Great food and cocktail thread

[Vwls]

This is a thread to post your best recipes in. Try to take pics of your masterpieces when you share your recipe, and also bring your signature cooking/grilling secrets!



I'm starting it off with something so simple, but so delicious - the Bloody Cerveza with fresh lime, and made-from-scratch guacamole. This is one of our family favorites, especially when there's a good game on.

World’s Best Guacamole
Another great recipe in the Football Couch Potato Series

You’ll need:
8 ripe avocados
4 cloves fresh garlic, pressed or finely chopped
½ of a large onion
3 Serrano chilies, chopped finely (you can add some finely chopped Habanero too if you like it HOT)
2 ripe, firm tomatoes, chopped into small cubes
Chopped cilantro
¼ cup pomegranate seeds
½ of a fresh lime
Salt
Plenty of fresh tortilla chips

Beer
Clamato
More lime

Cut the avocados in half, remove the pits, and spoon the halves into a large bowl. Add the garlic, onion, Serranos, tomato, a handful of chopped cilantro (if you're lazy, just use fresh-made pico de gallo from the supermarket in the veggie aisle) and pomegranate seeds: mix with a large spoon. Do not mash. The mixing process will break the avocado up perfectly. Salt to taste and squeeze the lime on top – mix again.

Serve with fresh tortilla chips and an ice cold cerveza. (You can make your own tortilla chips by slicing up fresh-made tortillas and frying them in oil till crispy.)

Bloody beer is fantastic with this – for an amazing blend, mix one part plain Clamato with two parts beer, and squeeze in the juice of a whole fresh lime. Believe it or not, you don't have to use Mexican beer, or even light beer. Try it with a Newcastle - you'll be very pleased.

Salud!

[Fergie72]

Looks awfully good!

I suck at cooking, so I rarely do it. My wife DID just compliment me on the PB&J sandwich I just made her though. That is about the extent of my talents in the kitchen.

[tyde]

Glad you started this thread Angel..

FYI, I am a huge pork fan, and have been experimenting with all kinds of different cuts and various recipes over the years. I make pork chops about 50 different ways now, but roasts tend to be nice and tender, and if you slow cook them properly, it can be a religious experience.

So last week I got this beautiful 2 pound shoulder roast that had just the right amount of fat. (I don't like it too lean, that's no fun)

Now I like to mix up the spices quite a bit, but wanted to try something really unique and started looking around for slow roast recipes. I found one that caught my eye, but was missing a few ingredients and decided to improvise:

The 1st step is a quick cold water rinse, and then I hammered it with generous doses of garlic powder, onion powder, coarse black pepper, and brown sugar and a little bit of garlic salt. Rubbed it deeply so it really soaks in the outer layer. Then I added 3 minced fresh garlic cloves and some finely diced red jalapeno peppers and made sure everything was evenly distributed on the top 2/3 of the roast.

Then I added some chopped green peppers, celery and diced red onions and layered the bottom portion of a deep roasting pan and set the roast on top, adding one cup of water and baked it for about 40 minutes uncovered.

After 40 minutes, I pulled it out and added one can of whole peeled tomatoes and crushed them up so the juices settled in the bottom of the pan soaked up the flavor from the diced veggies, and the natural juices from off the roast. Then covered it and reduced the heat to 275 and just let it slow roast for about another 90 minutes


Cut into thin slices and serve over white rice with all the veggies and natural juices from the pan

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

Glad you started this thread Angel..

FYI, I am a huge pork fan, and have been experimenting with all kinds of different cuts and various recipes over the years. I make pork chops about 50 different ways now, but roasts tend to be nice and tender, and if you slow cook them properly, it can be a religious experience.

So last week I got this beautiful 2 pound shoulder roast that had just the right amount of fat. (I don't like it too lean, that's no fun)

Now I like to mix up the spices quite a bit, but wanted to try something really unique and started looking around for slow roast recipes. I found one that caught my eye, but was missing a few ingredients and decided to improvise:

The 1st step is a quick cold water rinse, and then I hammered it with generous doses of garlic powder, onion powder, coarse black pepper, and brown sugar and a little bit of garlic salt. Rubbed it deeply so it really soaks in the outer layer. Then I added 3 minced fresh garlic cloves and some finely diced red jalapeno peppers and made sure everything was evenly distributed on the top 2/3 of the roast.

Then I added some chopped green peppers, celery and diced red onions and layered the bottom portion of a deep roasting pan and set the roast on top, adding one cup of water and baked it for about 40 minutes uncovered.

After 40 minutes, I pulled it out and added one can of whole peeled tomatoes and crushed them up so the juices settled in the bottom of the pan soaked up the flavor from the diced veggies, and the natural juices from off the roast. Then covered it and reduced the heat to 275 and just let it slow roast for about another 90 minutes


Cut into thin slices and serve over white rice with all the veggies and natural juices from the pan

Do you still drown your chops in oil? Honestly Marty, you're a fucking awful cook. You should skip over this thread in the future.

[tyde]

[QUOTE=RichardBrodiesCombover.;3120]

Do you still drown your chops in oil? Honestly Marty, you're a fucking awful cook. You should skip over this thread in the future.

do you know what would be GREAT ???

is being able to post in ONE thread without being trolled by some dupe pussy like this

keep chasing me around and being totally worthless and forgettable you brainless little pubescent fag

people wonder why I dominate the forums

ignorant cum stains like yourself are the reason

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

[QUOTE=GOD;3122]

Do you still drown your chops in oil? Honestly Marty, you're a fucking awful cook. You should skip over this thread in the future.

do you know what would be GREAT ???

is being able to post in ONE thread without being trolled by some dupe pussy like this

keep chasing me around and being totally worthless and forgettable you brainless little pubescent fag

people wonder why I dominate the forums

ignorant cum stains like yourself are the reason

You're still a mentally challenged faggot who "thinks" he's a DECENT cook. Denial plays a big part in your life, Marty.

[Vwls]

Please take this argument to a new thread and leave this one for recipes.

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

Sorry, can't let this faggot ruin a food thread with his "food".

[gauchojake]

Please take this argument to a new thread and leave this one for recipes.

JFC...my thoughts exactly. If marty is taking the time to post recipes, just leave it alone already.

[tyde]

not even going to bother with you after this post you fucking peasant

If Druff is smart he will start shit-canning worthless posters like yourself who serve no purpose here other than to troll and offer nothing of substance

make a post about food and drink or get the fuck out of this thread

sorry Vwls, not much I can do about cockroaches like this

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

Please take this argument to a new thread and leave this one for recipes.

JFC...my thoughts exactly. If marty is taking the time to post recipes, just leave it alone already.

Oh yeah, 'cuz Marty's time is soooo precious. SMH

[tyde]

Sorry, can't let this faggot ruin a food thread with his "food".

Hey idiot...

I guess you missed where I talked in depth about going to culinary school in Maryland for almost 2 years and sailing as a Chief Steward on deep-sea vessels for the better part of 4 years as a department head. (right about the same time you were in the 7th grade)

My responsibilities included writing all menus, doing detailed calorie count reports, ordering provisions and supervising a crew of 7. I have extensive experience in industrial sized kitchens and galleys and was responsible for feeding 110 hungry U.S. Marines for a 29 day trip at sea bound for Korea. I fed 35-50 people (3) times a day for the better part of 4 years.

One drunk video when I fried up a couple of pork chops in my kitchen for your entertainment certainly doesn't define my culinary experience. You are clearly a moron who couldn't be bothered to microwave a Hungry-Man dinner so please get the fuck out of this thread

[tony bagadonuts]

Marty can cook. You may or may not like the recipe but to suggest otherwise is just trolling.

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

Marty can cook. You may or may not like the recipe but to suggest otherwise is just trolling.

Not gonna make Vwls cry by continuing with Marty. However, Marty likes to glorify everything he does to make himself feel better about his life.

He can't cook and that's a fact.







Mac & Cheese recipe, enjoy.

-Preheat oven to 375
-Cut 4 slices of white bread into 1"x1" squares. Pour three tablespoons of butter onto the bread and toos to coat.
-Begin to warm five cups of milk.
-Melt six tablespoons of butter in a skillet. When butter begins to bubble add half a cup of flour slowly.
-Cook on med heat for about 2 mins stirring slowly.
-Slowly stir in the hot milk. Mix well. Cook for about 7 mins.
-Remove from heat and add 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg, 1/4 teaspoon of black pepper. Stir then add 3 cups of extra sharp cheddar and 1 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese.
-Cook Macaroni per instructions on package.
-Stir macaroni into cheese sauce.
-Pour into a greased pan and sprinkle 1/2 cup of the cheddar and 1/2 cup of the Parmesan.
-Sprinkle bread crumbs on top and bake for 30 mins.

[tyde]

a standard menu on the ships would go something along these lines....





Breakfast

fresh fruit....oatmeal and cream of wheat.. juices
fresh croissants....granola (other cereals)....muffins etc

eggs any style
grilled ham or sausage or bacon
omelets
french toast and pancakes

coffee and tea and hot chocolate

(very straight forward breakfast menu) On Sundays I'd usually make eggs benedict and crepes




Lunch

always a homemade soup (minestrone, clam chowder, split pea with ham hocks etc)

3 entrees (usually a sandwich, a pasta course, and a hot plate)

Turkey Club sandwich
Rigatoni with sausage meatballs and marinara saunce
roast turkey with dressing and natural gravy

(a potato that compliments one of the entries)

two veggies (buttered green beans and sweet corn on the cob)

dessert (Id usually make a fruit pie in the mornings while getting breakfast prepped) or a cake, or ice cream sundae



Dinner

(3 full entrees) beef , chicken or pork, and fish


sliced flank steak with garlic butter sauce
pork tenderloin with roasted baby red potatoes
broiled Alaskan salmon with Bearnaise sauce and lemon

(two starches) baked potatoes or white rice

dessert


_______



you get the idea

I just threw that one together off the top of my head, but I was writing menus like that and preparing all kinds of different foods for a long time. But 10 years was enough of that shit. I hung it up professionally back in 1998

Most of my expertise is more 'blue collar' type of fare. I'm by no means a specialty chef or into exotic foods. The menus and food we prepared for the crew were very straight forward. I think I'm at my best with Mexican and Italian food. Never learned much about Asian techniques though.

Huge difference cooking for yourself in a small apartment kitchen, as opposed to having access to walk in freezers with every cut of meat imaginable and huge reefers full of fresh vegetables and a fully functional industrial kitchen.

[tyde]

Yea I only made my living preparing 3 and 4 course meals all over the world for almost a decade. I feel pretty good about that.

But if it makes you feel better about yourself thinking I can't cook . knock yourself out champ

nice mac and cheese recipe by the way

and that burger was fucking amazing LOL @ having that on your hard drive or knowing where to find that pic that I posted like 8 months ago. creepy

btw

chopped red onions
toasted bun
fresh ground beef patty lightly seasoned
sliced tomato
mayo
pickle relish
sliced cheese
fresh iceberg lettuce


epic fail you should dig up and post that particular picture, because that burger was absolutely delicious

[RichardBrodiesCombover.]

Yea I only made my living preparing 3 and 4 course meals all over the world for almost a decade. I feel pretty good about that.

But if it makes you feel better about yourself thinking I can't cook . knock yourself out champ

nice mac and cheese recipe by the way

and that burger was fucking amazing LOL @ having that on your hard drive or knowing where to find that pic that I posted like 8 months ago. creepy

btw

chopped red onions
toasted bun
fresh ground beef patty lightly seasoned
sliced tomato
mayo
pickle relish
sliced cheese
fresh iceberg lettuce


epic fail you should dig up and post that particular picture, because that burger was absolutely delicious

The fact that you chopped your onions for a hamburger is pure lol.

[Vwls]

Another Lazy Gourmet Recipe - Chic Cheese and Crackers

The trick here is to impress your guests with something that tastes fantastic and gourmet, but that took you little to no time to prepare (and with minimum suffering to the wallet).

Easy enough – you’ll need a bottle of dry red wine with this snack, preferably a cab or red zin.

To buy:

Ritz Toasted Sweet Home Sour Cream & Onion “Chips”
Fresh-picked basil (or buy at Trader Joe’s)
Small fresh-picked or heirloom tomatoes (if you can’t get either, get the organic tomatoes on the vine from Trader Joe’s – they have the most flavor outside the first two choices)

[shopping note to novice lazy gourmets: tomatoes should be quite firm to the touch, not squishy - don’t be afraid to touch them all till you find what you want!)

Package of Primo Taglio Goat Cheese (Shopper’s hint – this cheese is a LOT cheaper at Fresh ‘N Easy markets than at the other big chains. No idea why.)
Course-grind fresh cracked black pepper

Slice the tomatoes and crack black pepper on them.
Pile a chunk of goat cheese on each cracker.
Add a slice of tomato to each goat-cheesed cracker.
Top with a young basil leaf.
Serve

As with all budget/lazy gourmet recipes, experiment with other items you have lying around the house. Another cracker will do just fine in this recipe, but the Ritz crackers pack a LOT of flavor, so if you choose something milder, be sure to add an ingredient that returns fullness and zest to the snack.

Enjoy!

[Vwls]

HOW TO MAKE A RIDICULOUSLY GOOD CAPPUCCINO AT HOME ON A BUDGET (this is way better than Starbucks):

Prepare a full cup of strong espresso. It doesn't matter what brand of bean you buy, but get a nice dark whole bean, and grind it yourself right before brewing. Fill the espresso maker's grounds cup to capacity - make sure it is ground fine.

Note: if you don't have an espresso maker, GET ONE. I promise you don't need to spend a lot of money - I have tried the expensive brands and the cheap brands and dollar for dollar (unless you are buying a restaurant quality machine for over $3000), Mr. Coffee espresso makers are sufficient. They sell for under $30 at Target, WalMart, or even some supermarkets. They truly make a perfect cup of espresso - better than some of the higher priced competitors for the simple reason that their grounds cups are large enough to produce the right strength espresso. The only thing that sucks about them is they don't produce hot or strong enough steam to create a stiff foam from your milk or cream, but that doesn't matter because I'm about to tell you how to get the best stiff foam in the least expensive possible way. So buy the Mr. Coffee. While you’re there, buy the matching coffee bean grinder. No need to spend more than $30 each on these.

OK so you should have your full cup of espresso brewing now. (Please don’t use tap water unless you live in New York.) In a tall clear glass, pour about 1/4 cup of Nestle's Coffee Mate vanilla cream. (Don't buy the cheaper brands - they have a weird aftertaste. The same goes for the sugar or fat free vanilla creamers - don't buy those - this recipe isn't about being low calorie; it's about being delicious).

Add an equal amount of skim or low fat milk to the vanilla creamer, and microwave for one minute. Use a hand held frother on the hot creamy mixture till it froths to the top of the tall glass. I don’t recommend the higher priced Nespresso variety frothers because they are a pain in the ass to clean, cost too much, and don’t last more than a year. The “Café Froth Turbo” pictured here runs on 4 AA batteries and froths like a champ. Super cheap to buy, the batteries last for months even with daily use, and it cleans up in one minute.

By this point, your espresso should be fully brewed. Pour it into an appropriate cappuccino glass or cup to the halfway point. Using a large spoon to trap the foam that is on top in the tall glass, pour the warm milky liquid from the bottom portion of your frothed milk into the espresso till there is about an inch or two of room left. Then use your spoon to move the foam on top of your cappuccino. Top with a tiny bit of fresh ground cinnamon – not too much (the cinnamon is for aroma when you go to take a sip, not for flavor).

The smooth sweet vanilla creaminess of this foam is out of this world, and you will become addicted. You can also add a shot of brandy or tequila to this concoction for a hot cocktail.

Enjoy!

[chinamaniac]

Rice pilaf

1 3/4 cups of water, tablespoon of I can't believe it's not butter,

Bring to boil

add rice and mix

Move to low for 20 mins

BOOM, delicious!