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Thread: Jokes you like post them here

  1. #41
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    This is classic Conan but I cannot believe that this is an actual service in Japan.
    Japan you are number one

    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  2. #42
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    If you aren't sure about viewing a Conan video
    here is just a taste

    this is just a snapshot of the hilarity

    Name:  cona .png
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    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  3. #43
    Platinum Lord of the Fraud's Avatar
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    Sorry boys



    Phoned my boss and said " I have a wee cough"
    " you have a wee cough? " came his reply
    " thank you " i said and hurriedly hung up

    Since the snow and sleet started the wife has been constantly looking thru the window...
    If she carries on ill have to let her in.

    People are usually shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.


    I went to a fancy dress party over the holidays dressed as a chicken.
    I met a girl dressed as an egg....
    Btw .the answer to the old riddle is chicken


    ME..." what would you do if we won the lottery"
    WIFE.." id take half and leave you"
    ME.." I won 25 last night , here's 12:50 now fuck off"


    I said to the wife ." Let's make a really nice weekend for each other"
    She said " ok ...good idea"
    I said " ok...see you on monday"


    Me..." I don't like how you look with the new glasses"
    WIFE ..." I'm not wearing new glasses"
    ME.." no but I am "

     
    Comments
      
      limitles: excellent or brilliant as you folks like to say
    http://pnimg.net/w/articles-attachments/1/4c2/74d75c36d2.jpg

  4. #44
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Q: How can you tell if Nancy Pelosi will be tight-lipped about a hot button issue?





    A: Because she will also be tight-foreheaded and tight-eyelided!
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  5. #45
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  6. #46
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  7. #47
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    edit: sidebitch

    If you want more funny try out ... Bill Murray's last appearance on Late Night

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    Last edited by limitles; 02-16-2019 at 10:55 AM.
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  8. #48
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Last edited by limitles; 02-26-2019 at 07:37 PM.
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  9. #49
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    After going to the circus the daughter asks her father
    "Daddy how do they make the bear ride the bicycle?"

    Father replies, "How do you think they they do it
    they nail his paws to the pedals
    and beat the shit out of him."
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  10. #50

  11. #51
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    In my teens I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder.
    Upon hearing the news my Jewish parents were shocked, then horrified
    when it was was suggested I attend summer concentration camp.



    jk, jk
    Last edited by limitles; 03-08-2019 at 09:40 PM.
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  12. #52
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Why did Sally fall off the swing set?

    Cause she has no arms.

    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

     
    Not Sally
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  13. #53
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Half the homeless in L.A. are
    people who just got sick of driving

    Bill Burr
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  14. #54
    You're like a fart in a hurricane.

  15. #55
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FRANKRIZZO View Post
    You're like a fart in a hurricane.
    good one Italian/greek robot
    why did the roman/greek empire fail
    because the slaves inherited all of it
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


  16. #56
    Canadrunk limitles's Avatar
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    What the favourite condiment in Russia?


     
    Soyuz sauce
    Nothing is more obvious today than the single inability of capital and private enterprise to take care of themselves unaided by the state; they are all the while besieging legislatures for relief from their own incompetency, and "pleading the baby act" through a trained body of lawyers and lobbyists.

    Lester Frank Ward

    "When people see some things as good, other things become bad"
    Lao Tzu

    Asked if he had every prayed, christopher Hitchens replied
    "once, for a hardon"


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