My underground poker experiences

[tgull]

These all happened from circa 2003 - 2007. They were certainly underground to say the least. When I say underground, they were not regulated by any means, in that the places were fronts, generally in strip centers. They had some small business in the lobby say consulting work but they never did any work. Then you would go behind the doors and you would see the operation, usually four tables or so, a kitchen and a dealer or two.

I walked into this place for the first time, I actually found it online. It was in a seedy part of town, I realized this was not a good idea but went in anyways. The place was sketchy, and I sat down and was immediately summoned by the 'owner'. He was like WTF are you doing here, I said I found this place online, it was really before cell phone technology so it was not like I could flash the website. He asked me who I knew, I said nobody, I just found the place online through some message board posts.

He paced back and forth and said ok, I could sit. I peeled off $500 which I thought would get everyone's attention, then I realized I was outmatched. Everyone had a LOT more than that. It was Omaha and at the time I had no idea how to play that game, so it was explained and I immediately went on a heater, set after set and I was nearly up $2K, total luck. The 'owner' came up to me and asked if I was hungry, and I was like sure, and in like 2 minutes a hamburger and fries came up to me, totally unexpected. The dealer was pretty hot and she was wearing exposed panties and she said what are you looking at, and I tossed her three $5 chips, I mean what were you going to do?

Then a guy came in, a Nazi, covered in tats. There was a Chinese guy at our table, non descript but fairly likable. I folded a hand to him and when the Nazi sat down he said he is Chinese so don't say nice hand. There was obviously history with them, and it got tense fast. The Nazi pulled out literally $5000 in hundreds and I was like I need to get the fuck out. So I did, and left with a few hundred bucks profit and came back a few days later.

To be continued.

[tgull]

So I went back a few days later, I was not doing well financially at the time. I was getting cremated online and decided to go back. It was Friday afternoon, I remember it well. Someone yelled out 'Hit and Run' when I walked in, I had no idea what that meant. The 'owner' just laughed and said not to pay attention, but I pressed him what it meant and he said there were some bruised feelings I took off after like three hours last session. Yeah, maybe, but fuck I was intimidated when the Nazi pulled out 5K and everyone had about that is well. I was new to live poker and I just had never seen that much cash at a table before, I mean is was nearly 20 years ago!

This time I sat down with $2,000 so I was middle stacked. This time they had a fucking buffet going, like a taco bar. There was some older lady there serving and naturally she had her hand out so I gave her 2 five dollar chips. I mean the food was decent, but I nowhere had $10 worth of food, but what are you going to do?

So here is the deal. I won a huge pot with four 7s, it was a luck box. Not only did I win, but it set me up for the community jackpot. I cant remember the terms, but it was the end of the month and because I had four of a kind, with 7s, I was due $5,000. There was something about the cards with 7s that was worth more than anything else, other than Kings. Anyways, there was some fucked up chart on the wall, and I went back the next day and for my $5,000 end of month, and this fat guy opened the door, made a call and apologized but someone hit 4 Kings apparently at 11pm. So I was fucked.

[limitles]

So I went back a few days later, I was not doing well financially at the time. I was getting cremated online and decided to go back. It was Friday afternoon, I remember it well. Someone yelled out 'Hit and Run' when I walked in, I had no idea what that meant. The 'owner' just laughed and said not to pay attention, but I pressed him what it meant and he said there were some bruised feelings I took off after like three hours last session. Yeah, maybe, but fuck I was intimidated when the Nazi pulled out 5K and everyone had about that is well. I was new to live poker and I just had never seen that much cash at a table before, I mean is was nearly 20 years ago!

This time I sat down with $2,000 so I was middle stacked. This time they had a fucking buffet going, like a taco bar. There was some older lady there serving and naturally she had her hand out so I gave her 2 five dollar chips. I mean the food was decent, but I nowhere had $10 worth of food, but what are you going to do?

So here is the deal. I won a huge pot with four 7s, it was a luck box. Not only did I win, but it set me up for the community jackpot. I cant remember the terms, but it was the end of the month and because I had four of a kind, with 7s, I was due $5,000. There was something about the cards with 7s that was worth more than anything else, other than Kings. Anyways, there was some fucked up chart on the wall, and I went back the next day and for my $5,000 end of month, and this fat guy opened the door, made a call and apologized but someone hit 4 Kings apparently at 11pm. So I was fucked.

Tharpt is just cray, but in my dream I got rib eye and garlic mashed potatoes

[tgull]

So this is it for the night, I have about 7 or 8 more get ups. After getting coolered by the 4 Kings, I was on massive tilt. I immediately got $1,000 out of the bank and went back. I was not even there for 20 minutes and spiked a set for a huge pot. But yeah, spade on the river and flushed out. I walked outside with every intention of driving to an ATM and getting another $300. Then I saw it, guy in a car. This was a strip center, and some guy just sitting in his car, it was cold.

There was a convenience Asian food store right next by. Not sure why I went in there, but got nervous and bought a couple items. Everything seemed off, even the clerk seemed tense, I just casually walked out and drove away. Turns out an hour later the place was raided and the owners and dealers were arrested, players were cited and funds were confiscated.

[tgull]

WTF, I'll give one more. This is actually pretty funny. I showed up at another place I found online, you have to remember this was like 2004 so it was not like you could find a lot of places to play poker underground. It was just different times.

Walked into the place and same environment, walk into a 'business' go through a fake lobby then tables, TVs, food, etc.. I got there at 7pm, much nicer area than the past and nicer retail next door. I immediately thought this place was a little too fancy but whatever. I got into a grudge match with a drunk who turned out he had 4 DWIs and joked if he got arrested again he'd be in jail for life. I am not moralizing, I am certainly no saint when it comes to alcohol, but fuck 4 DWIs?

Anyway, I was no saint and we killed a case of beer and cleaned out the rest of the table, there was nearly $5K left when it was just us. The dealer was done, and so was I but the drunk could not drive home and risk it. It was 6:45 am and his girlfriend was going to pick him up in 10 minutes, so we played a couple more hands. Yeah he pushed all in on a drunk flop, I had two pair. Runner, Runner clubs you would have thought he won the lottery. He scooped, I was pissed, etc..

So here where is gets good. I am hugely pissed and I called into work the day before 'sick', I knew I was having a late night and could do so. Literally as I am walking out to my car my then boss is walking it to the dry cleaners picking up his stuff. It's a million to one shot, apparently he lived a couple miles away. I briskly walked to my car and GTFO. I mean how the fuck could have I ever explained what I was doing leaving a non-descript building Tuesday at 7am, but whatever he did not see me.

[limitles]

WTF, I'll give one more. This is actually pretty funny. I showed up at another place I found online, you have to remember this was like 2004 so it was not like you could find a lot of places to play poker underground. It was just different times.

Walked into the place and same environment, walk into a 'business' go through a fake lobby then tables, TVs, food, etc.. I got there at 7pm, much nicer area than the past and nicer retail next door. I immediately thought this place was a little too fancy but whatever. I got into a grudge match with a drunk who turned out he had 4 DWIs and joked if he got arrested again he'd be in jail for life. I am not moralizing, I am certainly no saint when it comes to alcohol, but fuck 4 DWIs?

Anyway, I was no saint and we killed a case of beer and cleaned out the rest of the table, there was nearly $5K left when it was just us. The dealer was done, and so was I but the drunk could not drive home and risk it. It was 6:45 am and his girlfriend was going to pick him up in 10 minutes, so we played a couple more hands. Yeah he pushed all in on a drunk flop, I had two pair. Runner, Runner clubs you would have thought he won the lottery. He scooped, I was pissed, etc..

So here where is gets good. I am hugely pissed and I called into work the day before 'sick', I knew I was having a late night and could do so. Literally as I am walking out to my car my then boss is walking it to the dry cleaners picking up his stuff. It's a million to one shot, apparently he lived a couple miles away. I briskly walked to my car and GTFO. I mean how the fuck could have I ever explained what I was doing leaving a non-descript building Tuesday at 7am, but whatever he did not see me.

not funny nor true
go to bed

[jsearles22]

I’ve only played in a few underground games mostly just scamming cops upstate etc. One particular game I did get in deep. Luckily this crazy Russian donked off his stack to me while eating Oreos. I turned my ten grand into just over sixty, paid fifteen to some mob guy I owed, six went back to the loan I took, and after the ten going back to the professor I'm back where I started: three stacks of high society.

The game with the Russian was dumb. If I lost, he’s gonna have me killed. If I win, he loses to me. So he is in a no-win situation really. It twas a fucking joke anyways.

[sonatine]

i once got bought into some kush UG game run by a hedge fund manager and after a few hands, i had to literally go to my car to sweat out some mickey they slipped me but i was doing a lot of ball-sunning and parkour at the time so that wasnt going to stop me long.

went back in, busted hedgies house with a straight flush i binked with rags, and he started crying blood lmaoooooooo.

i hear his backers came for him that night, apparently this guy was deep in the red and was gambling with his clients funds to get well again.

couldnt be me.

[DJ_Chaps]

The room was dark, you could barely see the guy across the table from ya, even without the clouds of smoke billowing constantly. Butt smoke, roach joint, whatever you can imagine at this place. I had just taken a beat for my $12.75 stack, when middle pair couldn’t get there against top set. I’m tilting, but confident I can get revenge. So as I reach into my pocket for my last fiver, I suggest upping stakes to .05/.10. Now let’s see who the real men are, I say out loud. The guys begrudgingly accept, and within a few orbits I’m sitting pretty on a stack of roughly 23 bucks. You couldn’t beat the grin of my face. I look at my watch, and realize I have to be at my vaccine appointment at 9am and it’s now 3am. I flick the dealer a white chip, leaving myself $22 big ones. I didn’t tip the other 2 cuz I wanted to use it to buy a bag of milk on the way home. Live like the king I was that night, ya know?

[tgull]

Not much of a story on this one, but still noteworthy. I was at a Mexican restaurant for lunch and my buddy whom I ate with noticed my left taillight was out. I saw the engine light was on so I knew something was up. He basically said get that fixed you never know, he was right. Begrudgingly I went into one of those places that sells autoparts and the guy looked at it and handed me a light part it was like 4 bucks. He also gave me a screw driver to fix it on site.

So I went to the same poker spot mentioned above and I got pretty shitfaced and busted, I was pissed. Lost another set if I remember. The fucking 7-11 ATM across the street was blank screened so I had no choice but to hop in my SUV and haul to a bank. Yes, I was probably over the limit, more tired than anything else, it was midnight but yeah I had like 8 beers in me.

So I am driving and a cop is right behind me, an inch from my bumper. If my taillight has still been out immediate sirens. I looked in the rear view and he was just dying to pull me over. I went into the ATM drive through and he pulled next to me and stared, I was just doing my thing, he just pulled away.

He would have got a collar if my taillight was still out, but my friend the same day alerted me to this. Funny thing was the poker room was closing down when I reentered, just not enough players, so I left. Nothing eventful on this story other than I saved a few thousand on a DWI because my friend alerted me of the burned out light.

[jsearles22]

Not much of a story on this one, but still noteworthy. I was at a Mexican restaurant for lunch and my buddy whom I ate with noticed my left taillight was out. I saw the engine light was on so I knew something was up. He basically said get that fixed you never know, he was right. Begrudgingly I went into one of those places that sells autoparts and the guy looked at it and handed me a light part it was like 4 bucks. He also gave me a screw driver to fix it on site.

So I went to the same poker spot mentioned above and I got pretty shitfaced and busted, I was pissed. Lost another set if I remember. The fucking 7-11 ATM across the street was blank screened so I had no choice but to hop in my SUV and haul to a bank. Yes, I was probably over the limit, more tired than anything else, it was midnight but yeah I had like 8 beers in me.

So I am driving and a cop is right behind me, an inch from my bumper. If my taillight has still been out immediate sirens. I looked in the rear view and he was just dying to pull me over. I went into the ATM drive through and he pulled next to me and stared, I was just doing my thing, he just pulled away.

He would have got a collar if my taillight was still out, but my friend the same day alerted me to this. Funny thing was the poker room was closing down when I reentered, just not enough players, so I left. Nothing eventful on this story other than I saved a few thousand on a DWI because my friend alerted me of the burned out light.

You lost at poker and then drove drunk. I can believe that story.