‘stupid shit you did when you were hammered’ A Tyde request

[tgull]

This thread is about ‘stupid shit you did when you were hammered’. It was recommended by Tyde, and since I am effectively disabled with a fractured tailbone, why not?

This was about the dumbest thing I ever did, 2005 or so. Mouthed off to a black guy at a poker table. I was in the wrong, he sucked out on me, blah, blah, blah. But I said some incendiary shit.

Went up to my hotel room and realized I left my dob kit in the car. Went to the parking garage, dark, and yep gun right to the forehead. I pleaded with the guy I had kids, I did not at that time but you say whatever, and he gave me a pass. He made it clear you never fuck with a guy you don't know anything about. He and his boys just drove off.

I thought calling the cops, but I just assumed they had my license plate number and could probably trace me. So I let it go. I was not injured, and had no idea if there were cameras in the garage, but since I was told to leave the poker room by staff I really did not have much of a case on the surface.

I have never mouthed off to anyone face to face again. You never know. Some guy elbowed me in a crowd about a year ago. In my youth, yeah I would have ran up to him, just kept on walking.

Got a couple other doozies, but yeah not one with a fucking gun to your head.

[tgull]

This is another crazy story, holy shit. Call it 2008, end my my poker craze where I actually thought I could make money playing poker. I had left already a really nice paying job, to play poker. Fucking stupid. I mowed through probably $100,000 online, and took towards the end a horrendous beat from a Absolute Poker pro, he caught a straight and beat my set, it was before we all knew of the online scams but there was a 0% chance anyone would have went all in for what was a two outer on the river. He knew the next card.

I drove hammered to Atlantic City, not going to bore anyone on the details, but lost my last $2,000. When I say the last $2K I am talking about credit cards as well. I was worth -$30,000. It reminds me of Donald Trump when he married Marla Maples. Donald had just lost a fortune on real estate when the property market crashed in 1994. He and Marla were walking by a homeless guy sleeping on the pavement, and Donald chimed that guy is worth $876 Million dollars than me. LOL, there is always a comeback. I made it back.

[Sloppy Joe]

I drank tequila in college as a freshman for the first time. Getting beer in high school was easy but liquor was harder to come by.

This shit was bottom barrel, likely worse than the rotgut Tyde was downing during the epic run in Ensenada and Rosarita. We were college faggots drinking it with Sprite.

Tequila on top of beer as a green 18 year old was a horrendous idea and I started staggering back to my dorm, knowing I was dead meat if public safety was rounding as I was staggering all around like gout riddled Druff on crutches.

Hear some nearby commotion between what was clearly two townies, pure Indiana trash. All of a sudden guy townie delivers a haymaker to girl townie. He was big, I was not. I race over full liquid courage to intervene.



Woke up terribly hungover beat to shit.

[tgull]

I drank tequila in college as a freshman for the first time. Getting beer in high school was easy but liquor was harder to come by.

This shit was bottom barrel, likely worse than the rotgut Tyde was downing during the epic run in Ensenada and Rosarita. We were college faggots drinking it with Sprite.

Tequila on top of beer as a green 18 year old was a horrendous idea and I started staggering back to my dorm, knowing I was dead meat if public safety was rounding as I was staggering all around like gout riddled Druff on crutches.

Hear some nearby commotion between what was clearly two townies, pure Indiana trash. All of a sudden guy townie delivers a haymaker to girl townie. He was big, I was not. I race over full liquid courage to intervene.



Woke up terribly hungover beat to shit.

LOL at a college fight at the age of 18 being your worst alcohol experience. You know you don't have to respond to every fucking thread, just saying. Hey college fight at the age of 18, never heard that one before y'all. Fuck get out of here.

There was one?

[BetCheckBet]

If I can remember tonight I have a good one about showing up uninvited as the only white guy to a native party in northern Ontario.

[Texter]

Let’s see, nothing too life altering.

1. Got a dui because my idiot roommate locked his keys in his car and couldn’t drive a stick.
2. Threw a sausage on a stick at a cop on a bet to get more beer money
3. Took a piss in a fountain in traffic then rolled my ankle getting down from the fountain….this was the party to celebrate the end of dui probation….what a putz…ankle was fucked up for months

[Ryback_feed_me_more]

My biggest fear for this thread? Billy Leslie will post so many responses just from being on PFA itll become unreadable.

Mine isnt too horrible drank too much at a bar in Mexico which apparently also doubled as a strip club once 3pm arrived. Yeah enough said. Walked back across the border and got a ride from a buddy who was hanging at a casino. Discovered I had crabs no long after. For the record shaving your pubes isnt manly ya look like an over developed boy with no testosterone down there. But its what had to be done.

[BetCheckBet]

Embedded Tweet

https://twitter.com/clownworld_/status/1723400577470935369

[tgull]

Embedded Tweet

https://twitter.com/clownworld_/status/1723400577470935369

That is hilarious, and you can tell 100% authentic, good find, the Ric Flair Woooo for the win.

[The Boz]

None of these stories will beat Karen’s stories of shitting on the floor of chicken places while 100% sober and going right back to eating the chicken after picking her ass.

Prove me wrong.

[Sloppy Joe]

I drank tequila in college as a freshman for the first time. Getting beer in high school was easy but liquor was harder to come by.

This shit was bottom barrel, likely worse than the rotgut Tyde was downing during the epic run in Ensenada and Rosarita. We were college faggots drinking it with Sprite.

Tequila on top of beer as a green 18 year old was a horrendous idea and I started staggering back to my dorm, knowing I was dead meat if public safety was rounding as I was staggering all around like gout riddled Druff on crutches.

Hear some nearby commotion between what was clearly two townies, pure Indiana trash. All of a sudden guy townie delivers a haymaker to girl townie. He was big, I was not. I race over full liquid courage to intervene.



Woke up terribly hungover beat to shit.

LOL at a college fight at the age of 18 being your worst alcohol experience. You know you don't have to respond to every fucking thread, just saying. Hey college fight at the age of 18, never heard that one before y'all. Fuck get out of here.

There was one?

You're right lol.

Tell us more about the one where you started a family that you can't support due to being a degenerate lush and being up to your eyeballs in child support.

[tgull]

LOL at a college fight at the age of 18 being your worst alcohol experience. You know you don't have to respond to every fucking thread, just saying. Hey college fight at the age of 18, never heard that one before y'all. Fuck get out of here.

There was one?

You're right lol.

Tell us more about the one where you started a family that you can't support due to being a degenerate lush and being up to your eyeballs in child support.

LOL, that is totally made up. Where do you find this shit? What a goob.

[FRANKRIZZO]

This is another crazy story, holy shit. Call it 2008, end my my poker craze where I actually thought I could make money playing poker. I had left already a really nice paying job, to play poker. Fucking stupid. I mowed through probably $100,000 online, and took towards the end a horrendous beat from a Absolute Poker pro, he caught a straight and beat my set, it was before we all knew of the online scams but there was a 0% chance anyone would have went all in for what was a two outer on the river. He knew the next card.

I drove hammered to Atlantic City, not going to bore anyone on the details, but lost my last $2,000. When I say the last $2K I am talking about credit cards as well. I was worth -$30,000. It reminds me of Donald Trump when he married Marla Maples. Donald had just lost a fortune on real estate when the property market crashed in 1994. He and Marla were walking by a homeless guy sleeping on the pavement, and Donald chimed that guy is worth $876 Million dollars than me. LOL, there is always a comeback. I made it back.

Early days of online i lost with quad aces to royal flush and that site had no bad beat jackpot so 2 badbeats in 1. He needed 2 cards for the royal also. I had tons of beats were i had sets and would river me it was on the merge network. Thankfully never deposited on Lock.

[Jayjami]

In 1981, my grandparents took my family on a Mississippi River boat cruise. We spent a couple of days in New Orleans. I was 17 and my brother was 16. The drinking age back then was 18, but we were never carded, except in the Bourbon St. tourist bars. When we got on the boat, we headed to the bar at the stern, and were introduced to a local concoction known as the Hurricane. For those of you unfamiliar, it’s an adult dose. We proceeded to have two. I have a vague recollection of throwing up in a toilet, but that’s all I remember.

The next morning we woke up and there was barf everywhere in the room. Even in my shoes! My mom was banging on the door. We were supposed to go on a plantation tour. That wasn’t happening. We absolutely refused to answer the door and she finally left. I went to brush me teeth and realized I had thrown up my retainer. I lost one of my permanent front teeth in a bike crash and hadn’t yet gotten a permanent implant. When my mom saw me she wanted an explanation. I, of course, lied and said I got seasick and claimed it fell out when I was puking over the side of the boat.

My mom just rolled her eyes. I’ve never gotten seasick in my life, and we were on the Mississippi River. I had to go the rest of the trip looking like a toothless groomer. Good thing I was in the South. The crew was pretty impressed with us though. The next day the invited us to go drinking with them in Natchez, but that’s a story for another time.

[tgull]

This will be my last contribution to the thread, only because I said I would limit it to three. College, was wasted and smoked a joint for like the second time in my life. Drove to my GF's apartment. Here is the deal, no matter how much I pushed on the accelerator I could not get over 40 on the interstate, nothing wrong with the car just my foot was immobilized from my brain. If one cop had been nearby I could have never made it past any sobriety test. I got completely lost and took an exit and literally parked behind a motorcycle repair shop. Thankfully it was a Saturday night at 1am and woke up like at 8am. It was Sunday so now crew was there. I just drove off and made it to a Waffle House. This was before I had a cell phone and called from a payphone, remember those? Before any online directions, she knew where it was and came and I followed her back to her apartment. Her roommate was with her so I had to spring for two to go orders.

[tyde]

This will be my last contribution to the thread, only because I said I would limit it to three. College, was wasted and smoked a joint for like the second time in my life. Drove to my GF's apartment. Here is the deal, no matter how much I pushed on the accelerator I could not get over 40 on the interstate, nothing wrong with the car just my foot was immobilized from my brain. If one cop had been nearby I could have never made it past any sobriety test. I got completely lost and took an exit and literally parked behind a motorcycle repair shop. Thankfully it was a Saturday night at 1am and woke up like at 8am. It was Sunday so now crew was there. I just drove off and made it to a Waffle House. This was before I had a cell phone and called from a payphone, remember those? Before any online directions, she knew where it was and came and I followed her back to her apartment. Her roommate was with her so I had to spring for two to go orders.

don’t stop now drunk stories are solid gold

I have plenty obv…just trying to pick the best one

[BCR]

The dumbest thing I did was actually fairly recently and I can’t even discuss it because it’s something that could still be charged if I went into detail. Really shocked me that I did it. Hadn’t did something as dumb in 30 years. Kind of a strange circumstance where I interacted with different groups of people over the course of a day, all drinking, and all wanting me to try this or that. Had a compounding effect that hit me way harder than normal, and I drink a lot often. Just usually responsibly when I’m traveling or at an event and call Uber if I need to. No one was involved or hurt, thankfully.

I had a dui that got knocked down when I was 18. Have a hundred bad things that occurred, or bad things I did drinking stories from that era, including catching a stray bullet fragment I once shared a pic of here. Trying to snowboard when hammered like a surfboard with only one foot locked in getting a spiral fracture in attached foot, but literally none in last 20-25 years. I was truly angry at myself for putting myself in that spot at this age. I’m sure I did dumber shit, but at this age, I consider this the dumbest. Idk what statute of limitations is, maybe I’ll bump this in a few years.

An amusing thing I did last year drunk was coming out of a concert, it was a snarl of traffic because of the design of the parking area. It was going to be hours, but hotel was only 1.5 miles away.I open Uber and nothing. So like we get the bright idea to rent those scooters you see in cities everywhere. You turn them on with your credit card. My girlfriend is like 108lbs and was a ballerina and dancer, so she has great balance and was graceful from the first minute.one foot in front of the other swaying and enjoying it. She’s also 8 years younger. I was a shitshow riding between cars stuck in traffic, hammered and trying to balance. Feet too big. I had people jumping out of the way. I actually ran into a little brick wall and did a little damage when I got to hotel, so then took scooter and left it a couple hundred yards away. I kept expecting a bill since they had CC, but I guess people beat them up.

[tgull]

The dumbest thing I did was actually fairly recently and I can’t even discuss it because it’s something that could still be charged if I went into detail. Really shocked me that I did it. Hadn’t did something as dumb in 30 years. Kind of a strange circumstance where I interacted with different groups of people over the course of a day, all drinking, and all wanting me to try this or that. Had a compounding effect that hit me way harder than normal, and I drink a lot often. Just usually responsibly when I’m traveling or at an event and call Uber if I need to. No one was involved or hurt, thankfully.

I had a dui that got knocked down when I was 18. Have a hundred bad things that occurred, or bad things I did drinking stories from that era, including catching a stray bullet fragment I once shared a pic of here. Trying to snowboard when hammered like a surfboard with only one foot locked in getting a spiral fracture in attached foot, but literally none in last 20-25 years. I was truly angry at myself for putting myself in that spot at this age. I’m sure I did dumber shit, but at this age, I consider this the dumbest. Idk what statute of limitations is, maybe I’ll bump this in a few years.

An amusing thing I did last year drunk was coming out of a concert, it was a snarl of traffic because of the design of the parking area. It was going to be hours, but hotel was only 1.5 miles away.I open Uber and nothing. So like we get the bright idea to rent those scooters you see in cities everywhere. You turn them on with your credit card. My girlfriend is like 108lbs and was a ballerina and dancer, so she has great balance and was graceful from the first minute.one foot in front of the other swaying and enjoying it. She’s also 8 years younger. I was a shitshow riding between cars stuck in traffic, hammered and trying to balance. Feet too big. I had people jumping out of the way. I actually ran into a little brick wall and did a little damage when I got to hotel, so then took scooter and left it a couple hundred yards away. I kept expecting a bill since they had CC, but I guess people beat them up.

I know, doing stupid shit in your 20s drunk is part of life I somehow look at it fondly. Now pushing 50 there really is no excuse for stupid behavior drunk. Can't tell you how many shit stocks I bought after afternoon cocktails. Alcohol has no doubt cost me millions in life. I was in a bar a couple weeks ago, just stopped for a burger and a beer at noon. There was some 50 something guy hammered and on his phone furiously making bets on college football. At first when I looked at him, I was like that is pathetic, until I reminded myself I do the same exact shit on my couch at 3:30 when the SEC big game comes on.

[tgull]

Speaking of Statue of Limitations I can talk about this, LOL it was 25 years ago. I was at a Bennigans bar, remember those? I was a regular, liked the bartenders and they liked me. I probably went in there 50 times over the course of the year. I was in my mid 20s and struck up a conversation with two gals about my age. One was particularly interested in me, and I was like this has potential. In the conversation she said had just moved from Massachusetts, looking for things to do and we set up a soft date for the following week. It was really before the whole cell phone thing, so she wrote her number on a napkin.

So I left, I was hammered and backed out but turned the wheel too quick and caved in the passenger side door next to me. I got out and was WTF, then saw the license plate and yep it was Mass plates. Calmly got back in the car and drive off. I was still freaking out and decided to drive by 10 minutes later for whatever reason, and yep there was a cop and the two of them outside, just kept driving. Never called the gal and never went back to that Bennigans.

[thesidedish]

Lol @ remembering, do u fags even know how to drink