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Thread: Jail Stories

  1. #1

    Jail Stories

    Jail is nowhere anyone wants to be. It's a horrible existence. There are a few types of housing. Some of the housing is cell living. A "lucky" inmate gets his own cell, otherwise two inmates are required to bunk together in a cell. Some inmates resort to homosexuality. Although it is not prison, even jail can be a dangerous place where fights break out or someone is attacked.

    Living pent up in a tiny space with only an hour out of the cell every two to three days can be extremely taxing on one's mental state. Exercising helps and there are some good exercises one can accomplish even in the small confined space of a cell. Reading fiction books and writing letters is about all that is left besides exercising. Hand stand push-ups are a great exercise, and abdominal work on the mattress is helpful. Some inmates like reading religious texts.

    Another type of living is dorm living. The dorms are very noisy and there is more frequent fighting. There is a television and some inmates are able to make dice. Games of 10,000 can pass the time. Sometimes inmates play poker with commissary items. There is also an hour to play hand ball. It is hard to find time to read in dorm living so one is most often forced to pass the time hanging out with other inmates.
    Ship it crucial

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverheeb View Post
    Some inmates resort to homosexuality.
    Have you ever been to jail?

    How many times did you take it up the ass?



     
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      simpdog: How do you not know either answer

  3. #3
    Platinum thesparten's Avatar
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    Me and big dick once got arrested in a hotel on sodomy charges...

    But when we were examined i was let go and big dick had no choice but to plead guilty for a lesser sentence.

  4. #4
    I heard Neverheeb was the only vato to walk the main yard alone

  5. #5
    Lets talk about the sex there.


    Were the young ones the first to get fucked?

    What was used as lube?

    Does DP ever happen?

    Do the guards ever poke fun at the inmates that have to bottom or suck fat dick?
    Last edited by Onestep; 03-01-2018 at 04:02 PM.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by thesparten View Post
    Me and big dick once got arrested in a hotel on sodomy charges...

    But when we were examined i was let go and big dick had no choice but to plead guilty for a lesser sentence.
    so Bigdick was pitching and you were catching?

  7. #7
    Inaugural Spring Classic Champion HoodedN's Avatar
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    Never have I ever jerked off to pfa. Take a drink onestep

  8. #8
    Post Restricted limitles's Avatar
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    As someone prone to push boundaries I realized prison was not for me avoided prison type offences.
    Unfortunately drinking has landed me in the clink on four occasions, one of which an extended stay in the nut house for a month
    because I got lippy with a psychiatrist.

    The nut house is jail-like but the best kind. I did share a room with a psychotic who threatened me but that ended quickly, otherwise no violence.

    The drunk tank simulates prison life, I imagine, if you were in solitary and that must be hell on earth.


    How long were you in for?
    call out ignorance at every opportunity

    Have a good day
    Never Forget

  9. #9
    Diamond chinamaniac's Avatar
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    You get in any fights?

    See any fights?

    How was the food?

  10. #10
    Platinum thesparten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Lurker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by thesparten View Post
    Me and big dick once got arrested in a hotel on sodomy charges...

    But when we were examined i was let go and big dick had no choice but to plead guilty for a lesser sentence.
    so Bigdick was pitching and you were catching?
    No fool..

    Once they saw my pristine hole and compared it to big dick callous encrusted hole.. Charges for big dick were a no brainer.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by chinamaniac View Post
    You get in any fights?

    See any fights?

    How was the food?

    I did not get in any fights but I was attacked once. I had just transferred floors from a floor with single cell living. A hispanic guy came into the unit as I was sitting on a stool. The guard was getting ready to put us in as cellmates. He sat down and asked me, "what are you?"

    He was referring to who did i run with. I have two options when posed with this question. I can say "others" which is a formulation of asians and whites who don't really want to claim a party, or "woods"

    I tried to avoid the politics by answering with my heritage. I said I am half Italian, a quarter English and a quarter Dutch.
    I then said where are you from?
    He didn't answer so I asked him again. "Where are you from?"

    He must have taken it as some square bear shit or he was trying to prove himself in front of all the nortenos. Anyway he stood up and blindsided me in the dome with a sweeping right hook. I stumbled to the ground several feet away then backed off and prepared for another attack. He came running at me and tried to tackle me. I proceeded into a whizzer and then gained a mount on his back. I didn't do anything because I didn't want to get in trouble. I just held him down, but the guard didn't take notice to shit he just whipped out his pepper spray and LIT ME THE FUCK UP. Anyway I ended up pleeing to a misdemeanor because I didn't want to waste time fighting the case. They took a few days of my credits away. The pepper spray did not go away for DAYS. They transferred me into level 4 housing. I was in my own cell and only got out for an hour every two to three days. It felt like I was burning alive for those couple days. For the rest of my stay it served as a reminder of how if I don't get on the "right path" in life I will burn in the afterlife.

    I saw a couple fights in the dorm living - standard fist fights and such.

    I was doing a lot of hand stand push-ups back then. I maxed out at 25 in one set one day. And on easter I did 405 in one day.

    The food is pretty lousy. I mean picture a low budget and lots of people to feed. Cycles about every two weeks and is not very appetizing.
    Ship it crucial

  12. #12
    Nova Scotia's REAL #1 Webcam DJ sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverheeb View Post
    For the rest of my stay it served as a reminder of how if I don't get on the "right path" in life I will burn in the afterlife.
    : peet
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs


  13. #13
    Hows your back? I remember you were really strong but busted your back and couldn't lift anymore, so curious how that was doing.

    I don't think there are many people who used to lift who are in these forums so they probably don't even realize how strong you were. Definitely think you could have probably been some kind of athlete if your life had gone different.

  14. #14
    Platinum duped_samaritan's Avatar
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    How long were you locked up?

    What did you look forward to the most while in there? (besides getting out)
    Did you get books or anything?

    They transferred me into level 4 housing. I was in my own cell and only got out for an hour every two to three days.
    I just can't wrap my head around what this would be like.
    Did you make up any mental games to pass the time?

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by duped_samaritan View Post
    How long were you locked up?

    What did you look forward to the most while in there? (besides getting out)
    Did you get books or anything?

    They transferred me into level 4 housing. I was in my own cell and only got out for an hour every two to three days.
    I just can't wrap my head around what this would be like.
    Did you make up any mental games to pass the time?

    I read the entire Bible (New Testament and Old Testament) out loud in Spanish - that usually passed a few hours a day - then of course there were constant sets of handstand push-ups and ab work - it was rough man

    I did read a really good book in there. "Dune: House Corrino" - awesome sci-fi book

    You just have to stay positive - praying helped me a lot. Praying saves lives =) God is great - and He is always there for us.
    Ship it crucial

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by verminaard View Post
    Hows your back? I remember you were really strong but busted your back and couldn't lift anymore, so curious how that was doing.

    I don't think there are many people who used to lift who are in these forums so they probably don't even realize how strong you were. Definitely think you could have probably been some kind of athlete if your life had gone different.

    My back is in bad shape - it's actually my lower spine and hips - there's tons of arthritis (already which is scary) and a couple of the vertebrae apparently have small fractures - and of course there's the good old psiatica

    Yeah I wish I had done a lot of things different - athletics would have been the right road.
    Ship it crucial

  17. #17
    Nova Scotia's REAL #1 Webcam DJ sonatine's Avatar
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    so is He going to stake you on ACR?
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs


  18. #18
    Did any inmates refer to you as Landon Mark? Did any of them ask for an autograph?

     
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      Neverheeb: negative
      
      simpdog: Lol
    "I wouldn't trade places with Marty for all the money in the world, and I m a nigger.
    -Kenneth

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by chinamaniac View Post
    How was the food?
    LULZ

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverheeb View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by duped_samaritan View Post
    How long were you locked up?

    What did you look forward to the most while in there? (besides getting out)
    Did you get books or anything?


    I just can't wrap my head around what this would be like.
    Did you make up any mental games to pass the time?

    I read the entire Bible (New Testament and Old Testament) out loud in Spanish - that usually passed a few hours a day - then of course there were constant sets of handstand push-ups and ab work - it was rough man

    I did read a really good book in there. "Dune: House Corrino" - awesome sci-fi book

    You just have to stay positive - praying helped me a lot. Praying saves lives =) God is great - and He is always there for us.
    Have you read the original Dune. I would say it is arguably the best Sci Fi book of all time. Most of the sequels written by Frank Herbert were meh though. Never read House Corrino, or any of the other books written by Herbert's son. Maybe I should check it out.

     
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      Neverheeb: Sci-Fi for the win

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