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Thread: limitles stories

  1. #1
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    limitles stories

    This is a place marker because just thinking about my history/stories triggers anxiety.
    No bullshit. Bullshit is not required if you’re me.

    I’m going to start with the latest of bunch and we’ll see how it goes………..maybe tomorrow
    I’ll keep it legal, as best I can
    Last edited by limitles; 05-26-2021 at 07:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limitles View Post
    This is a place marker because just thinking about my history/stories triggers anxiety.
    No bullshit. Bullshit is not required if you’re me.

    I’m going to start with the latest of bunch and we’ll see how it goes………..maybe tomorrow
    I’ll keep it legal, as best I can
    I gave up on this thread shortly after posting. Stories are better being told than read as far as I go.
    But I've had some incredible bad/good luck lately so here is the latest.

    I'm away. I'm free of the the witch, she's out of my life. Long story short I'm in a new location. Beautiful. Buy a mountain bike. Day three I hit the trails, get turned around and wind up facing a steep decline to the highway. I take it but me and the bike lose out to gravity and slide our way down. This is when dumb gets stupid.

    I gather myself and start off...... but in the wrong direction. This is hard to do but it happened. I biked for miles before
    a road sign said turn around idiot. The route I took all told was some 20 miles and when I get back I reach for my keys and they are not there. Here's the route

    Name:  keys.png
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Size:  70.2 KB

    No spares. Key fob replacements are 700 bucks minimum and I'm going to need a rental car.

    I retrace, back to the hill. The keys have to be there. Nope. Spent a half hour on that hill.
    This all started at 8:30 a.m. and it's now 1 to 2.

    I decide to retrace my route in the opposite direction (route 19A) for no good reason. I make it maybe a third of the total route and face this.
    Name:  IMG_1755.jpg
Views: 216
Size:  2.67 MB

    I'm dead tired. I start down this highway to hell and quickly say fuck it. I pull a u turn in short order only to glance upon my keys on the highway shoulder. Had I turned around 5 seconds sooner I would have missed them. I sang this song all the way home


     
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      Zap_the_Fractions_Giraffe: fuck yah
    Last edited by limitles; 06-02-2021 at 10:53 PM.

  3. #3
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    We’ll it didn’t take long for another limitles story to come along. This one happened two days ago and equals or beats all stories that I have not revealed.

    I know when I relay these stories I will not just entertain but be prosecuted for the the stupid moves on my part. Hindsight experts no longer bother me. So stay tuned

    The most recent incident almost cost me some big dollars.
    I will tell all but not tonight

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    Hurricane Expert tgull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limitles View Post
    We’ll it didn’t take long for another limitles story to come along. This one happened two days ago and equals or beats all stories that I have not revealed.

    I know when I relay these stories I will not just entertain but be prosecuted for the the stupid moves on my part. Hindsight experts no longer bother me. So stay tuned

    The most recent incident almost cost me some big dollars.
    I will tell all but not tonight
    I thought you jumped off a bridge?

  5. #5
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    As promised I would tell of the latest and as it turns out the most scary limitles story.

    I'm in a new town, Saskatoon and I'm in the Office of Rental Tenancies building/preparing for a case against a lying scumbag landlord.

    I hate iPhones and use them rarely but have it on hand. While in this government building I get a random call from the Canadian Import and Securities office telling me my name and address have been flagged for an imported package containing the illegal importation of several kilos of cocaine and 94,000 dollars.

    My past is not one of a choir boy so I'm paying attention. I'm slightly relieved when I'm told they believe I am a victim of social insurance number/bank fraud. They tell me it's likely my social insurance number has been used to open a number of bank accounts and credit cards, all used to import cocaine etc.

    I'm told that there is a current warrant out for my arrest. I tell them I am two blocks from a local police station and will be happy to come in and discuss the situation.

    They respond, rather aggressively, that if I come into the local station they would be obligated to place me under arrest. At this point I start to talk back, which they did not like. I asked the clerk at the rental association office for the local police station phone number and asked that someone from the station call and verify this story. I am not cell phone savvy. Within minutes a call from the local police station comes through confirming everything said by the border patrol officer..........

    Now I'm hooked. Knowing I did nothing of the sort I still do not want to sit in a cell and hire a lawyer for something not related to me.


    to be continued
    Last edited by limitles; 09-20-2021 at 12:26 AM.

  6. #6
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    So I am hooked. My offer of going to the local cop shop was shot down as they say there will be no option but to put me in custody.

    As I am in a new town, even though it's my home province, I'm kinda lost/out of my element and my history of ordering illegal substances has me in a tough spot. Having my name and social insurance number linked to this supposed crime has me worried. There were red flags aplenty. Both men I talked to had heavy south Asian accents, i.e. Baboo. But in Saskatchewan and Canada generally it's rare that a service provider is not a native born Canadian. They were quite aggressive as well and I was in a public environment. The kicker was my bank account and Social Insurance number were about to be frozen. No money would be available and proof of my identity was going to be off limits for a good while. I'm in a new province where both are required for such things as getting a hotel room or purchasing a house

    Their interim solution, because they believe I am a victim of hacking, is to withdraw the maximum amount allowed($10,000) per day and deposit it into a safe wallet which will be accessible through a QR code that will be texted to me.

    I'm in a bind. I need access to my money but I'm very skeptical. I take the bait and go to the bank, with the "officer" on the line guiding me through the process. Banks here and probably everywhere are suspicious of large withdrawals so I'm told to say it's for a wedding. They give me 5 grand in cash at the teller station and say I can take another 5 out at the bank machine. I do both and am still on the line with this "officer" holding 10 g's in cash.

    Now I'm given directions as to where to deposit this money using the QR code so I will have access to it while my account is frozen. This is where they blew it. The street name is something something 22nd Ave North. They could not present this address as you would if you lived in the city. They went on and on about 2 thousand this or that and it was like talking to a foreigner clueless to the local lingo. Still, I start to ride, I'm on my bike, to the destination and the guy is still on the line. I start second guessing the whole story and tell him I'm coming into the local police station regardless of what warnings they gave me.

    Ten minutes from the AMT destination I stop. I ask again for the name and badge number of my contact, Nate Shaw. I had to get him to spell it out is accent was so thick. A google search took about 5 minutes to reveal this guy was an infamous phone scammer. Nate Shaw. right. As good as they were with the tag team phone calls and texts, they stuck with names like Nate Shaw and Bob Williams. I screamed a loud fuck you and went back to the bank to redeposit.

    Stupid......yes. I am not phone savvy and when I got a call from the local police station confirming there was a warrant out for my arrest I figured this was going to take a while to clear up at best.

    My relief was so great I went to the nearest casino and put down a grand on 00 at the roulette wheel. No that's the fantasy part.

    More limitles stories to come, cause there is such a thing as a statute of limitations and I never took anything from any one, ever.

  7. #7
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      Walter Sobchak: Back at ya

  8. #8
    Inaugural Spring Classic Champion HoodedN's Avatar
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    These are better than the Karen Nathan stories tbh
    #ToddsPlan

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