My Brain Exploded Recently

[tyde]

I’ve been delving deep into quantum physics and the scope of our universe

listening to podcasts non stop about reality as we know it

James Webb telescope revelations about this vast cosmos and just how insignificant our lives are in the grand scheme of things

I’ve been so immersed in distancing myself from ego its hard to explain

the state of humanity why are we fighting why so much evil

Gaza and Ukraine and the rise of AI its all too much

I just want us all to hang out and have fun and appreciate this beautiful planet we all share

seems like humanity as a collective is moving in the wrong direction and its so deeply disturbing

I know I’m not alone

almost made it a year sober but all this chaos in the world made me snap

I’m gonna keep fighting not surrendering just trying to figure out this weird ass experience called life

[tyde]

I wish everyone on this site the best by the way

I can’t be the only one here who is freaked out by all this drama and turmoil in the world so please just once spare me the pot shots

[Dive_Bar_Dave]

Is this the Tyde relapse thread?

[igotnotoe]

Marti,

Please don’t relapse!!! I’m like ur biggest fan on here!!!

Pm me if u need to talk.

I have been dry since 1959 so I know what its like!

[Dive_Bar_Dave]

So how many drinks the last two days?

[tyde]

I’m not a drug addict my alcoholism has always been rooted in depression

humanity is pissing me off

I will stop drinking shortly and try to move on

needed to unplug my brain won’t shut off I haven’t slept for 3 days

[tyde]

Marti,

Please don’t relapse!!! I’m like ur biggest fan on here!!!

Pm me if u need to talk.

I have been dry since 1959 so I know what its like!

thanks brother

I just want us all to smile and be kind to others

seems like hate and animosity and evil is dominating this world lately

I didn’t sign up for this shit

[tyde]

at my age you start to question your mortality and what this journey is all about

the last few months I’ve been so immersed in physics and string theory it made my brain snap

so drained by pedos and corruption and bad intentions

i never thought life was going to be such an intense battle

last few weeks my sanity has been pushed to the edge

[Dive_Bar_Dave]

Marty,
Let’s not dress this up in fancy clothes. Like its because of this world issue or that world issue. Bullshit. You like booze. It’s fun.

Booze.
Unto itself it’s great. But if you lose your shit because of it, then it’s a problem.

Fellow degen, weighing in. Same issue as you. Just, well, existing with it.

[tyde]

two stints in rehab

I laugh at so called board certified professionals selling me on triggers etc

AA is for whiners and pussies that need to be coddled

20 something board certified bitches handing out worksheets on how to cope get the fuck out of here with that nonsense

I got 5150’d two years ago and laughed my ass off in my psychologists face before he signed my release 15 minutes later

[tyde]

going down the rabbit hole of quantum physics has driven many to the brink of insanity

I can walk away from any addiction like a boss

today was my last day drinking for another year or so if I choose

I needed a fucking break from this madness

any addiction is rooted in escapism

[tyde]

used to go on epic weekend crystal benders like a mad dog in Mexico

then walk away never looking back

some people are just weak and need a surrogate rescue crew to save them from addiction

I have no ‘cravings’ for drugs or alcohol not now not ever

my brief relapse is because of this fucked up world freaking me out for a few days

today is Monday I will now resume life and shake it off

[garrett]

-220 he smoking Meth his Brain hurts..

[Jayjami]

I’ve been delving deep into quantum physics and the scope of our universe

listening to podcasts non stop about reality as we know it

James Webb telescope revelations about this vast cosmos and just how insignificant our lives are in the grand scheme of things

I’ve been so immersed in distancing myself from ego its hard to explain

the state of humanity why are we fighting why so much evil

Gaza and Ukraine and the rise of AI its all too much

I just want us all to hang out and have fun and appreciate this beautiful planet we all share

seems like humanity as a collective is moving in the wrong direction and its so deeply disturbing

I know I’m not alone

almost made it a year sober but all this chaos in the world made me snap

I’m gonna keep fighting not surrendering just trying to figure out this weird ass experience called life

Wrecking your car, constant shit posts, and attacking Druff. Even les knew you fell off the wagon. Lol @ your “excuses”.

[The Boz]

Dude, NOBODY is up 3 days just on alcohol, just not possible. Why not come totally clean on what else you took?

[sonatine]

marty lord knows you and i have had our share of conflict but as someone who has turned some corners i want to lay some opinions on you for you to do with as you wish.


* you are addicted to conflict. you like the fight/flight vibe.
* your passion for right wing/conservative politics is heavily connected to the high you get from confrontational behavior.
* you spend time on twitter and on this absolute cesspool looking for 2 things; fights and echo chamber reinforcement.

you get it here because its a watering hole for some of the least emotionally intelligent people on the internet.

you get it on twitter because the algorithm there makes absolutely sure you are exposed to two very deliberate extremes; people who agree with you and people who dont.

in short, a sickness is being cultivated in you and twitter uses it for monetization, druff uses it for legitimization, and you use it for serotonin/dopamine/endorphines.

the most predictable trajectory for you is to lever up on that sickness by using substances to exaggerate your emotional investments / extremes, which makes all the conflict that much more rewarding.

but its all nonsense. youre just reprogramming your brain to get off on the most extreme mental illness it can handle. and when the rush wears off you go shopping for more extreme experiences.

im not saying you should sober up to deal with this.

im saying when you deal with this and turn your corner, youll not want to be high or drunk.

[tgull]

Not trolling Tyde, but fuck man you are pushing 60. Your addictions are a byproduct of being lonely, really it is. Seriously, get a job being a bartender, you'd get hired in a minute. Good bartenders in a decent spot pull down $300 tips a night, cash. 5 nights a week you are talking about $75K a year, effectively tax free. That is equivalent of a 6 figure income.

Your issue is you hang out on the internet all the time which is a morbid existence.

If you say bartend you will be socially interacting with people. You might even get laid, probably will, waitresses in bars are the skankiest alive, I know I had my share.

You probably have what 20 years left? Don't waste it on this site. Get a job bartending and meet some 40 something milfs. It's got to be better than this.

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

lol Druffs video poker score really fucked you up huh?

[Tellafriend]

you are not alone. we all deal with the meaninglessness of such grandeur in different ways. most just lack the capacity to understand or comprehend anything critically, so they stick with tradition and repetition for solace.

i've been going through midlife and existential crises for over a year now. a recent tough surgery didn't help matters. being raised a christan in a time and place where nobody considered questioning the veracity of it made my doing so especially difficult. it took a couple of years for me to reach the conclusion that none of this makes sense. whether it is just a random fluke that this is all here or there is some grander decision that hasn't seen fit to reveal itself, both answers suck. neither makes logical or emotional sense. we want there to be something that cares for us and loves us, it is inherit, but when you look around and realize all of the bad and evil and hurt could be instantly stopped with a deity coming/coming back and just levitating on tv for a few minutes with a few words and a single, grand miracle -- just think how the world would immediately change for the better and we would all have hope and understanding. but alas, we are supposed to believe conflicting letters written millennia ago and then hidden and edited to death. yeah, no. can't believe if this was all on purpose the creator would allow that to be his eternal word for his people.

i have no answers beyond try to find YOUR peace and leave the rest alone. I fail at it all the time. But still trying.

[Sloppy Joe]

marty lord knows you and i have had our share of conflict but as someone who has turned some corners i want to lay some opinions on you for you to do with as you wish.


* you are addicted to conflict. you like the fight/flight vibe.
* your passion for right wing/conservative politics is heavily connected to the high you get from confrontational behavior.
* you spend time on twitter and on this absolute cesspool looking for 2 things; fights and echo chamber reinforcement.

you get it here because its a watering hole for some of the least emotionally intelligent people on the internet.

you get it on twitter because the algorithm there makes absolutely sure you are exposed to two very deliberate extremes; people who agree with you and people who dont.

in short, a sickness is being cultivated in you and twitter uses it for monetization, druff uses it for legitimization, and you use it for serotonin/dopamine/endorphines.

the most predictable trajectory for you is to lever up on that sickness by using substances to exaggerate your emotional investments / extremes, which makes all the conflict that much more rewarding.

but its all nonsense. youre just reprogramming your brain to get off on the most extreme mental illness it can handle. and when the rush wears off you go shopping for more extreme experiences.

im not saying you should sober up to deal with this.

im saying when you deal with this and turn your corner, youll not want to be high or drunk.

This is some real shit, not just applicable to Tyde.

I watched Videodrome for the first time on Friday and had similar thinking all weekend to Tyde (minus booze/meth).

Easy to just say fuck it most of the time, harder to now with a three year old.

Chalk it up to a blip and step away for a few days Marty. You seemed to be in a really good place when you first returned, here's hoping for more of that.