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Thread: Jokes you like post them here

  1. #21
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    How do you make a young splitthis cry twice?


    Wipe your bloody dick all over her Confederate Flag.

     
    Comments
      
      dwai: how do we stop you from posting?
      
      splitthis: Miss u
    Take me down to the Parvati City where the reps are green and the girls are pretty. Take me home.

    STILL the most posts deleted. STILL the FBI is harassing me. STILL double the reputation of any poster. STILL quadruple the rep/post ratio of any poster. STILL BGC.

  2. #22
    Plutonium Brittney Griner's Clit's Avatar
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    dwai: how do we stop you from posting?

    Sheboon: Don't worry about it.
    Take me down to the Parvati City where the reps are green and the girls are pretty. Take me home.

    STILL the most posts deleted. STILL the FBI is harassing me. STILL double the reputation of any poster. STILL quadruple the rep/post ratio of any poster. STILL BGC.

  3. #23
    A 90 year old virgin goes to the doctor complaining of a genital itch. He examines her and says she has crabs. She says its not possible, she's a virgin and has never as so much kissed a man.

    She decides to seek a 2nd opinion. The second doctor also concludes that she has crabs.

    Not satisfied she seeks out a 3rd opinion. The doctor says he has good news and bad news. He tells her the good news is she doesn't have crabs.

    The bad news is......

     
    You've been a virgin so long, your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies.
    "I wouldn't trade places with Marty for all the money in the world, and I’ m a nigger.”
    -Kenneth

  4. #24
    What do you call 7 epileptics in a sleeping bag?


    A packet of Wrigleys.
    cmoney :It would be nice if Mexico could simply get human feces out of its drinking water

  5. #25
    A rabbi and a priest walk down the street, the priest sees a kid and says "lets fuck him", the rabbi Replies "Outta What?"...

     
    Comments
      
      Sheesfaced: Already posted
    "Druff would suck his own dick if it were long enough"- Brandon "drexel" Gerson

    "ann coulter literally has more common sense than pfa."-Sonatine

    "Real grinders supports poker fraud"- Ray Davis


    "DRILLED HER GOOD"- HONGKONGER

  6. #26
    A guy walks into a bar and tells Vegas1369 he wants a rum and coke. Vegas tosses him an apple. The guy says WTF. Just taste it says Vegas

    the guy takes a bite and exclaims, "holy shit this tastes like rum!" Vegas tells him to take a bite from the other side "wow this tastes just like coke.

    another guy walks in and orders a Screwdriver. Vegas throws him an apple. The guy takes a bit and says, "damn this tastes just like vodka." Vegas tell him to turn it around and taste it.

    He then says, "wow it tastes just like OJ"

    A 3rd guy enters and before he can order the others tell him that Vegas can make an apple taste like anything. The guy cries bullshit and says...."ok give me one that tastes like pussy"

    Vegas tosses him an apple and the guy takes a bite....he immediately spits it out and yells, "yuck that tasted like shit"

    The others laugh and in unison say....TURN IT AROUND

     
    Comments
      
      duped_samaritan:
    "I wouldn't trade places with Marty for all the money in the world, and I’ m a nigger.”
    -Kenneth

  7. #27
    A young Baron just arrived to Canada english is a bit spotty, pretty low on funds decided to go door to door looking to do odd jobs cut lawns, repair fences, sweep drive way, clean out garages, etc... comes upon a house, feeling a bit desperate as that day he had 22 doors slammed in his face and 6 dogs chased him out of there yards. Baron says please sir I am from Slovakia and haven't found a job yet to support my self and am running out of money to eat and pay rent, is there any thing i can do around your house kind sir???
    The man felt sorry for Baron and says "well i suppose you could go to the garage and grab the paint there and paint my porch" Baron is very excited about this as he fancies him self a pretty good painter and thinks to himself that he would do a very good job and really impress this kind man.
    so after 5 or 6 hours young Baron knocks on the door feeling pretty good about getting the job done in decent time and of course top quality. The man comes to the door and hands Barron two crisp new one hundred dollar bills.
    well Baron is very excited, this is more money than he has ever made at one time. He thanks the man and turns to walk away and turns back around and says Mr Cmoney i don't want to be rude but. You should know Thats a Cadillac not a Porsche.
    all hail Hydra



    Originally Posted by DanDruff:Since I'm a 6'2" Republican with an average-sized nose and a last name which doesn't end with "stein", "man", or "berg", I can hide among the goyim and remain undetected unless I open my mouth about money matters.

  8. #28
    A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi
    has sued Stanford Hospital saying that “after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex”.

    A hospital spokesman replied: “Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”
    Businesses that make money by collecting & selling detailed records of private lives were once plainly described as "surveillance companies." Their rebranding as "social media" is the most successful deception since the Department of War became the Department of Defense.

  9. #29
    Platinum PLOL's Avatar
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    Thought you said "Jocks you like, post them here". I'm gonna do it anyway. This cute jock is Charlie Hall. You may recognize his Mom
    Attached Images Attached Images   
    Quote Originally Posted by verminaard View Post
    Just non-stop unrelenting LGBT propaganda being shoved down our throats.

  10. #30
    NoFraud Poker Room Manager Belly Buster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baron Von Strucker View Post
    belly buster/wigganer is this true?

    It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’


    “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably shit.”
    My missus says I care more about soccer than I do about her. Don't know why she thinks that - we've been happily married for 15 seasons.
    Quote Originally Posted by MumblesBadly View Post
    "So, yeah. I'm definitely a total fucking retard".
    Quote Originally Posted by Gene Hunt
    NoFraud Online Poker Room: http://nofraud.pokerfraudalert.com:8087. For password resets and reload requests PM me.

  11. #31
    Heard this on a podcast.

    A magician was working on a cruise ship.

    Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

    Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

    The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

    Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.

    The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.

    They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

    This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

    "Okay, I give up. Where's the freaking ship??

  12. #32
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    I smoke color purple
    I'm up in here feeling like silly
    Nappy ass dreads, what's that you say?
    Watch your mouth, Milli Vanilli
    You can get snaked, you can get faked
    I'll buy the bitch that you feeling
    'Cause you thought that she was an angel
    That bitch ain't no angel, I treat her halo like a Frisbee

  13. #33
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Jim Gaffigan on God

    "I like to believe that I'm such a horrible person that I need to believe there is something that will forgive me."
    "The public bought shit they never should have. "

    piece of crap sanman


  14. #34
    Inaugural Spring Classic Champion HoodedN's Avatar
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    Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone?

     
    Because he got hit by a bus.

     
    Comments
      
      herbertstemple: lol
    #ToddsPlan

  15. #35

  16. #36
    Businesses that make money by collecting & selling detailed records of private lives were once plainly described as "surveillance companies." Their rebranding as "social media" is the most successful deception since the Department of War became the Department of Defense.

  17. #37
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    Last edited by FPS_Russia; 05-27-2018 at 12:15 PM.

  18. #38

  19. #39
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    A jewish kid goes up to his Dad and asks to borrow fifty dollars
    and the Dad says, forty dollars, what do you want 30 dollars for?
    "The public bought shit they never should have. "

    piece of crap sanman


  20. #40
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    take a second for this one
    have to listen from the start



     
    Comments
      
      duped_samaritan:
    Last edited by limitles; 02-11-2019 at 11:15 PM.
    "The public bought shit they never should have. "

    piece of crap sanman


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