Any snake experts here? What kind of snake is this?

[Gordman]

Seems cogent. Thank you for your help Gordo!

WOW... are you really this fucking stupid, LMAO, and you're an attorney???


It's a fucking BOA CONSTRICTOR. Google it for yourself you stupid motherfucker...


WOW this forum is beyond retarded!

Ladies and gentlemen, posters and lurkers:

This is Garrett

Garrett lacks basic common sense

Garrett doesn't bother to listen to reason

Garrett refuses to debate with real, credible, actual physical evidence. Instead, Garrett will go so far as to commence, even when ludicrously wrong, a mindless roid-raged(esque) attack on anyone who dares to contradict him.

Garrett currently has approximately 2 brain cells left, and they are both physically fighting each other (kind of like he physically fought his family)




Don't be like Garrett.

[garrett]

WOW... are you really this fucking stupid, LMAO, and you're an attorney???


It's a fucking BOA CONSTRICTOR. Google it for yourself you stupid motherfucker...


WOW this forum is beyond retarded!

Ladies and gentlemen, posters and lurkers:

This is Garrett

Garrett lacks basic common sense

Garrett doesn't bother to listen to reason

Garrett refuses to debate with real, credible, actual physical evidence. Instead, Garrett will go so far as to commence, even when ludicrously wrong, a mindless roid-raged(esque) attack on anyone who dares to contradict him.

Garrett currently has approximately 2 brain cells left, and they are both physically fighting each other (kind of like he physically fought his family)




Don't be like Garrett.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaaaa ha coming from you I cant stop laughing, thanks for giving me a good lol tonight. Your a ridiculously moronic poster, and have been for years.

Honestly anytime anywhere you absolute moron, you fit in well amongst this group of low level thinking retards!

[Tellafriend]

Ladies and gentlemen, posters and lurkers:

This is Garrett

Garrett lacks basic common sense

Garrett doesn't bother to listen to reason

Garrett refuses to debate with real, credible, actual physical evidence. Instead, Garrett will go so far as to commence, even when ludicrously wrong, a mindless roid-raged(esque) attack on anyone who dares to contradict him.

Garrett currently has approximately 2 brain cells left, and they are both physically fighting each other (kind of like he physically fought his family)




Don't be like Garrett.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaaaa ha coming from you I cant stop laughing, thanks for giving me a good lol tonight. Your a ridiculously moronic poster, and have been for years.

Honestly anytime anywhere you absolute moron, you fit in well amongst this group of low level thinking retards!

It’s you're, not your.

[Gordman]

Ladies and gentlemen, posters and lurkers:

This is Garrett

Garrett lacks basic common sense

Garrett doesn't bother to listen to reason

Garrett refuses to debate with real, credible, actual physical evidence. Instead, Garrett will go so far as to commence, even when ludicrously wrong, a mindless roid-raged(esque) attack on anyone who dares to contradict him.

Garrett currently has approximately 2 brain cells left, and they are both physically fighting each other (kind of like he physically fought his family)




Don't be like Garrett.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaaaa ha coming from you I cant stop laughing, thanks for giving me a good lol tonight. Your a ridiculously moronic poster, and have been for years.

Honestly anytime anywhere you absolute moron, you fit in well amongst this group of low level thinking retards!

Oh, look at all of thos hahas, ya got me. Im wrecked.

If you didn't include so many haha's, I would have thought I really had you.


You see Garrett, for 2 pages now you've had every opportunity to refute the consensus in this thread with verifiable facts and logic. You have included a total of:

0.0

You seem like someone (even though tremendously unstable) who would absolutely LOVE the chance to prove me wrong. We know you - youve had physical fights with your own family members because you will accept nothing less than you being right. You have been given plenty of opportunities to refute me, but not have done so.

Your entire stack of evidence in your "completely reasonable" debate consists of: "Google search it you stupid motherfucker". I realize you believe you've brought a compelling argument to the table, BUT, all of the caps, ha ha's, insults etc arent going to distract from the fact that you not only dont know what you are talking about, you literally DOUBLED and then TRIPLED down on your complete stupidity.

I haven't revealed this until now, but there is an entire thread on another forum of herpetologists and others (where i posted my question) who apparently eat and breathe snakes. Guess what? they are laughing at you right now.

Since you are so insistent that it is absolutely 100% a Boa Constrictor, I will put my money where my mouth is and make a friendly bet of $200 that it is 100% not. I know you will jump at this lock for yourself, so I will await your answer.

[GambleBotsSatire]

dont fall for it garrett

[duped_samaritan]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaaaa ha coming from you I cant stop laughing, thanks for giving me a good lol tonight. Your a ridiculously moronic poster, and have been for years.

Honestly anytime anywhere you absolute moron, you fit in well amongst this group of low level thinking retards!

Oh, look at all of thos hahas, ya got me. Im wrecked.

If you didn't include so many haha's, I would have thought I really had you.


You see Garrett, for 2 pages now you've had every opportunity to refute the consensus in this thread with verifiable facts and logic. You have included a total of:

0.0

You seem like someone (even though tremendously unstable) who would absolutely LOVE the chance to prove me wrong. We know you - youve had physical fights with your own family members because you will accept nothing less than you being right. You have been given plenty of opportunities to refute me, but not have done so.

Your entire stack of evidence in your "completely reasonable" debate consists of: "Google search it you stupid motherfucker". I realize you believe you've brought a compelling argument to the table, BUT, all of the caps, ha ha's, insults etc arent going to distract from the fact that you not only dont know what you are talking about, you literally DOUBLED and then TRIPLED down on your complete stupidity.

I haven't revealed this until now, but there is an entire thread on another forum of herpetologists and others (where i posted my question) who apparently eat and breathe snakes. Guess what? they are laughing at you right now.

Since you are so insistent that it is absolutely 100% a Boa Constrictor, I will put my money where my mouth is and make a friendly bet of $200 that it is 100% not. I know you will jump at this lock for yourself, so I will await your answer.

Arbitrate with https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake

[1marley1]

Arbitrate with https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake[/QUOTE]




No she wouldn’t... 🤣

[Tellafriend]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaaaa ha coming from you I cant stop laughing, thanks for giving me a good lol tonight. Your a ridiculously moronic poster, and have been for years.

Honestly anytime anywhere you absolute moron, you fit in well amongst this group of low level thinking retards!

Oh, look at all of thos hahas, ya got me. Im wrecked.

If you didn't include so many haha's, I would have thought I really had you.


You see Garrett, for 2 pages now you've had every opportunity to refute the consensus in this thread with verifiable facts and logic. You have included a total of:

0.0

You seem like someone (even though tremendously unstable) who would absolutely LOVE the chance to prove me wrong. We know you - youve had physical fights with your own family members because you will accept nothing less than you being right. You have been given plenty of opportunities to refute me, but not have done so.

Your entire stack of evidence in your "completely reasonable" debate consists of: "Google search it you stupid motherfucker". I realize you believe you've brought a compelling argument to the table, BUT, all of the caps, ha ha's, insults etc arent going to distract from the fact that you not only dont know what you are talking about, you literally DOUBLED and then TRIPLED down on your complete stupidity.

I haven't revealed this until now, but there is an entire thread on another forum of herpetologists and others (where i posted my question) who apparently eat and breathe snakes. Guess what? they are laughing at you right now.

Since you are so insistent that it is absolutely 100% a Boa Constrictor, I will put my money where my mouth is and make a friendly bet of $200 that it is 100% not. I know you will jump at this lock for yourself, so I will await your answer.

I will bet $10,000 that it is not a boa constictor. I'm ready to escrow with Druff when you give the word. Otherwise, shut up Garrett.

[Gordman]

Arbitrate with https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthissnake

No she wouldn’t... 🤣[/QUOTE]


LOL, What a small world the internet can be.

Well, now Garrett can read the comments from everyone on reddit who thinks and knows that he is absolutely ridiculous.

Also, I have a query pending to a noted herpetologist in Georgia that im waiting to hear back from. The site says it can take about 48 hours for a typical response.


Meanwhile, im still waiting to get a response from Garrett, our Floridian Boa Constrictor expert. It seems he has gone radio silent all of the sudden...

[splitthis]

Post the link to reddit, Druff would appreciate the traffic. Make sure you point out the Amazon link. Lol at all the vitriol over the monster snake.

[splitthis]

A snake named Garrett

[adamantium]

[GambleBotsSatire]

pretty sure that is a noa constrictor

[Gordman]

pretty sure that is a noa constrictor

Dr Garrett is such a dedicated herpetologist. Here he is in his protective clothing he wears while dealing with venomous and other potentially dangerous snakes, especially the man-eating rat snake. You can never be too safe.

[FRANKRIZZO]

Body looks like the eastern back however the head is way too small.

[Gordman]

** BREAKING NEWS **








We have just received an exclusive report that there is new information regarding a certain noteworthy reptile that will be revealed in its entirety very soon.

There is a press conference scheduled in the very near future concerning a mysterious PFA snake.

I'm told from unconfirmed (and anonymous) sources that it could likely take place in approximately 2 hours from now, possibly sooner.

We will bring you LIVE EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE when it happens.



Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

[Gordman]

I'm hearing that the results should be finally coming in very shortly


Until they do, lets recap a few of our expert and amateur herpetologists and reptile enthusiasts comments about what they thought about this magnificent beast:



























































To sum up, I've gathered that most of the community seems to apparently agree that this is at least quite possibly some version of a harmless rat snake. However, We can't deny the opposition to the debate, Garrett - our resident snake expert, a seat at the table to bring his extensive snake education and training to a possibly more rational argument that everyone is apparently, just a bunch of stupid motherfuckers.








To bring some unbiased views to the table, We ultimately decided to conduct an independent study into the findings and found that there really ARE similarities to Dr Garrett's Boa Constrictor hypothesis:


1 - It's long and slithery


2 - It does snake stuff

[Gordman]

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN FROM THE REAL EXPERTS



According to my sources, coming over the wire is correspondence from, well I will try to condense for our viewers as much as i can:

"people who actually know what the hell they are talking about"


























AND THE FINDINGS:

[MumblesBadly]

i believe that is a wallenda snake

looks like it ate one of your neighbors cats

Thinking you should get an Honorable Mention for Most Underappreciated Joke entry.

[Daly]

Lolz obviously a boa constrictor.