‘stupid shit you did when you were hammered’ A Tyde request

[BetCheckBet]

Ok so I'm gonna tell the shorter story first cause I'm too lazy to type out the good long one. I admit I was always a pretty damn responsible drunk/stoner so its not much but I think those a little older will be able to look back in fondness to how awesome it was drinking in the 90s.

At 17 years old I attended my first Canadian strip club (normally 19 to get in).

I was drinking in my friends basement when they started talking about a place called Paradise Island. I didn't know much about it or any club and at 17 never thought much about bars it was all house parties. One of my good friends tells me I can use his beginner driver's license and he will use his full one. We had similar hair styles and then he hands me his glasses to wear. He tells me the plan, that I'll go in with the first group of friends, then he and the second group will come in ten minutes later so he can show his ID separately. He then starts quizzes me on my new birthday, postal code, and all that shit. To be honest I don't know if I was sober if I would have gone through with it but I already had a nice buzz drinking jungle juice and I was like why the hell not? I ditched my best friend who was 18 and didn't have a fake ID and left with the group in a nearly broken down 1980's blue Chevette.

Anyone who knows strip clubs remembers how good the Canadian one's were during that time period. You could actually take a 17 years old's 20 dollar allowance and have a good time off of it. No cover charge, drinks 3 bucks (which we considered expensive), 5 dollar dances, and of course going on stage with a Toonie (Canadian two dollar coin at the time recently released). Plus dancers could do much more than today. So I arrive with the first group of friends, none of which I really know, and walk in wearing "my" glasses trying not to stumble around. Except nobody cards us, not even a bouncer at the door, we just walked right in and grab table. Ten mins in and still nothing, I figure we are good and take off the glasses so I can see properly. You have to understand a 17 year old seeing super hot naked chicks walking around in the 90s was a different game than it is today with the internet. People literally getting crazy lap dances right at the table next to you. After a few more mins the other group of friends comes in and sits right down with us. Then the waitress shows up and starts going one by one to ID us. She cards my friend and then immediately goes to me. If I was sober I swear I would have walked out right then as I figured no way this was gonna work with identical names and birthdates. On top of it I probably had better luck passing for a 15 year old than 19 at the time. But I was pretty drunk at this point and just handed it over. She looks and gives it right back to me and asks what I want. Somehow we are in....

I breath a sigh of relief. As a 17 year old I just want the shittiest beer that can get me fucked up and I ask for XXX 7 percent (Labatts). She asks me if I want the beer or something else. I say the beer and she says they don't carry it, Maximum Ice it is then. I still wonder to this day what would have happened if I asked for the other XXX...

As I said strip clubs were amazing in the 90s. We stayed for a few hours buying a beer every 30 mins or a 1 dollar ticket for lap dance draw. And then of course came the toonie. In Canada at the time towards the end of a girls stage time you could lay on stage with a toonie in your mouth. The girl would come by completely naked rub herself all over you and eventually take the toonie out with her tits. Two dollars well spent. So I went up on stage towards the end of the run and girl just goes crazy on me straddling all over in 69 and even goes down my pants. She comes back up and in the craziness of it all I've dropped the toonie somewhere down my shirt. I start reaching all over to look for it with this naked girl on top of me and security starts rushing on stage. Luckily my friends deescalate and I make it off stage without ever finding the toonie.

We hit 2 other bars that night and when a server refuses to serve me at the last bar I don't push it as no idea if they think I'm too drunk or know I'm underage. I get back and tell my 18 year old friend about it and I don't think he forgave me to this day for ditching him.

As for the bar, you wont find any real history about Paradise Island online but if you look carefully you can still find court documents about Hell's Angels trying to kill the owner and burning it down. I probably only went to strip clubs a couple dozen times throughout my life and nothing compares to the first time.

[AhoosierA]

I had dated a girl for nearly 2 years, including moving in together after about 1 1/2 years of being together. For my birthday, several months before we split up, she had bought me a bowling ball as I was in a bowling league.

She broke up w/ me a few months later and immediately started dating someone else and I was pretty bitter about it.

After a long night of drinking I had drove by her house and seen her new guys car parked outside. I was furious. My friend had an idea that I throw the bowling ball through his windshield in which I agreed was a good idea.

The cops showed up at my house the next day to question me about it but I denied knowing anything about it, but she knew, as she was the one that bought the bowling ball.

**I don't condone drinking & driving!**

[splitthis]

Super young like 17ish went to a concert (think it was Blue Oyster Cult and Def Leppard) with friends. We decided to take the exchange student from Australia with us.

After a couple bottles of rum was attempting to walk down cement steps of Coliseum with heavy assed binoculars around my neck…yep tumbled down with those mfers hitting me in the face.

After I landed, my friend had no sympathy and picked me up by my hair.

On way home was laying on floor of car puking out open door. For some reason I remember watching the road while heaving to this day.

Needless to say exchange student wasn’t allowed to go with us anywhere anymore.

[v12cl]

I lived in a converted Victorian unit that had 10+ individual units.

My unit was on the side of the building, with a narrow walkway.

A cute but nuts older lady who lived in one of the units would take shopping carts other residents had left out front and stash them on my walkway, forcing us to walk in the dirt and mud.

She said "they looked trashy" and continued to do so after being asked not to.

I pointed it out to her the store picks the carts up if they seem them, but can't find them in they are hidden. She didn't care.

One night, my soon to be ex wife was out front, saw her do it, confronted her, and stopped her.

We went out to pizza and drank a bunch of beer, and when we talked home, the bitch had once again moved the cart to the walkway.

So we came up with a plan of locking the shopping cart to the door handle of her Toyota Corolla with a cheap lock I used for my snowboard.

We put the plan together, then went out for more victory drinks.

The next morning about 7:00am she came stomping to the side of the building, but had no idea which unit was mine.

She ended up pounding on the door of this little quiet, scared, meek asian lady, and probably scared the shit out of her.

Later that afternoon, we left and she found us and confronted us. We denied having anything to do with it, which drove her even more batshit crazy.

A few weeks later the manager of the building laughingly asked me about it, and I told her I had no idea, but she could barely hold back the laughter because she clearly had dealt with the crazy lady, and knew how nuts she was.

[Dive_Bar_Dave]

This thread rocks. So, BUMP. I have done tons of dumb shit while drunk that I have trouble admitting to myself, let alone to you fat hick losers.