started seeing a chick whose poly and i have some very spicy takes so grab a lobster bib and have a seat.

- what everyone is calling poly these days, was just called 'dating' 30 years ago.

- the big difference between now and then is that now, you have carte blanche apparently to bitch incessantly about how your 'primary' or whatever is pissing you off to the other people youre fucking.

- 90% of the communication in poly relationships = people either triangulating one lover against another or panicking because someone is quite obviously triangulating a lover against them.

- the use of the world triangulating is super deliberate because poly relationships attract severe personality disorders like sodium lamps attract bugs.

- goddamned these people fuck a lot.

- for the record i do not identify as poly, i identify as a dude very on board to tap this thicc latina on her 'free day', and if listening to her carp about how unfair it is that a thin blond cutter with a severe abuse background is stealing her man, i mean ok cool, i assure you ive put up with worse....

- .....but honestly this shit is exhausting ngl. like the drama in these fucking relationships sounds like a full time job. just listening to it is overwhelming. and god forbid you suggest someone talk to a professional because....

- ......poly people often renounce therapy/therapists because 'its so hard to find one that supports the poly agenda'. which at this point im reading as 'my therapist told me i need to extricate myself from a grossly toxic situation and maybe not burn myself alive in drama every waking moment... so unsupportive of my poly agenda yall they just dont get it'.

- i honestly believe the majority of poly relationships are between people terrified of putting all their emotional eggs in one basket, so they diversify their portfolios. which is either nexteenth level brilliant or an absolutely guaranteed griefplosion and for the life of me im not sure which. the fact that so many of these relationships tend to generate children before spontaneously combusting makes me suspect its the latter but honestly who knows.

- this shit is incredibly popular and its not going away any time soon.


ok thank you for attending my ted talk.