Since we are upon the 30th anniversary of this story occurring (sadly I don't know the exact date, only that it was November 1988), I'll tell the story and ask what you guys would have done.
I was 16 years old, and had never touched a girl in any way before. Hadn't been out on a date, either.
This is what I looked like at the time:
I had actually changed a lot physically over the prior six months. My voice abruptly changed, and quickly came to sound almost identical to how I do now. My face changed from that of a young looking junior-high-like kid to someone who actually looked his age. At this point I thought I looked good enough for some girls to be attracted to me, but I wasn't seeing any sign of it yet. This actually bothered me a lot, but there wasn't much I could do.
As a lot of you know, I've been online in some form or another since the mid-80s. At the time I called computer bulletin boards (BBSes), which were a very early version of forums. The ones I called were single-line (only one person could be on at once), and it was almost 100% dudes (kinda like this place).
However, in later 1988, I started calling multi-line BBSes, which had somewhat of a dating theme. They were also general places to shoot the shit, but there were a lot of girls on them (ranging from teen to middle aged), and I thought this was a great way to perhaps finally meet some chicks.
Well, it happened pretty quickly. On a BBS called "Chat Line", I talked to a girl named Tammy. She was 18 -- an older woman! Her stats looked really good on paper -- something like 5'7, 125 pounds, blond hair, blue eyes -- but you couldn't see pictures back in those days. However, upon talking to other dudes on the BBS, I was told that indeed Tammy was really hot.
Tammy took an interest in me quickly and asked for my phone number. It was the first time I ever talked to a girl on the phone. She called up, we had an okayish conversation. While I would vastly improve at talking to chicks on the phone in the coming year, this conversation was admittedly kinda awkward. However, she still seemed interested in me, and suggested we meet that Friday to go roller skating, which was still a big thing in 1988. I was all set to go on my first date, and it was going to be with someone both older and supposedly really hot. I wasn't sure why she was into a 16-year-old, but I wasn't going to question it!
Around the same time, I was getting to know some of the guys on the BBS. One of them, named Tim, seemed pretty cool, and we would talk whenever we saw each other on there. I mentioned to Tim how I was going to go out with Tammy that Friday.
"Oh no, you don't want to do that," said Tim. "I met her a few weeks ago. It was a disaster."
"What happened?", I asked.
"Well, the BBS was having a party. It was before you got on here. I told Tammy I'd pick her up and we'd go together, then we'd go somewhere alone afterwards. She thought it was a great idea. Well, I pick her up, and she's just really cold to me the entire ride there. Then, once we get to the party, she ditches me as soon as we walk in, and doesn't say a word to me the entire time. She ended up leaving with another guy. I was pissed."
"So you're sure she knew you weren't just giving her a ride there?", I questioned.
"100% she knew that. She built up the whole thing about how excited she was to meet me and how jealous everyone at the party was going to be of us, and then she just ditched me and never said a word to me once we walked in. And, as I said, she left with another guy there."
"That's pretty awful," I told him. "Now I don't know what to do. I kind of want to confront her about this."
"Don't worry about me," said Tim. "Maybe just go on the date. Maybe it will work out for you."
I wasn't sure if I should bring this up to Tammy. Why was this even my business? Besides, we were going roller skating, and not to a BBS party. Even if she didn't like me, it wasn't as likely she would run off with another guy there. And if she did, so what? I'd get over it, right?
Tammy called me later that day. I wasn't planning upon bringing it up. However, she brought up the roller skating again and how she was really looking forward to it, and I just couldn't help myself.
"You know that guy Tim? He said he met you," I quietly uttered, changing the subject, and hoping she would take it from there.
"Oh he told you? Boy was that ever a mistake," replied Tammy.
"Why was it a mistake? What happened?", I asked, feigning ignorance.
"Well he sounded good on the phone, but he comes to pick me up, and the guy is just gross. He was not the least bit attractive, and to be honest, he wasn't even in my social class. I was so sorry I agreed to go to the BBS party with him, which is where we had planned to go together. So once we got there, I just didn't want to lead the guy on, so I kind of just kept my distance and found my own way home," she explained.
"Ummm... okay, I guess that makes sense," I answered. "So this wasn't a date? Were you supposed to go somewhere after that with him?"
"Ew, no. He was just my ride there. I probably would have if I liked him, but no, we weren't going on a date or anything like that."
Now I didn't know what to believe. It started to perhaps seem like Tim offered to drive her to the party, believed that it would lead to more, and was bitter that she wasn't into him.
The next day, I talked to Tim again on the BBS. He gave me his number, and I called him. I told him what Tammy said to me, but asked him not to let her know that I was telling him. He agreed, and seemed legitimately shocked that Tammy claimed they didn't have a date planned.
"Dude, I swear to you, she kept talking the whole thing up. It wasn't just a ride. She and I were supposed to be there together, leave together, and go somewhere else. If she didn't like me, that's fine, but at least have the decency to tell me, not just ditch me when she walks in the door."
I was believing Tim again. But perhaps Tammy was just so disappointed by his appearance that she simply wanted out of the plans she previously made with him, and didn't handle it optimally. Was she really that bad?
Later that day, I was in the group chat with Tim, and the other guy she left with from the party was in the chat, too. "See that guy Pat?", Tim said to me in a private message. "That's him. That's the guy she left with. Ask him about it. I'm curious what he'll say."
I was a bit worried this was going to get back to Tammy, but I threw caution to the wind and asked Pat if he met Tammy.
"Oh shit, boy do I wish I never met that chick!", typed Pat. Pat went on to explain that Tammy basically came on to him during the party, and then told him that she wanted to "go somewhere" with him. However, after the party, once they drove away, Tammy claimed she had a headache, and asked him to drive her home.
"She wouldn't talk to me after that," wrote Pat. "Just used me for a ride back, and then acted like I didn't exist. Faked the headache so she didn't have to actually go anywhere with me. I'm still fuckin pissed about it."
The next day was Thursday. I was just one day away from my date with Tammy -- not only my first date ever, but a date with an older chick described as really hot, even by her detractors. Sure, these stories bothered me, but could I really back out? Would that have made any sense?
Tim seemed cool, and Pat at least seemed credible, but I barely knew them. Why was I fighting their battles?
Tammy called me again that night. The date was still definitely on. She still acted excited to be going out with me.
But I couldn't help myself. Once again, I brought up the controversy from the BBS.
"I talked to that guy Pat," I told her. "He was complaining that you tricked him into giving him a ride home from the BBS party, and that you told him you wanted to go out with him that night, but then just asked him to take you home."
I heard Tammy get noticeably angry, with both her volume and stress level of her voice elevated.
"I so wish I didn't go to that fucking party," she groaned. "Every one of those lonely guys there thinks that if you give them a little attention, all of a sudden you're their girlfriend. Yeah, Pat gave me a ride home, but that's all I fucking asked for. I told him that I had no way home and asked if he could help me, and he said yes. That's it. What the fuck is his problem? I think I'm about to quit that place. Too many possessive weirdos on there. I'm glad I met you, though. You're cool. I know you're not like they are."
What would you have done at this point?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
Vote above
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Dan Druff
