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  1. #1
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Jokes you like post them here

    See what I did there with the title


    A man walks into a Dentist's office and says, "Doc you gotta help me, I think I'm a moth."

    "A moth?" replies the dentist. "Well that's nothing I can help you with, you clearly need a psychiatrist"

    "Oh I have one" the man replies.

    "Then why did you come in here?"

     
    Because the light was on

     
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      SysOp:
      
      splitthis:

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    Silver jacosta24's Avatar
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    What is the difference between a G-spot and a Golf ball?



    A guy will actually search for a Golf ball.

     
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      splitthis: Maybe thats why married men dont have sex

  3. #3
    Cubic Zirconia
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    Micon has more money than Druff

     
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      duped_samaritan: winner

  4. #4
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <uu<uuuuuuuuuu <uuu <uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu <uuuuuuuuuu <ckk (kkkk ((kkk (kkkkkkkkkkkk

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    Platinum duped_samaritan's Avatar
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    A pretty jewish girl asked me for my number.

    I told her we use names here.

     
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      Brittney Griner's Clit: Oh my fucking god

  6. #6
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    I have a new knock knock joke. You start.

  7. #7
    Platinum Baron Von Strucker's Avatar
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    A young Baron just arrived to Canada english is a bit spotty, pretty low on funds decided to go door to door looking to do odd jobs cut lawns, repair fences, sweep drive way, clean out garages, etc... comes upon a house, feeling a bit desperate as that day he had 22 doors slammed in his face and 6 dogs chased him out of there yards. Baron says please sir I am from Slovakia and haven't found a job yet to support my self and am running out of money to eat and pay rent, is there any thing i can do around your house kind sir???
    The man felt sorry for Baron and says "well i suppose you could go to the garage and grab the paint there and paint my porch" Baron is very excited about this as he fancies him self a pretty good painter and thinks to himself that he would do a very good job and really impress this kind man.
    so after 5 or 6 hours young Baron knocks on the door feeling pretty good about getting the job done in decent time and of course top quality. The man comes to the door and hands Barron two crisp new one hundred dollar bills.
    well Baron is very excited, this is more money than he has ever made at one time. He thanks the man and turns to walk away and turns back around and says Mr Cmoney i don't want to be rude but. You should know Thats a Cadillac not a Porsche.
    all hail Hydra



    Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.

  8. #8
    Platinum herbertstemple's Avatar
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    A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi
    has sued Stanford Hospital saying that “after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex”.

    A hospital spokesman replied: “Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”
    Tradition is a set of solutions for which we have forgotten the problems.

  9. #9
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    Hello

    My joke is Dan Druff talking Crypto in 2018.

    Who's listening?

    LPT

     
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      duped_samaritan: At least he isn't talking Micon or Uber

  10. #10
    Gold Kuntmissioner's Avatar
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    A priest, a rabbi and a monk are on a boat that has just capsized. The monk yells, "We must save the children!" The rabbi replies, "Fuck the children!" Then the priest asks, "Do we have time?"


    A priest, a rabbi and a monk are on a boat that has just capsized. The monk yells, "We must save the children!" The priest replies, "Screw the children!" Then the rabbi asks, "Out of what?"

  11. #11
    All Sorts of Sports gut's Avatar
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    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.

     
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      Sheesfaced: lol
      
      SysOp: fucking amazing
      
      limitles: fine, may jokes if you like
      
      splitthis: Lol
      
      SchoenfeldsJawMuscles:
      
      Tellafriend: Obv
      
      jacosta24:

  12. #12
    Gold SysOp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gut View Post
    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.



  13. #13
    PFA Golden Donkey michael's Avatar
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    Old man walking into the forest late at night with a little girl.

    Girl looks up at man and says, "Mr., I'm scared."

    The man looks down at her and replies, "You're scared? I have to walk out of there by myself!"

  14. #14
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Last edited by limitles; 02-26-2019 at 07:37 PM.

  15. #15
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gut View Post
    Limitles n BGC walk into a bar, bartender says "well, there is only 1 noose available."

    BGC n Limitles start a thread arguing about who gets the noose, after 10 minutes....the bartender takes it.
    cont.


    Limitles: That was too easy. Someone get that noose over to the library, females are always more of a challenge.

    Sheboon: OMFG dude who are you?

  16. #16
    Platinum Baron Von Strucker's Avatar
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    belly buster/wigganer is this true?

    It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’


    “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably shit.”
    Last edited by Baron Von Strucker; 05-03-2018 at 06:25 PM.
    all hail Hydra



    Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.

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