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Thread: Jokes you like post them here

  1. #41
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    This is classic Conan but I cannot believe that this is an actual service in Japan.
    Japan you are number one


     
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      big dick: lol

  2. #42
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    If you aren't sure about viewing a Conan video
    here is just a taste

    this is just a snapshot of the hilarity

    Name:  cona .png
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Size:  544.0 KB

  3. #43
    Platinum Lord of the Fraud's Avatar
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    Sorry boys



    Phoned my boss and said " I have a wee cough"
    " you have a wee cough? " came his reply
    " thank you " i said and hurriedly hung up

    Since the snow and sleet started the wife has been constantly looking thru the window...
    If she carries on ill have to let her in.

    People are usually shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.


    I went to a fancy dress party over the holidays dressed as a chicken.
    I met a girl dressed as an egg....
    Btw .the answer to the old riddle is chicken


    ME..." what would you do if we won the lottery"
    WIFE.." id take half and leave you"
    ME.." I won £25 last night , here's £12:50 now fuck off"


    I said to the wife ." Let's make a really nice weekend for each other"
    She said " ok ...good idea"
    I said " ok...see you on monday"


    Me..." I don't like how you look with the new glasses"
    WIFE ..." I'm not wearing new glasses"
    ME.." no but I am "

     
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      limitles: excellent or brilliant as you folks like to say
    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

  4. #44
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Q: How can you tell if Nancy Pelosi will be tight-lipped about a hot button issue?





    A: Because she will also be tight-foreheaded and tight-eyelided!

  5. #45
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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  6. #46
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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  7. #47
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    edit: sidebitch

    If you want more funny try out ... Bill Murray's last appearance on Late Night

    Name:  murray.png
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    Last edited by limitles; 02-16-2019 at 10:55 AM.

  8. #48
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Last edited by limitles; 02-26-2019 at 07:37 PM.

  9. #49
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    After going to the circus the daughter asks her father
    "Daddy how do they make the bear ride the bicycle?"

    Father replies, "How do you think they they do it
    they nail his paws to the pedals
    and beat the shit out of him."

  10. #50
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    Name:  joke.png
Views: 228
Size:  79.0 KB

  11. #51
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    In my teens I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder.
    Upon hearing the news my Jewish parents were shocked, then horrified
    when it was was suggested I attend summer concentration camp.



    jk, jk
    Last edited by limitles; 03-08-2019 at 09:40 PM.

  12. #52
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    Why did Sally fall off the swing set?

    Cause she has no arms.

    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

     
    Not Sally

  13. #53
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    Half the homeless in L.A. are
    people who just got sick of driving

    Bill Burr

  14. #54
    Platinum FRANKRIZZO's Avatar
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    You're like a fart in a hurricane.

  15. #55
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FRANKRIZZO View Post
    You're like a fart in a hurricane.
    good one Italian/greek robot
    why did the roman/greek empire fail
    because the slaves inherited all of it

  16. #56
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    What the favourite condiment in Russia?


     
    Soyuz sauce

  17. #57
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      sah_24: nap time

  18. #58
    Bronze Neverheeb's Avatar
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    A man gets onto a city bus and sees an attractive nun. Wanting to have sex with her, he goes up and asks, "Will you have sex with me?"

    "Of course not!" the nun said unnervingly and got off the bus.

    Before the depressed man left the bus, the bus driver stops him and says, "I know how you can screw her: On Sundays, she prays at the local cemetery. While she is praying, dress as God and she'll have sex with you. Put on a mask, robes, and a lot of glitter."

    That Sunday, the man takes the advice, gets into the costume and hides behind a gravestone. Shortly, the nun appears and prays.

    The man pops out from the gravestone and declares, "I am God, and I command you to have sex with me."

    The nun replies, "Sure, but only if we have anal sex."

    So they have anal sex.

    After sex the man rips off his mask and laughs, I'm not God! I'm that man from the bus! Ha!"

    Immediately the nun rips off her mask and says "Ha! I'm the bus driver!"

     
    Comments
      
      limitles: beauty
    Ship it crucial

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