Originally Posted by
LIONINSIDE
My next story Mapquest to Montreal is taking awhile to write. So I'll drop a short one right here before I pack and fly back to MA tomorrow.
[CAUTION: Raw, erotic content]
I probably shouldn't post this filth, but I am convinced that I have some form of cancer and don't have a whole lot of time left.
And guess what? I don't want, and won't accept, one goddamn dime from anyone. Including family. I'm not going to live the rest of my life the way my mom did for four years. No way. Let's just get this motherfucker over with.
Jami Lafay, though. The poker community should totally rally around her and ship her the $50,000. lol, CUNT!
I understand that the readers here aren't the greatest demographic for this advice, but I'll be happy if just one person can benefit from LION'S tips on Attraction, Getting laid on first dates, and First date secks.
Re: Attraction
Smile. Not just with your mouth. With your eyes too. Your whole face. Be jolly (gay word i know). This applies to more than just picking up women. Phone conversations as well (people can sense when you're smiling over the phone.) Job interviews, gripes with supervisors over hotel curtain rods, etc. Trust me on this. You should see the normally standoff-ish black and Indian (dot) chicks light-up when I walk into Food Lion to buy my daily case of beer.
Re: Getting laid on first dates
Don't just bring a woman out to a nice restaurant, drive her home, and expect to be invited inside. Have at least one spot in mind to go afterwards if the dinner goes well (and you feel that she isn't carrying any STDs of course.) I don't quite understand the psychology, but the more places you take her, the more comfortable the girl will feel. 'Kuntmissioner' posted a nice video earlier in this thread. Which is the PERFECT place to spend the next couple of hours after dinner. A nice jazz club or soft music venue.
You're almost guaranteed to go home with the girl after sitting down for awhile listening to this type of music.
Re: First date secks
If you're interested in the girl and want to see her again, the goal is to give her the most passionate, beautiful, loving she's ever had.
Once you get nakey and are in bed, give her kisses all over her entire body (except her feet, EW!). You definitely want to hit the tickle spots like her neck and nibble on her earlobes. And you must go down south and eat her out for a little while. Avoid licking the bunghole until the 4th or 5th date, otherwise she'll think you're a fucking weirdo.
When it's GO-TIME, don't take a break to find the condom in your pants pocket in the dark. And fumble around opening the thing and getting it on your dick. MOOD KILLER. We're all just animals and sex is natural. Just go for it. I'm not a perv who meets chicks on tinder as I mentioned previously. I've been with less than 20 women in my life. Almost every one-nighter, which turned into much longer than that, have never asked me to put a rubber on, and were perfectly fine with it raw. Kind of surprising to me, but whatever. Great!
The tough part is not cumming as soon as you stick your dick in that delicious bass. So here's what the LION does....
MATH.
ah
"369 times 43.... 1,133 divided by 16." Until I get over the hump. And then I have total control of my wiener and can pound the puss until I feel she's satisfied. Then I'll get myself going and when it's time, I'll pull out and jerk off all over her.
I should probably "burn after writing" this post. But whatever.
I'll be back in MA tomorrow night. country978, we should meet up at the Diamond Inn sometime soon, NOT do coke, pick up some bimbos, take a photo to post on PFA, and maybe be lucky enough to witness a "Dyke Fight".