY GIVE BIRTH TO IT OUT MU DICK
    SUCK ITS DICK
    AND FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPENED EYES

  5. #5
    Get Schwifty Ricky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buddy Jonathan Jacob View Post
    HEY FUCK VOEELS
    I WANNA FUCK YOUR BOWELS
    FOR YOU ILL WASG MA DICK AND DRY IT OFF WITH PAPER TOWELS
    AND THEN I WANT TO HUFF PAINT IN MY TREEHOUSE
    GLUE WOOD CHIPS TO MY DEFORMED DICK
    FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPENED EYES
    CUT MY NIPPLES OFF
    AND SHIT ON YOUR FAGGOT CHEST
    HEY6 FUCK VOWELS
    I WANNA FUCK YOUR BOWELS
    TAKE A POWER SANDER TO THE TIP OF MY DICK
    DICE MY CANCER RIDDEN TESTICLES WITH A BAND SAW
    EAT MY NIPPLES LIKE HAIRY PEPPERONI
    BURN MY DICKHOLE SHUT WITH A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
    REOPEN MY DICKHOLE WITH ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU PUT IN CORN ONTHR COB TO HOLD IT
    POWER SAND MY DICK AGAIN
    TAKE A MOUSETRAP AND PUT SHIT WHERE TGE CHEESE GOES
    INTENTIONALLY EAT THE SHIT AND HAVE MY LIPS CUT OFF
    FUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MY OPEN EYES
    SUCK OFF A TOMCAT
    AND LICK A TURTLES BUTTHOLE





  6. #6
    This poem is for one-step



    HRY ONE STEP
    I THINK YOURE NUMBER ONE STEP
    IM GONNA GLUE A CAT DICK TO A BIRD
    SUCK IT
    TRAIN IT TO USE GLUE
    GIVE IT TWENTY CAT DICKS
    HAVE IT FLY TO YOUR WINDOW AND GLUE CAT DICKS ALL OVER IT
    THEB IM GONNA BREAK THE WINDOW AND ROLLNUDE IN THE GLASS
    GET REALLY CUT UP AND SHIT
    FUNNEL THD BIRDS SHIT INTO MY EYES
    SUCK ITS DICK AGAIN
    PUT MY OWN PENNIS ON YOUR TABLE
    SLAP CHOP IT
    PUT IT IN A BOWL IF GOOSE SHIT
    AND EAT IT

  7. #7
    For Ricky

    O RICKY
    LOVR IS SO TRICKY
    THATS WHY IM GOING TO WRAP MY DICK IN SANDWICH MEAT
    AND LAY DOWN IN A PITBULL FIGHT
    WHEN THE PITBULLS ARE SATED AND SLEEPING
    I WILL GLUE GOOSE DICKS ONTO THEIR TEETH
    DIP MY BALLS IN ALPO
    AND LET THEM GNASH MY TESTICLES
    UNTIL THEY HAVE THEY ARE BLOODY COTTAGE CHEESE
    THEN I WILL GLUE A CAXTUSE TO A POLAR BEARS DICK
    DRESS AS A GIRL BEAR
    HAVE IT FUCK ME
    GET PREGNZANT WITH A CACTUS BEA
    PAINFULLY GIVE BERTH OUY MA DICK
    LICK THE BEAR CUBS ASSHOLE
    PUT GOOSE SPERM IN MY EYES
    AND LET GIRL GOOSES SIT IB MY FACD
    AFTER OF COURSE I HAVE COVERED
    THEIR GOOSE BAGINAS
    IN HYDROCHLORIC ACID

  8. #8
    Hey DJ chaps
    YOU MAKE ME GL FAP
    IM GOJNG TO GO BACK IN TIME
    AND STOP YOU FROM SU KING OFF AN OWL
    AND THEN YOULL BE AN EAGLE SCOUT

  9. #9
    HEY LEWFATHRT
    I WANT TO TRAIN A GOOSE TO USE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
    CLIMB A PINE TRER
    POSITION MU ANUS ON THE VRTH TOP
    CUT MY ARMS OFF
    HAVE GHE GOOSE FLY UP TOP AND BURN MH DICK SHUT
    BLEED TO DEATH
    HAVS HE GOOSE CUT OFF MY DI K
    FREEZE IT
    PUT S TWIG INSIDE OF IT
    WRAP IT IN SANDWICH MEAT
    FYNNEL ITD SJITJBTO. G EYEZ
    BLOW A CACTIDY CAT DIVM
    SU K OFF A MOTHRFUH KING LION
    EAT HIMAN SHIT
    STAKE BRYAN MI ON INTO YHE MAIN EVENT
    AND GUNNEL GOOSE SHIT INTO MU DICKHLLR

  10. #10
    Sorry if you got left out, you get the point.

    I am also sorry for poets and fans of poetry for basically solving it, and making it pointless and impossible to ever enjoy a poem again.

    Coming next: novels

  11. #11
    Gold rickastley's Avatar
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    WIZ = HITS

  12. #12
    One more for 4 dragons

    FOUR DRAGONS
    YOU DRAG ME LILE A WAGON

    I AM GOING TO PAPETCUT MY DICK
    WITH A MAGAZINE
    AND UNLOAD A FULL CLIP OF AN AR 15
    INTO MY SORE DICKHOLE
    I EANT TO FUNNEL DEER PISS JNTO MY NOW BLEEDING DICK
    AND REPISS IT INTO MY OPENED EYES
    FOR YOU I WILL GLUE THIRTY CAT DICKS TO A PKLAR BEARS FEEY
    SUCK THE DICKS
    CUT OFF ITS FEET
    AND FUCK MY ASS WITH THEM
    AFYER WRAPPING THEM WITH SANDPAPER
    FJNNEL A GOOSES VAGUNA JUICE INTO MY NOSTRILS
    SNORT A LINE OF FIRE ANTS
    GATGLE WHALE PISS
    SU K A TURTLES DICK
    PULL A HERMIT CRAB OUT OF ITS SHELL AND DIP ITS ASS IN GOOSE SHIT
    RIMJOB THE CRAB AND LET IT PINCH MY DICK
    CUT OFC MG HANDS
    FREEZE THEM
    GLUE GOOSE DICKS TO MICONS FEET
    AND GIVE BIRTH TO A PUFFERFISH OUT MY SLRE PEBOS
    LICK POISON FROG BALLS
    SQUEEZE TADPOLES INTO MY MOUTH
    EAT. Mousetrap full of shit
    Cutting my lops off
    Eating my nilples
    Freezing to death in a polar hear rape den

  13. #13
    Gold 408Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rickastley View Post
    WIZ = HITS
    Yeah, but not really.

    He's better than you though, which isn't saying much...

  14. #14
    Platinum Muck Ficon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buddy Jonathan Jacob View Post
    Sorry if you got left out, you get the point.

    I am also sorry for poets and fans of poetry for basically solving it, and making it pointless and impossible to ever enjoy a poem again.

    Coming next: novels
    Quote Originally Posted by Baron Von Strucker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kmksmkn View Post
    Does anybody know if u can get a work visa for playing online poker in the UK
    I have had Issues with credit cards in Europe
    Quote Originally Posted by Tyde View Post
    you're more consumed with accumulating wealth than achieving spiritual enlightenment
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    Getting a little surf and turf tonight. In my world that is Sea Bass with a nice lobster tail on the side. And grilled asparagus. It's nice having money.

  15. #15
    RICK ADTLEU AND 408 MIKE
    YOU ARE TGE TWO FORUM POSTERS I LIKE
    GOOSE DICKS BLA BLA BLA

  16. #16
    HEY 4O8
    WE ALL KNOW IM GREAT
    SO GET BACK IN YOUR KAYAK, CHIEF
    YHERES A BONFIRE AT CAMP FEELINGS

  17. #17
    Gold rickastley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 408Mike View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by rickastley View Post
    WIZ = HITS
    Yeah, but not really.

    He's better than you though, which isn't saying much...


    you're very mean michael

  18. #18
    Diamond vegas1369's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 408Mike View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by rickastley View Post
    WIZ = HITS
    Yeah, but not really.

    He's better than you though, which isn't saying much...
    Look at you all jealous over someone else getting some love. Oh how you crave that, don't you Mike?

    LOL... STFU. You are no authority on this subject. Wiz>408 forever, and it's not even remotely close. Don't believe me? Go ahead and make a poll.

  19. #19
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    Ctrl+F dick





  20. #20
    Gold 408Mike's Avatar
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    I tell posters I like as such, how often am I trashing NBH or Corrigan for example? I do not get wiz posts now, the old ones were really good, am I not allowed to voice my opinion?

    When I think Wiz, I think this:

    Greetings, NWP.



    Recently, I was playing in a 7 handed local game of 5/10 with some old guys. I dealt myself K10 of spades, and action folded around to me. I raised it up, and got called by both blinds. As I dealt the flop, I was bitten on the chode by four Brown Recluses in unison. I mucked my hand and ran to the bathroom to spray Raid down my urethra. While frantically scampering down the hallway, I tripped and fell face first into a tupperware container full of LSD. My throat was swollen, and I was unable to get up and ask for help. I managed to retrieve my Blackberry from my fanny pack. I fumbled with the device, unable to concentrate long enough to dial for help.

    I am not a religious man, but what happened next really made me think that someone was watching after me. I heard a quick succession of raps on the front door. At this point, I was still lying face first in the LSD holding my breath! One of the old guys might get up to answer the door and help me spray Raid or DDT down my dickhole! My hope dissipated when four minutes passed. Another four or five knocks on the door... KNOCK LOUDER YOU SON OF A BITCH! No results. The old guys were all deaf from years of listening to Big Bands and their televisions turned up to Ten. The blood was draining from my face and I was extrememly downtrodden when I heard footsteps pattering away from the door. My one last hope was walking away. To make matters worse, I felt another Brown Recluse crawling up my pant leg. It felt pregnant, and I heard the faint rustle of a plump eggsack rattling on her back. God, I hoped this was just the LSD.

    Anyways, just as I was about to give in and inhale the pure LSD... I did. Just as I was giving up, I heard a thunderous crash to my left! I felt hundreds of shafts of glass lodge into my back. Before I could fill my lungs with liquid acid, a strong hand pulled me from my hair out of the tupperware container, and unzipped my pants. At this point, I was really tripping out. My vision was distorted... but for one instant, I focused perfectly... and I swear to God I saw Kathy Liebert standing over me, can of Raid in hand. She told me to hush, and I felt the soothing Raid flowing down my urethra. After two complete cans were emptied into my you know what, I was able to move again, although my joints were creaky and my throat was still swollen. I tried to say, "Thank you", but could not yet muster the strength. The mysterious hero zipped me up, and gave me some orange juice to help me with my acid trip.

    Let's not forget about the pregnant brown recluse that was crawling up my leg to hatch eggs in my asshole. As the heroine stroked my hair, I heard the tell tale crackling of hatching spiders echoing in the canyon of my own asshole. The Kathy Liebertesque savior grabbed the nest and ate the eggsack before it was too late. I watched in horror as she consumed the venomous arachnids. The blood drained from her face, and she scrambled back out the window. I didn't even get to thank her for what she did.



    TWO WEEKS LATER

    I'm in Atlantic City, and still not even sure if any of this happened. The old guys at my home game had told me they found me tucked in to the guest bed. Noone mentioned the broken window or any kind of commotion... perhaps I had dreamed it all. Anyways, I am playing limit holdem when Kathy Liebert sits in at the table. I am in seat 1, and she is in seat 4. I am dealt the K10 of spades, and raise it up. Kathy calls and it's me and her heads up in the pot. The flop comes down K 10 10. I check, she raises, and I fold. I mouth, "Thank you... whoever you are." to her, and she shows me the KK as I muck. She winks at me, and opens her mouth. For an instant, I saw the intricate webbing of a family spider nest... Kathy quickly closes her mouth, and it all comes back to me. Kathy scooped up the pot, and abruptly leaves the game. She slips something in my fanny pack as she passed.

    Now, I was pretty much in shock at this point. I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. I broke into a brisk jog... I just had to know what this mysterious hero had left me! I made it to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I opened the fanny pack, and found a cylinder wrapped in a note. I read the note: "There is no time! Quickly disperse the contents of this into your urethra!" Huh? What the... I looked down to find a can of Raid. I didn't hesitate. As I felt the warm, pleasant substance coursing down my urethra... twelve black widows were forced out of my penis hole.

    How did she know? I haven't seen her since, but I owe this woman two of my lives. She is an unheralded hero in the land of pubic spider infestation, and one hell of a poker player. I came out and posted this in the hopes others could be inspired by my personal experience, and prepared for any kind of penis tube arachnid shenanigans. Kathy Liebert is only a man, she cannot be everywhere at once. I advise you to disrobe and spray your orifices thoroughly with DDT and Agent Orange, and to keep on Tweakin' your respective Games, son.

    y0 y0 y0 y0 y0 y0 y0, dat were what it was


    BOI
    This new stuff seems different...

    Another sample of true Wiz:
    I'm more important than you
    Cooks beer, 8.99 for 24... does it suck? No, it's fucking awesome and you idiot fucks know nothing about that which is awesome.


    I don't waste my time with fucking euro shit pretending I'm a fucking wine drinking intellectual fucking ass faggot from fucking france. I'm not fucking peet. I'm here to fill you worthless assholes in on something: beer is fucking beer. If you ass faces can get 24 beers for 10 dollars after tax do it. This isn't fucking germany. We don't drink it warm here in the states you worthless communists.


    Now let me fucking finish. I am obviously smarter than you, so read this a few times to drive it into your thick fucking skull. You are a fucking idiot, faggot. I got a case of beer for 10 dollars you asshole moron piece of shit. Why are you reading this post? I'm wiz the alphabet elephant, that's why. I'm the best fucking poster on any goddamn forum on the internet, that much is obvious.

    When I type, it is like Jesus sprinkling fucking ownage on a goddamn tittie.

    Now listen up because I have some crucial points.

    1. I am smarter than you

    2. If I had 20k I'd be better at poker than you

    3. Ship 20k to canniper on stars


    Fuck you, You fucking idiots are the reason they crash planes into buildings. If everyone was an alphabet elephant, everything would be about smoking joints. Now listen clearly, because I have a few important points to make.

    1. I'm really cool.

    2. I'll fuck your girlfriend.

    3. There is a brown recluse within 10 feet of you and he's going to bite you


    Don't fucking think you are safe, because there are spiders all over the place waiting to fucking own you with toxic venom, as opposed to non-toxic venom found in french spiders.

    I don't know about you guys, but I'm american. Everyday I live on the edge, constantly threatened by water moccasins and spiders and all kinds of native american savages just waiting to fucking kill me.

    What do I do? Do I cower in the shadows? No.

    I fucking own, that's what I do. And I will continue to own until the day that I am inevitably murdered by fucking killer fucking bees, because here in the new world we look death and the eye and snicker.

    Death can kiss my black ass all fuckin day.

    You idiot faggots think Wiz is a joke. I got a big fucking joke for you: Never win poker dot com. This site is a haven for faggot noobs who shiver in the shadows hiding from fucking spiders and poison dart frogs. I got news for you, shithead. You gotta fucking live your fucking life. This isn't fucking Paperboy, turn off your fucking NES and own the world as I do everyday.

    Why am I so cool you ask? I can't help it. I was born this way, and I have learned to live with it. It gets real tough when all the girls want to have sex with you, but you have to play the cards life deals you.

    In conclusion, fuck yeah you stupid assholes, you all suck.

    -the light that casts no shadows.

    PS I can spell when i'm drunk you idiot assholes
    I just prefer the old Wiz is all...

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