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Thread: *** OFFICIAL *** LOL @ Portland Thread

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    *** OFFICIAL *** LOL @ Portland Thread

    This thread is long overdue.

    I'll kick it off with this one. Not a huge Charlie Kirk fan, but he's correct on this one...


    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1682181271164981248
    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1682181631501819904
    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1682181643304599553


    Democrats are the absolute worst at crime and punishment issues. Portland and San Francisco are the current shining examples of this.

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    Diamond dwai's Avatar
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    SLOPPY JOE IS THIS TRUE

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    Diamond Tellafriend's Avatar
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    ANSWER HIM SLOPS

     
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      dwai: lol

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    Diamond Sloppy Joe's Avatar
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    You cucks are several years late, this should have happened summer of 2020 after George Floyd riots.

    I live in the suburbs now but work downtown and will grab some pictures next week. There's an area I drive through that will make you think those Fox News reporters are cowards for avoiding; minus literal murder I've think I've seen it all now.

     
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      dwai:
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    Owner Dan Druff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloppy Joe View Post
    You cucks are several years late, this should have happened summer of 2020 after George Floyd riots.

    I live in the suburbs now but work downtown and will grab some pictures next week. There's an area I drive through that will make you think those Fox News reporters are cowards for avoiding; minus literal murder I've think I've seen it all now.
    Yes, definitely post pics.

    I hear all the Portland stories but would love to see some firsthand pictures.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sloppy Joe View Post
    You cucks are several years late, this should have happened summer of 2020 after George Floyd riots.

    I live in the suburbs now but work downtown and will grab some pictures next week. There's an area I drive through that will make you think those Fox News reporters are cowards for avoiding; minus literal murder I've think I've seen it all now.

    dipshit Ted Wheeler is currently in a dead heat with Lori Lightfoot for the worst mayor in the history of the country

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    All Sorts of Sports gut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyde View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sloppy Joe View Post
    You cucks are several years late, this should have happened summer of 2020 after George Floyd riots.

    I live in the suburbs now but work downtown and will grab some pictures next week. There's an area I drive through that will make you think those Fox News reporters are cowards for avoiding; minus literal murder I've think I've seen it all now.

    dipshit Ted Wheeler is currently in a dead heat with Lori Lightfoot for the worst mayor in the history of the country
    Should have seen who our dumb ass electorate voted to run against him last time. I angrily voted for Wheeler

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    Hurricane Expert tgull's Avatar
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    I posted this before, not sure the thread. But a few years ago I was in Portland with my family, and after being harassed by HIV+ drug users begging for money we went back to the Embassy Suites downtown for the weekend. Our goal was to experience the wonderful food carts we were told were a great and fun experience, bouncing from one truck to another eating the local fare.

    YEAH RIGHT. GIVE ME $5 I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR WEEKS BUMS SAY.

    There was some stupid fucking garden we went to, maybe it was good and famous, I don't remember. I just remember the place was encased on the outside like a moat with homeless and stunk like fucking shit on the outside, because there was shit all over the place. I was wearing open face sandals and feared getting clipped by a needle. Stopped for pizza on the way back, waitress had track marks.

    Never again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    I posted this before, not sure the thread. But a few years ago I was in Portland with my family, and after being harassed by HIV+ drug users begging for money we went back to the Embassy Suites downtown for the weekend. Our goal was to experience the wonderful food carts we were told were a great and fun experience, bouncing from one truck to another eating the local fare.

    YEAH RIGHT. GIVE ME $5 I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR WEEKS BUMS SAY.

    There was some stupid fucking garden we went to, maybe it was good and famous, I don't remember. I just remember the place was encased on the outside like a moat with homeless and stunk like fucking shit on the outside, because there was shit all over the place. I was wearing open face sandals and feared getting clipped by a needle. Stopped for pizza on the way back, waitress had track marks.

    Never again.

    solid trip report except you just wanted everybody on PFA to know you stayed at an Embassy Suites

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    Bronze Serial Fail's Avatar
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    I take a vacation to Oregon every year and, even though I don't stay in Portland I drive through it every year on the way to the beach. Coming back I usually cut through the city to avoid the miserable freeway traffic. Sitting at an intersection I saw a homeless lady come out of her little tarp house up against a fence, wearing no pants or underwear, holding a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.

    The city is fucking nuts.

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    Owner Dan Druff's Avatar
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    I just don't understand how people see what has become of major cities like Portland and SF, and think to themselves, "Yeah, I'm still voting Democrat. These are the type of politicians I want representing my interests."

    Modern blue cities should be all the evidence you need that Democrats have no fucking idea how to govern, even if you like their intentions.

     
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    All Sorts of Sports gut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    I posted this before, not sure the thread. But a few years ago I was in Portland with my family, and after being harassed by HIV+ drug users begging for money we went back to the Embassy Suites downtown for the weekend. Our goal was to experience the wonderful food carts we were told were a great and fun experience, bouncing from one truck to another eating the local fare.

    YEAH RIGHT. GIVE ME $5 I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR WEEKS BUMS SAY.

    There was some stupid fucking garden we went to, maybe it was good and famous, I don't remember. I just remember the place was encased on the outside like a moat with homeless and stunk like fucking shit on the outside, because there was shit all over the place. I was wearing open face sandals and feared getting clipped by a needle. Stopped for pizza on the way back, waitress had track marks.

    Never again.
    Lolol Welcome to Chinatown bitch!

    (kinda the same tourist trap since 30 years ago)

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    Diamond dwai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyde View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    I posted this before, not sure the thread. But a few years ago I was in Portland with my family, and after being harassed by HIV+ drug users begging for money we went back to the Embassy Suites downtown for the weekend. Our goal was to experience the wonderful food carts we were told were a great and fun experience, bouncing from one truck to another eating the local fare.

    YEAH RIGHT. GIVE ME $5 I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR WEEKS BUMS SAY.

    There was some stupid fucking garden we went to, maybe it was good and famous, I don't remember. I just remember the place was encased on the outside like a moat with homeless and stunk like fucking shit on the outside, because there was shit all over the place. I was wearing open face sandals and feared getting clipped by a needle. Stopped for pizza on the way back, waitress had track marks.

    Never again.

    solid trip report except you just wanted everybody on PFA to know you stayed at an Embassy Suites
    I bet he doesn't even have an Embassy Suites passport, how'd he get in?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyde View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    I posted this before, not sure the thread. But a few years ago I was in Portland with my family, and after being harassed by HIV+ drug users begging for money we went back to the Embassy Suites downtown for the weekend. Our goal was to experience the wonderful food carts we were told were a great and fun experience, bouncing from one truck to another eating the local fare.

    YEAH RIGHT. GIVE ME $5 I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR WEEKS BUMS SAY.

    There was some stupid fucking garden we went to, maybe it was good and famous, I don't remember. I just remember the place was encased on the outside like a moat with homeless and stunk like fucking shit on the outside, because there was shit all over the place. I was wearing open face sandals and feared getting clipped by a needle. Stopped for pizza on the way back, waitress had track marks.

    Never again.

    solid trip report except you just wanted everybody on PFA to know you stayed at an Embassy Suites
    He's told many iterations of this story before, the variables shift around but staying at the Embassy Suites is always present. Usually name drops Morton's Steakhouse as well.
    PokerFraudAlert...will never censor your claims, even if they're against one of our sponsors. In addition to providing you an open forum report fraud within the poker community, we will also analyze your claims with a clear head an unbiased point of view. And, of course, the accused will always have the floor to defend themselves.-Dan Druff

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    Owner Dan Druff's Avatar
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    Not to hijack the thread, but the decline of Morton's Steakhouse really saddened me.

    In the early 90s I was on a flight, travelling alone with a plane full of strangers. I passed the time by looking through the lol inflight magazine, and saw an ad for Morton's. It was advertising the Chicago location, which was the original. It didn't mention an LA location, which either didn't exist yet or just wasn't part of that ad. It looked so good in the pictures, and I wanted to try it, but I had no occasion to be in Chicago or the other cities advertised.

    Fast forward to 1997, and I finally got to try Morton's. It was the best steak I ever had. My then-girlfriend, who was dining with me that night, agreed about the steak. The sides were also all prepared perfectly, and each one of them tasty. The service was highly attentive and highly accurate. It was the steakhouse I had always dreamed of.

    For the rest of the '90s and early 2000s, I kept going to Morton's, both in Beverly Hills and Las Vegas. It was still excellent, though I started to notice a few cracks. The meals were no longer as flawless as they were in the '90s. Perhaps the most upsetting part was that the impeccable service, while still maintaining the air of phony friendliness, was now getting slower and more mistake-prone. I tried to convince myself that these were just outlier visits, and that Morton's was still great.

    However, in Phoenix in 2005, I finally realized the Morton's I once knew was no longer.

    I was dining with a large party, I think about 10 people. The entire meal was a comedy of errors -- even with a pitcher of ice water accidentally being poured on someone (fortunately not me). Every steak was either undercooked or overcooked. They kept bringing the wrong sides, forgetting custom instructions, and having to ask the table who ordered what. Even after the manager got involved and promised things would get better, they didn't. At the end of the meal, I was sure that the manager would be highly embarrassed about this complete service disaster, and either offer to comp the entire thing, or at least offer 50% off. Instead, he approached and said, "Sorry for all the trouble. I know this hasn't been our best night. How about free desserts for the table?"

    My heart sank. Not only was the meal frustrating and stressful for everyone, and a dude had ice water all over his pants, but it also took much longer because they couldn't get anyone's steaks right. We had a 4-figure bill and dude is talking about free dessert. Brutal.

    When I objected and asked if they could comp some of the meal, I got surprising (albeit polite) pushback. Finally the manager admitted that "comping this kind of dollar amount is above what I'm authorized", and said we would have to speak to the district manager the next day. I told him that most of us were leaving town the next day, and it would be hard to settle amongst ourselves with an after-the-fact refund. (Also, restaurants hate giving this after you've already paid, but I didn't mention that part.) I told him that, as manager of a prime steakhouse, he has to have more authorization than he's claiming, or at least be able to reach someone who does.

    We sat around for 20 minutes while I watched him make frantic phone calls. Finally he got someone and got the ok to give us half off our meal, but not before first trying to offer 25% with the justification of, "I know it took awhile, but we eventually got everything right." We refused, and finally got the 50%. Everyone swore they were done with Morton's forever.

    Just shameful. The 1997 Morton's would have taken the overpaid servers and incompetent chefs out back and beaten them beyond recognition for the meal we had at the 2005 Phoenix Morton's.

    I thought maybe it was just Phoenix. I tried Morton's Beverly Hills one more time a few years later. Not nearly as bad as the Phoenix meal, but it was still rife with mistakes, and the steaks just weren't that great. I gave up.

    It turned out that Morton's suffered from what I call the "uncanny valley of medium size operations". This plagues a lot of small businesses as they grow. When Morton's had relatively few locations, they were able to strictly manage them and assert higher standards. However, as they kept adding locations, it became too difficult to keep tight quality control, yet at the same time they weren't big enough to put in a real upper management structure. Morton's ended up taking on all the problems of a big chain restaurant while also lacking the quality control structure of those big chains. Today they're owned by Landry's, so it's not as bad as it was in the mid-late 2000s, but of course is no longer special like it was in the late 20th century.

    RIP 1990s Morton's

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    Plutonium lol wow's Avatar
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    todges morton rant is chefs kiss but the lad was too young to know it was all wet aged beef back then anyway and he still fell for the marketing you were like 30 in 2005 so you should have known better but the mortons happy hour burger still plays to this day but also why are you going to mortons getting a ribeye and a diet coke? just go eat shitty greek food pairing ur steak with a diet coke is embarrassing

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    Plutonium lol wow's Avatar
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    also i apologize for coming at greek food like that it is uniformly good to good plus just the idea of todge tucking a napkin in his shirt and going to mortons to order a medium filet and a root beer is just jarring

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    Plutonium Sanlmar's Avatar
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    lol wow packs a uv light to check for bed bugs when he goes to embassy suites and no tan lines are a big hit with his only fans

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    Plutonium Sanlmar's Avatar
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    i may be lol wows only fan but the skimpy male bathing suit trend is something that gives me anxiety that i will frighten young women on the sand

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    Plutonium lol wow's Avatar
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    i wear a full wetsuit to all hotel pools but just acknowledge my mortons knowledge

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