Originally Posted by
tyde
I’ll just be ridiculously candid here because hey, why not
Bottomset, I’m going on over 9 months now not a drop of alcohol, and I don’t even think about it anymore.
It’s rewarding enough just feeling healthy, rested and clear-headed
Today after busting and leaving Paris, I stopped at the bar and sat down…
and asked the bartender for a nice ice water.
I sat there for like 30 minutes playing on my phone having a smoke staring at all the different bottles and not once did it cross my mind to have a drink
the so-called ‘detox’ period is only the standard 7-10 days, thats easy enough…but it’s remarkable how the longer you go without booze, the better you start feeling…
appetite, sleep, endurance, clarity…all improve noticeably
I have to say that I’ve never felt ‘addicted’ to alcohol. In my 20’s working on the cruise ships in Hawaii circa 1993, I just partied like a rock star and it was awesome
In my 30’s it was just a social norm and I didn’t give it much thought, but it was regularly excessive
In my 40’s I guess you could say I was just drinking habitually, and in my 50’s I’m a full blown binge drinker trying to cope with depression on multiple fronts (state of the world, family, finances, relationships etc)
point being that at least for me, alcohol is easy to quit. I never had cravings or any kind of withdrawals. Its not like oxycontin, heroin, crystal meth, fentanyl or any of that highly addictive shit. It was all psychological.
what I never went into is how I did two stints in rehab and got 5150’d…not to mention losing vertigo when I was hammered and doing backwards cartwheels down 2 flights of concrete steps at a motel in Oceanside
rehab is a joke. I went to a high end facility in upscale Laguna, and they wanted me on all these different meds to deal with ‘cravings’ and expected me to listen to some 20 something bimbo board certified addiction counselor handing out worksheets talking about ‘triggers’ lol
I think I may have the all time record for the quickest relapse in the history of Laguna Treatment Hospital when I bounced on my own with no notice after 9 days right before midnight and went to the 711 sharing the same parking lot then bought and downed 3 straight shots of Fireball within two minutes of walking out the front door
The second time was way more productive and I met a lot of great people. was there 20 days (same place) but I had it bad for this smokin hot blonde from Belmont Shore that was in the middle of a divorce, and kind of lost focus
I lasted six weeks and felt great, but one day that little voice in my head said ‘fuck it’ and I pulled into a liquor store for a shot….no big deal I can handle it….um wrong…it was back to the races going on 5 day benders waiting for the liquor store to open.
Hell, I used to even google the one that opened up the earliest and was six shots deep before 9 am and sometimes just passing out in my car in the casino parking lot with a pile of empties on the passenger side
Ok long story short after I almost broke my neck and was seriously injured nursing multiple gashes and bruises, I holed up in a motel near the beach and didn’t eat for almost a week just drinking all day every day. I think I had two crackers and a half a banana the whole week
Id never consciously kill myself, but I was intentionally sabotaging my body not giving a fuck because it was a huge low point in my life and I was overwhelmed and feeling hopeless
Anyway after 8 days I felt weak, I could barely make it to the bathroom without bracing myself and wasn’t sleeping or eating. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I was just like jesus christ what a mess….pale, gaunt complexion, beady eyes, malnourished. never looked worse
All I can say is that was just it.
I didn’t really count the days. I just decided I was sick and tired of being a drunk fuckup.
I started eating again, hydrating, getting outside, and recharging my body…I had done this countless times before as a professional binge drinker, but 2 weeks became 3….then 2 months became 3….then suddenly I was six months without a single drink and my entire life had done a complete 180
Now its just all about enjoying feeling great and being lucid and driven, not depressed and hungover. Thats really all the motivation I need.
I still buy smokes at the liquor store for gods sake
Moral of the story is you don’t need lame ass AA, you don’t need the 12 step program, you don’t need craving drugs or certified addiction counselors…none of that shit.
You just need the desire to do it because alcohol is fucking poison and nothing good ever comes from it…every single major screw-up/failure in my life was booze related in one form or another
I would strongly recommend substituting modest cannabis usage strictly for its medicinal value
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