Curious on how the process works.
Curious on how the process works.
You are fucked.
That is all you need to know.
Yeah. Get ready to say goodbye to half your stuff.Originally Posted by NaturalBornHustler
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Thread needs DRK.
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Say it ain't so bro.
Nope, but I'm getting married in 4 weeks time
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
I'm ok with this. I don't really have much money saved (~ 20K) and I don't have any material possessions that I care about.
I'm concerned about seeing my kids.
I was just about to mention the kids thing.I'm ok with this. I don't really have much money saved (~ 20K) and I don't have any material possessions that I care about.
I'm concerned about seeing my kids.
First off, does your state (Ohio, right?) have no-fault divorce? If it does, this will be an easier process.
Regarding the kids, I presume you want 50% custody. This is given in most cases, provided you can prove:
1) You are a fit parent -- which means no provable drug problems, alcohol problems, history of violence, etc.
2) You are willing to stay in the local area and cause a minimal disruption to the kids' life and routine.
How old are the kids? If any of them are under 2, you might need to convince the judge that you know how to care for a baby.
It would be best if you can convince your wife beforehand to agree to the 50% custody, but some women get bitter (or believe that you can't raise them right on your own), and fight for primary custody.
Also, beware of things you have posted on the internet. If your wife knows your screen name (which she might, since you've been "devidee" for years), she could easily search for posts that would "indicate" you would be an unfit parent. I am not sure if you've made any posts that could hurt you in this way, but you might want to watch out for that. Also lock down your Facebook from both your wife and her friends.
Try to think about what she might use against you in a custody battle, and have answers ready for these issues.
In general the judges tend to favor the mother when it comes to custody, but it is also fairly common to get a 50-50 custody split, even with the ex-wife trying to push for more.
Finally, try to come to an agreement with her not to badmouth each other to the kids. Divorce is hard enough on children as it is, but it is devastating for them to feel like they have to choose sides between Mommy and Daddy. Even if you end up hating her guts, don't let the kids know that, and try to convince her to give you the same respect.
BTW the worst age for kids to be when their parents divorce is 8-12, because they are old enough to fully understand it, yet too young to be emotionally ready to accept it.
The ideal time for divorce if there's kids involved is when the child is under 2. Even under 4 is not that damaging, as the child will likely not grow up with a memory of their parents together, which is actually a good thing. Obviously it is best for the kids if the parents stay together (provided the relationship isn't toxic to the point where there is constant fighting or unhappiness), but many times that is not feasible.
GL
Woah, woah, woah. 50%? Who said anything about 50%? By seeing them I meant occassionally. You know, like when the Buckeye's game isn't on and what not.
(Also, please post in this thread if you've actually filed for divorce. TIA)
I never filed for divorce. My ex-wife filed.
Then why did you post in this thread?
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
I GOT ONE LITTLE GIRL THATS 49 SHE COST MORE NOW THAN WHEN SHE WAS 17. 5 TIMES AND ONE KID NOT TO BAD
Taking legal advice from the internet is a pretty lousy idea. Consult an attorney.
Sorry to hear this line of questioning. I got married in Ohio, but divorced in PA, so I'm not entirely sure. My only advice is there is a fine line between amicable, and getting fucked. Mine was amicable, but I was overly generous because I felt some guilt to a degree, and it didn't buy me any goodwill in the end. There were no children involved in mine, so you have a much touchier situation that is night and day different.
Get a good lawyer obv., and understand you'll get your kids an appropriate amount regardless, don't go giving away the farm to try and placate her in advance. You'll get plenty fucked when the time is right, don't do it to yourself. Also make sure your lawyer is highly vigilant in all the language that involves any future moves should they occur. A lot of friends of mine have gotten fucked in that arena, and while a move may not be preventable, there are provisions that can be legally anticipated that defray travels costs, holidays and such. Just get a sharp fucking lawyer who is well regarded. Stupid shit like criminal background checks on future people who may be around your children, shit like that, are all things I have seen have to be revisited by courts when they could have been anticipated.
Then why did you post in this thread?
Because you posted "this thread needs DRK" early in the thread, and because I love Devidee so much, I didnt want to give the impression that I was ignoring him.
in other words, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT, MOTHA FUCKA!!!!
Also PM Gamble. I imagine he may be really useful in this situation, but these things always get ugly and the conversations are best left to private correspondence that can't come back to bite your ass.
Never personally been through it, but have many many friends who have. It's all about the lawyer. If you are both fit parents, it will come down to who has the better lawyer. Get the absolute best you can possibly afford. It will pay off huge in the end. GL.
I think there was something like a 6 month period you have to wait until the divorce is official. In case you want to patch things up.
If you DO file, be prepared, should she want to go psycho on you (as mine did), to have her file a bullshit order of protection, telling the police that you hit or abused her. Its a common tactic where the wife files that paperwork and you get removed from the house with NOTHING. You are on your own. Make sure you always have your wallet and car keys with you at all times. If you run up cc debt right now, and you are careful with what you buy, you have to split the debt. My ex ran her card up to 44K, and I had to split that debt (she bought clothes and took trips, but these were considered "family expenses", so I had to pay half).
prepare yourself. If you can amicably work something out with her, where you pretty much grovel and treat her really well, and accept blame for anything/everything, maybe she wont crucify you in court, and you can just move on happily after the divorce. My ex feels ENTITLED to more money from me and wants to sue me based on the premise that she knows men who make 250K a year, therefore I should be paying her more money (bitch is crazy).
Good luck. Its a beautiful world out there. Ask Gamble how he is enjoying life after divorce...
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