Ex Pat advice thread

[NaturalBornHustler]

So unless something drastically changes around here, I will more than likely be out of this country in about 5 yrs if I had to guess. I could do it now but I want to live like a king wherever I go, not just be comfortable. Anyway, I am starting to research places that might suit my needs. The obvious answer is Mexico, but I am looking more towards the northern part South America maybe Columbia or something.

But here is what I would need -

1. Golf - I have to have a golf course, a nice one preferably.
2. Cost - obv somewhere cheap(ish) so I can roll in with my American dollars and live luxuriously.
3. Beach - duh
4. Pussy - duh
5. Some type of house - I see lots of apartments but I don't want to live in a fucking apartment. That is poor people shit.
6. Location - south, warm, and not a zillion miles away.
7. Internet - shit that should be easy spaceX if all else fails
8. Politics - that I don't even know exist with my day to day life.
9. Travel - obv close to major airport
10. Town - obv not a shithole crime ridden place like American cities.
11. No weed laws - High til I die dope til they smoke me.
12. Corruption - the ability to pay off people for certain things would be nice. You now corruption that can actually be used to my advantage unlike here is US.

So with all that in mind any suggestions? The West coast of South America looks appealing, clearly not doing Venezuela to the East. Then you have Panama and all that shit a little north of South America. Islands are gonna be out they are all crazy expensive, and while living on an island sounds cool that shit will come with many issues especially related to funds and the ridiculous cost of everything. But that giant circle of countries surrounding the Caribbean looks very nice at least weather wise. Oh yeah what about the hurricane situation? Might not want to get wiped out by a storm if possible. Also I do not really drink/party that much and don't suspect that is changing anytime before I die, so I'm not some alcoholic that has to be near a bar or something. Could really care less about any of that.

All your poor faggots who live in a carboard box in Portland need not apply or respond. Just people with means who have traveled/live somewhere. TIA

[limitles]

So unless something drastically changes around here, I will more than likely be out of this country in about 5 yrs if I had to guess. I could do it now but I want to live like a king wherever I go, not just be comfortable. Anyway, I am starting to research places that might suit my needs. The obvious answer is Mexico, but I am looking more towards the northern part South America maybe Columbia or something.

But here is what I would need -

1. Golf - I have to have a golf course, a nice one preferably.
2. Cost - obv somewhere cheap(ish) so I can roll in with my American dollars and live luxuriously.
3. Beach - duh
4. Pussy - duh
5. Some type of house - I see lots of apartments but I don't want to live in a fucking apartment. That is poor people shit.
6. Location - south, warm, and not a zillion miles away.
7. Internet - shit that should be easy spaceX if all else fails
8. Politics - that I don't even know exist with my day to day life.
9. Travel - obv close to major airport
10. Town - obv not a shithole crime ridden place like American cities.
11. No weed laws - High til I die dope til they smoke me.
12. Corruption - the ability to pay off people for certain things would be nice. You now corruption that can actually be used to my advantage unlike here is US.

So with all that in mind any suggestions? The West coast of South America looks appealing, clearly not doing Venezuela to the East. Then you have Panama and all that shit a little north of South America. Islands are gonna be out they are all crazy expensive, and while living on an island sounds cool that shit will come with many issues especially related to funds and the ridiculous cost of everything. But that giant circle of countries surrounding the Caribbean looks very nice at least weather wise. Oh yeah what about the hurricane situation? Might not want to get wiped out by a storm if possible. Also I do not really drink/party that much and don't suspect that is changing anytime before I die, so I'm not some alcoholic that has to be near a bar or something. Could really care less about any of that.

All your poor faggots who live in a carboard box in Portland need not apply or respond. Just people with means who have traveled/live somewhere. TIA

Have you considered the delusion islands?
You’re gonna get knifed week one

[Tellafriend]

Aruba

[NaturalBornHustler]

I just saw they have a TPC in Cartegena. Only 2 in all of Latin America. Hmmmm now that I could live with......

[NaturalBornHustler]

Aruba

That is a tiny fucking island of 65k people. I'm sure great for vacation but not living year round.

[Tellafriend]

Aruba

That is a tiny fucking island of 65k people. I'm sure great for vacation but not living year round.

how much time have you spent there?

[tyde]

Les seriously just how angry are you at the world ?

so much pent up rage and hostility

Go back to rehab or just off yourself already and get it over with, because you are one miserable, hate filled motherfucker who needs some serious psychological help

[limitles]

Les seriously just how angry are you at the world ?

so much pent up rage and hostility

Go back to rehab or just off yourself already and get it over with, because you are one miserable, hate filled motherfucker who needs some serious psychological help

Heads up dude, there is no little America. It’s a package deal.
One piece of advice, put a flag on every thing you own

[tyde]

NBH I spent almost 3 years in Ensenada

lots of expats. I think the estimate is just under 100k in Baja alone

Yea its Mexico and obv its kinda ghetto

But its cheap and safe….if you like the coastal life I think you’d enjoy it

[limitles]

Seriously, I’d try Ireland if they’re accepting. Golf, golf, Guinness, golf, repeat.
And I think they’re ok with yanks.

It’s mild year round and Spain is an hour away

[NaturalBornHustler]

That is a tiny fucking island of 65k people. I'm sure great for vacation but not living year round.

how much time have you spent there?

None. I don't want to live on an island/country with as many people, total, as my current congressional district.

[NaturalBornHustler]

Seriously, I’d try Ireland if they’re accepting. Golf, golf, Guinness, golf, repeat.
And I think they’re ok with yanks.

It’s mild year round and Spain is an hour away

Ahh yes a paradise of 50 degrees and rain and/or clouds year round. In a socialist utopia. My ultimate final destination.

Have another shot.

[tgull]

how much time have you spent there?

None. I don't want to live on an island/country with as many people, total, as my current congressional district.

I'd consider St Thomas islands. Been there more times than I can count. It's a great island. Bumped into Brad Pitt there at a bar, true story. Taller than you would think. Always thought he was this really short guy.

[tyde]

None. I don't want to live on an island/country with as many people, total, as my current congressional district.

I'd consider St Thomas islands. Been there more times than I can count. It's a great island. Bumped into Brad Pitt there at a bar, true story. Taller than you would think. Always thought he was this really short guy.

You’ve never been to St Thomas and never ‘bumped into’ Brad Pitt

STFU

[limitles]

Seriously, hI’d try Ireland if they’re accepting. Golf, golf, Guinness, golf, repeat.
And I think they’re ok with yanks.

It’s mild year round and Spain is an hour away

Ahh yes a paradise of 50 degrees and rain and/or clouds year round. In a socialist utopia. My ultimate final destination.

Have another shot.

A fair weather golfer. Got it. Some of the most iconic golf courses are in Ireland. Europe is next door. But you want to play on some baked out track in a cart, eat at an Applebees, and call it a day

The opportunities are many. Why are you looking elsewhere if it has to be the same?
That will never happen except for a gated community
Pack it in now yankee

Scotland

[NaturalBornHustler]

I'd consider St Thomas islands. Been there more times than I can count. It's a great island. Bumped into Brad Pitt there at a bar, true story. Taller than you would think. Always thought he was this really short guy.

You’ve never been to St Thomas and never ‘bumped into’ Brad Pitt

STFU

Tyde my Ex Pat brother arms I know you have some good recommendations as you have traveled all over the globe, living the dream most men cannot achieve in this life.

[limitles]

You’ve never been to St Thomas and never ‘bumped into’ Brad Pitt

STFU

Tyde my Ex Pat brother arms I know you have some good recommendations as you have traveled all over the globe, living the dream most men cannot achieve in this life.

Aghh, I believe he had to keep moving which leads one to question initial decision making
Not all bad but always consider your shipmate
From what I know Jewdonk never “tied” up at Acapulco

[NaturalBornHustler]

These TPC courses can be downright cheap in some places can't believe it. Scottsdale is like 6k a year no initiation fee...what? But TPC Monaco is 65k up front and 10k a year, most expensive one I saw by far.

Other nice ones in the states are pretty reasonable as well. But this Cartegena one is sick as shit. Has 3 holes right on the Carribbean, was just built in 2014 designed by Nicklaus, tips out at 7200yds.....I'd pay 25k up front and 10k a year all day long for that. I would be there 4-5 days a week easy.

Need to do some more research on the actual city. Not trying to be in cartel land, but that is in the jungles and rural parts I think. 1m population in city so nice sized.

[cleatus]

Check out Uruguay. Is far away. Total military personnel under 25K. Electricity is 97% renewable and cheap, not subject to OPEC and USA whims. The growth, use, and sale of cannabis was legalized on 11 December 2013, making Uruguay the first country in the world to fully legalize marijuana.

[limitles]

Seriously, I’d try Ireland if they’re accepting. Golf, golf, Guinness, golf, repeat.
And I think they’re ok with yanks.

It’s mild year round and Spain is an hour away

Ahh yes a paradise of 50 degrees and rain and/or clouds year round. In a socialist utopia. My ultimate final destination.

Have another shot.

Another heads up; your political bent is very specific to yourcurrent address. You’re not a missionary I hope.

Wherever you land you are a nothing. If you’re not on the links you are in a different world. No Español = Target
Columbia is number one in many categories. Look them up