Crazy is always going to crazy, so here we go:
Scar on leg: Druff's fault ✅
Scar on neck: Druff's fault ✅
Loss of 10 pounds: Druff's fault ✅
Breaks up with boyfriend: Druff's fault ✅
Can't afford any 2023 WSOP buy-ins: Druff's fault ✅
Bad beat at the $1-2 tables in Vegas in Summer 2023: Druff's fault ✅
Not welcome at live-stream(s): Druff's fault ✅
Eviction*: Druff's fault ✅
Car mechanical problems: Druff's fault ✅
Headache: Druff's fault ✅
* just kidding, in SF these days, no one gets forcibly evicted for any reason, ever.