I am The Last Paper Towel

[LastPaperTowel]

"BIG DICK" used my last to wipe my jism off the tip of his nose..
I don't let him use the house towels, I generally just throw him out dirty when I'm done..

When I shit on his wife, it's done at there scat encrusted house...

As far as online poker goes.. global rocks..

Welcome aboard anyway. I hope your not a libtard fag.

Hello

Thank you for this post. You sound like an experienced Shat Specialist I must admit. I am not into a 2 party political system. Independent.

When you shit dudes wife, does he cry? I had to help a landlord with an eviction once where a man told me that another man had moved into his apartment and was fucking/shitting his wife. At first he was ok with it because they were all on Heroin, but then he started to realize that she was not always showering before fucking him, so sometimes he would get the other guy's shit on him while he was up in her pussy. This made him cry.
I got them to leave, and saved a woman's life in the process. The woman is now back in Tennessee with her family. Last i heard she was not using drugs anymore, and getting to see her kids some. The guy that she was married to is in jail. The guy that shit on the girl was in a bad car wreck and is not the same but is not dead.

Vote Towelism 2020

If any of you see Howard Lederer at the WSOP this year, or any FT Pussy, tell them they stole. Thief. Shame. Just say something. Mass movement of non violence against the dirty fucks that stole poker from everyone. Live. At the WSOP 2018. Get in.

Peace

LPT

[herbertstemple]

Hello LPT.

This is incredible. Just last night I used the last paper towel on the roll & sure enough, half the damn thing tore off & stuck to the roll. What good is 1/2 a paper towel? Can you share the tricks for safely removing the whole last paper towel? It specifically states that there are 70 paper towels, 69.5 paper towels per roll. Please help, situation is getting desperate.

Welcome to PFA.

A little advice.

If you are a female, keep it to yourself.

Thanks for the advice Herb. I am gender neutral with an emphasis on gender. I also enjoy ice cream baths with comic book heros. My sexuality is very similar to Daniel Negreanu's sexuality with a sweet hint of Alec Torreli mixed in to savor.

Towelism is Legit.

Never doubt a clean Towel. Unless it is a clean Towel that Alec Torreli is using to cover his bald spot. This could be a rare breed of Towel known commonly as an AngleTowel. Not to be confused with his hot lesbian cousin AngelTowel. AngelTowel cleans all the rolls. AngleTowel tries to steal all the bankrolls. Totally different towel species really.

Cheap paper Towels are much rougher on the hands versus expensive paper Towels. Same family though.

I will explain the total value of Paper Towels at some point in a future that may exist. Alec Torreli will still be balding badly in this said future.

LPT

Sorry, missed your response. Would like to ask you a question & hope I do not hurt your feelings. Are you made out of recycled paper or pure virgin pulp? I mean, what am I really using when I dry my hands?

[LastPaperTowel]

Thanks for the advice Herb. I am gender neutral with an emphasis on gender. I also enjoy ice cream baths with comic book heros. My sexuality is very similar to Daniel Negreanu's sexuality with a sweet hint of Alec Torreli mixed in to savor.

Towelism is Legit.

Never doubt a clean Towel. Unless it is a clean Towel that Alec Torreli is using to cover his bald spot. This could be a rare breed of Towel known commonly as an AngleTowel. Not to be confused with his hot lesbian cousin AngelTowel. AngelTowel cleans all the rolls. AngleTowel tries to steal all the bankrolls. Totally different towel species really.

Cheap paper Towels are much rougher on the hands versus expensive paper Towels. Same family though.

I will explain the total value of Paper Towels at some point in a future that may exist. Alec Torreli will still be balding badly in this said future.

LPT

Sorry, missed your response. Would like to ask you a question & hope I do not hurt your feelings. Are you made out of recycled paper or pure virgin pulp? I mean, what am I really using when I dry my hands?

Hello

Great Question.

My Originator was Virgin Pulp,VP and the only Virgin Pulp ever created, but I have been recycled an infinite number of times. In a similar way that humans take a piece of each person they fuck, without a jimmy, with them forever. I also carry stains, filth, glues, feces and countless other atomic particles with me into the next roll - every time i am recycled.

This process has made me a very Tuff Paper Towel. I can really wipe up a mess fast. When all other Paper Towels try and fail, The Last Paper Towel cleans the filth that is required for life to exist. My hardest test is nuclear waste, but it isn't as bad anymore since Bikini Atoll was destroyed. I cleaned up that Nuclear testing ground/wasteland alone. Just me, glue and Leftovers from past Paper Towels. By the end of the job I had gained control of 10 out of the 11 dimensions described by Ed Whitten about what is called on Earth - M Theory. This allows me to be One Nasty Fucking Paper Towel Folks.

Please Boycott Poker until the Rake is Fair Again.

Please boycott your own Religion. It probably sucks and molests kids.

Please try to be a nice person.

Peace

LPT