*** OFFICIAL *** 2022 ABSOLUTE HURRICANE APOCALYPSE THREAD *** OFFICIAL ***

[sonatine]

FOLKS AN OFFICIAL TGULL WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED PLEASE OBSERVE SONATINE PROTOCOL 3 AND FLEE THE PREDICTED IMPACT AREA +20%. ONLY EAT / DRINK NON PERISHABLE ITEMS IN SEALED CONTAINERS, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING AT ALL, DO NOT LOOK UP WITH UNCOVERED EYES OR OPEN MOUTH, EVERYTHING WILL BE TOTALLY INFECTED AND POSSIBLY RADIOACTIVE AND WITH THIS HUMIDITY THERE WILL BE CONDENSATION CARRYING INFECTIOUS / TOXIC PARTICULATE BACK TO THE GROUND.

BEFORE ENTERING AN AREA OF SEMI PERMANENT SECURITY DISCARD CLOTHES SHAVE ALL BODY HAIR SCRUB EXPOSED SKIN AND AVOID TRACKING THE WASTE WATER INTO THE SECURE AREA.

DO NOT INVITE OR ALLOW STRANGERS INTO THE SECURE AREA.

DO NOT ASSUME POLICE CHECK POINTS ARE MANNED BY ACTUAL POLICE, DO NOT ASSUME MILITARY CHECKPOINTS ARE MANNED BY ACTUAL MILITARY. OBEY ORDERS BUT MAINTAIN RAPID EGRESS OPTIONS.

PETS SHOULD BE CONSUMED BEFORE NON PERISHABLE GOODS. DO NOT CONSUME ABANDONED PETS / LIVESTOCK / ANIMALS EXPOSED TO ELEMENTS. THEY WILL LIKELY BE SATURATED BY HEAVY METALS AND / OR RADIOACTIVITY WITHIN HOURS OF HURRICANES LANDING.

DRINK URINE INSTEAD OF RAIN WATER FOR 72 HOURS AFTER HURRICANES PASSING.

BODIES OF HUMANS AND ANIMALS SHOULD BE WRAPPED IN PLASTIC AND TAPED SHUT AND KEPT IN AN AREA PHYSICALLY SEPARATED UNTIL THEY CAN BE BURIED OFF-SITE SAFELY.

NEGATIVE AIR PRESSURE PROTOCOLS SHOULD BE OBSERVED.

[sonatine]

EVERYONE ON THE WEST COAST OF FLORIDA AND CENTRAL GULF WILL LIKELY BE DEAD BY NEXT FRIDAY.







DO NOT EAT THEIR CORPSES NO MATTER HOW HUNGRY YOU GET. BETTER TO FOCUS ON ANY LIVING PETS YOU CAN FORAGE AND COOK THEM UNTIL THE VIRAL / BACTERIAL COCKTAILS RAVAGING THEM ARE ESSENTIALLY CARBONIZED.

[devidee]

[Sanlmar]

We giving Chaps some kind of send off?

[sonatine]

chaps so stoked that something with a female name cares enough to inconvenience him.

[Dan Druff]

175 kph just outside Halifax?

Ouch.

We can't lose Chaps after all we've been through with him.

[Sloppy Joe]

175 kph just outside Halifax?

Ouch.

We can't lose Chaps after all we've been through with him.

Someone please send him cash for that $100 Amazon gift card so our guy can live it up.

[ftpjesus]

We giving Chaps some kind of send off?

Have family in NS hope they get things situated soon. One is somewhat elderly (moms 1st cousin).

[Sanlmar]

Have family in NS hope they get things situated soon. One is somewhat elderly (moms 1st cousin).

I typically think of hurricanes as a warm water deal. Really interesting and a bit puzzling. I’m a hurricane noob so bear with me. Obviously the time has come to finally pay attention.

Hurricane Fiona could be ‘most intense storm on record’ to slam into Atlantic Canada

[ftpjesus]

Have family in NS hope they get things situated soon. One is somewhat elderly (moms 1st cousin).

I typically think of hurricanes as a warm water deal. Really interesting and a bit puzzling. I’m a hurricane noob so bear with me. Obviously the time has come to finally pay attention.

Hurricane Fiona could be ‘most intense storm on record’ to slam into Atlantic Canada

Canada Hurricane Centre basically said Fiona will be a hybrid storm with both Warm water and Baroclinic (normal coastal storms like NorEasters). In a way its going to be not quite a Sandy situation but close potentially. Talked to my cousin on FB they are battening down the hatches and shes making food for the likelyhood the power goes out.

[some user]

Joe B*den + hurricanes = disaster. Puerto Rico has been without power and water since sunday and sleepy Joe hasnt even bothered to stop by and atleast throw paper towels at the citizens.

It gets worse, Joe has already approved federal government funding for things like debris removal, water, food and shelter for the next month. What a loser. He has no idea what he is doing because any rational president would make a big statement about withholding these funds until Puerto Rico meets certain criteria (like praising joe for his response)

With hurricane Fiona heading toward Canada, the proper american thing to do is ignore it. HOWEVER tropical depression nine could become a major threat for Florida, the most important state in the country with regards to freedom(s)

Because d*mocrats only care about pronouns and raising taxes it looks like any help is gonna have to come from american patriots like Brett Favre who has proven he knows how to negotiate and secure funds to build broken and damaged infrastructure.

[sonatine]

Embedded Tweet

https://twitter.com/#!/x/status/1573351195669823489

[sonatine]

chaps' cat absolutely 100% going to feast on chaps' leathery rat face when this hurricane blows one of his off-brand mexican generic fruit loops through his forehead.

[DJ_Chaps]

chaps' cat absolutely 100% going to feast on chaps' leathery rat face when this hurricane blows one of his off-brand mexican generic fruit loops through his forehead.

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[sonatine]

HOW DARE YOU IN AN OFFICIAL HURRICANE THREAD NO LESS

[Sanlmar]

Sonatine gonna scoop a salvage title Tesla ….

[simpdog]

Druff will have to open the wallet for some banner ads on Canadian sites to replenish the posters who can provide him travel ideas.

[splitthis]

Put Trudeau in its path please. Fuck him.

[sonatine]

lmfao of course its named Ian


https://weather.com/safety/hurricane...a-cuba-caymans

[aayjay]

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