You should have just whipped it out
She had a boyfriend back home, was annoyed I asked her out
She was liberal politically, and I said something to offend her
She was put off when I criticized my recent ex-girlfriend, and told me off
I made a bad sexual joke which didn't land, and her opinion of me changed
She realized I had dated her friend back home, who had said bad things about me
She was a lesbian
She only liked me as a friend, which led to an argument once I realized it
When I stood up, she remarked I was too tall, and she was only into guys under 6'
I reminded her too much of her ex-boyfriend, which she soon realized
By coincidence, I knew her ex from 1990, and had accidentally destroyed their relationship back then
You should have just whipped it out
Where did Druff's other posts go? He shared two other good stories; although, I wouldn't have wanted any part of the girl in the first one.
Funny thing, brother, 'Just whipping it out' is basically what got me the hookup with the only woman who has ever been out of my league; I think I told the story here already, or elsewhere, I'll see if I can find it.
Don't Tread on Anyone, mothafucka!
I guess I'll just have to retell the story; I can't find it. The dialogue might be slightly different than other tellings (if there are any) as I don't perfectly recall dialogue from eighteen years ago.
At this point in time, I'm still attending college, and I'm also the manager of a shit bag economy hotel in the same city. It was actually slightly less of a shithole than the second hotel I ended up managing; it didn't have as many amenities, though. Basically, the rooms were less dated and the wall colors, etc., were chosen by someone who wasn't totally incompetent. The second hotel's owner was even cheaper than the first; he'd just buy whatever fucking paint he could get on clearance, regardless of the paint's color.
Some hotels do what are called, 'Call arounds;' the purpose of a call around is to see how your hotel is performing that night compared to other hotels in the market. For example, if one hotel has significantly higher occupancy than the others, then it's possible that some company, or work crew, is staying there...sometimes you can figure out who and try to undercut their rates, which is something we did a lot at the second hotel I managed. At the first hotel I managed, we basically just wanted to make sure our prices were the second-cheapest, (of brand name hotels) or tied for cheapest, in a five mile radius.
Most of the time, a call around will go like this:
ME: Hey, this is Mission146 of Shithole Inn, what's your rate and occupancy, please?
THEM: Hey, Mission; we're at about 60% and the rack rate is $75, before tax. How about you?
ME: We're at 57% and the rack is $65, but I'll take as low as $50 as long as they aren't locals.*
*'Locals,' in my case, wasn't a euphemism for anything; at both hotels I managed, it just meant people local to the area. They are much more likely to cause disruptions than other guests. At the second hotel, my rack rate could be anywhere from $70-$90 (other than Jacuzzi rooms) depending on room type, but locals had to pay a flat $120 regardless.
THEM: Cool. Have a good night.
ME: You too.
The purpose of this is that, if you're polite with the other hotels, then they'll usually send potential guests to you when they are either sold out or their price is too high for the would-be guest. Our market position at the first hotel I managed is that we were the second-cheapest and were the cheapest if you didn't want to get back on the highway and drive three miles. We were also known to be much cleaner than the only hotel cheaper than us; the rate difference (comparing them and us) was also insignificant, so if your hotel was too expensive for the guest, then you usually sent them to me. In exchange, if someone was looking for better amenities than we had, I'd send them to whatever hotel helped me the most often.
In the case of the second hotel I managed, we were the smallest step down from limited-service hotels to economy hotels (with us kind of living somewhere in-between, at the time). Basically, the limited service hotels would send people to us if their rates were too high for them and the guest was looking for an indoor pool...though I wouldn't let my dog swim in that pool, if I had a dog.
Small talk is pretty common on these call-arounds, especially in the late evening hours; sometimes, you'll actually become friends with people. For example, one of my few good irl friends is someone I first met doing call arounds.
Anyway, I eventually became friendly with a young lady who worked at the limited service hotel that was basically across the street from us. I'd typically be done around 11:00p.m. (if my night auditor was on time) and she got done at midnight. We'd probably chat for about 15-30 minutes on any given night.
Neither of us had ever physically seen the other; as I recall, she said something about being hungry and I said something along the lines of, "We might as well meet in person; we're right across the street from each other. I'll take somewhere to grab some food, if you want."
She agreed. She sounded cute on the phone (sometimes you can kind of tell), so my shift ended and I went up, showered, changed my clothes and wandered over to her hotel. As I recall, she was away from the desk when I first came into the place, then coming down from upstairs is just this smoking fucking hot chick!!! I noticed that she was wearing a dress shirt and slacks, and I'm thinking, "There's no fucking way..."
ME: (Chick's name)?
HER: That's me. Oh, you must be Mission!
ME: That's me.
Her night auditor arrived and I followed her to her apartment. At the hotel, she asked if I'd mind if she toked up a little before we went to dinner and I said I didn't have a problem with that; she also wanted to deliver her car to her apartment as she didn't want to potentially drive while impaired.
She shared an apartment with her brother, who she introduced as her brother, so no problem there. She drank a beer and hit from a bong, offering me both, but I declined and said I might take her up on a beer after we eat.
We went to an IHOP and I don't remember what either of us had. After we left the restaurant, she asked if I minded just driving around for a bit. I told her that would be no problem, so we did that. Eventually, she happened to spot a cemetery that she thought looked interesting and wanted to explore. We held hands and went through the cemetery, but nothing happened.
Eventually, we went back to her apartment and she invited me in. She kind of encouraged me to take a few hits from the bong (HUGE MISTAKE, AS IT TURNS OUT), so I did that and drank one or two beers. Her brother went to bed and she continued to take a hit from the bong from time to time.
The two of us are sitting there talking; eventually, she somehow turns the conversation to her dissatisfaction with her rack. I remarked that I'd have to see them to know, and sure enough, she just point blank takes off her top and asks for my opinion. Naturally, I said that I thought they were just fine; I'm at full mast, so I made a joking remark about how maybe I could stand for my cock to be bigger and pulled that out. Shockingly, she replies that it looks good to her and asked me if I wanted to, 'Fool around.'
Keep in mind, this chick is as close to a ten as I've ever seen; the fact that I found myself in her apartment, more than that, her bedroom...defies all possible logic.
She made it very clear that this was very much a one-off thing; I obviously wasn't going to object to that. I got her off multiple times and fucked her for literally hours but I couldn't get off to save my life; it was the fucking weed! I usually didn't smoke weed and wasn't quite sure (at the time) that was the problem, though I suspected it. It was only later, after one of the very rare occasions during which I smoked with my ex-wife (she didn't smoke often and I can count the number of times I have, in my life, without using all of my fingers) that I conclusively determined that I simply can not ejaculate if I'm high.
And, that's my story. The hottest woman I've ever fucked, by a country mile, and I couldn't get off. She had a great time, though...for the first hour, anyway. I think she was actually kind of upset that she wasn't able to get me off and I offered that we should stop a few times before she finally gave up. A few days after that, I suggested we have another go and she said, "We'll see," even though she usually doesn't bang the same guy twice as a rule. Never did happen; I ended up moving back to where I'm from not long after...I don't know if it would have happened.
Don't Tread on Anyone, mothafucka!
"Let me start by saying, I never thought this would happen to me..."
So that's it - you pretty much never saw her again? She sounds like a bit of a slut if her thing is to just fuck random dudes but never more than once. Were future call arounds awkward?
Future call arounds weren't at all awkward and we even hung out and drove around once or twice after. It was made clear to me, at the time, that she intended for it to be a one-time thing and that's what it was. I definitely wouldn't consider her a slut; I've no reason to think she was lying, and don't recall the exact number, but she said her body count was in the single digits.
Simply put, she said she had no desire for a relationship with anyone and didn't want to get too attached to anyone romantically. She said she just likes sexual companionship every once in a while and was impressed with the brazen way in which I reciprocated her come on.
Don't Tread on Anyone, mothafucka!
Nailed this one.
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