Great Pizza Stories

[sonatine]

I call this guy up right? Yeah. And I ask "hey man, do you deliver pizza?" The owner says to me, he says "typically no, but uh... how much you got?" I tell him I only got $7.04 on me but I also got a stack of random 90s Marvel comics. "Yeah? Like what?" he ask. "Some Daredevil, Spider-Man, X-Men..." I says. "X-Men? Like Cable? I love that dude." I try to tell him no it's only regular X-Men but he's disconnected and already on his way. He shows up fifteen minutes later with a pizza in his hands, no box or anything, and says "alright let's see that Cable." I explain I don't have any Cable comics and I tried to tell him I never had any. The dude laughs and drops a burning hot pizza in my hands and walks into my house. I instinctively throw the pizza onto the table because it's scalding my hands. He's digging through all my comics and pulls out a mint condition Cable #1 that I never knew I had. I swear I've dug through those books a thousand times. He says "the pizza papa always gets what's his." He punches me in the gut and leaves. Poor service but it was the best pizza I've ever had.

[sonatine]

bonus meme to spice things up around here.

[Mintjewlips]

This is some Podesta level innuendos......creepy......

[tgull]

Not really to make anything with your original post. But like 15 years ago I ordered a Dominos Pizza and got through half of it and bit into something crazy hard. It was a penny. I called up and the Manager apologized profusely and gave me a new pizza with a $50 gift card. I was like yeah sure, I guess I could have got a lawyer but I was not harmed.

Another true story, I had my first sexual experience while as a driver at the age of 17 at a Dominos. She was 17 as well but quit high school and had her own apartment with her sister. She was a Manager in Training, her sister was Assistant Manager. I was terrified she had herpes, but I kept going back for more. They later all moved to Europe and became owner/operators for like 20 Dominos franchises.

[The_Lurker]

Gotta give credit where credit is due.

I figured he had good Trout, Salmon, and Steelhead skills, but The man is pretty good at hooking Suckers too.

[hongkonger]

I knew of a guy once who had a pizza place. Another guy, barely an acquaintance of the owner, shows up in bad shape. He's been drinking, sleeping in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, kicked out of weekly motels for being a filthy, belligerent pain in the ass, that sort of thing. The owner was super nice, lent him money, offered him a job, did everything he could and went above and beyond the call of duty to help out someone he barely knew. Then the guy skips town without repaying the money and goes on the internet to trash the owner, his family, his pizza and his employees. Pizza is a rough business.

[tgull]

I knew of a guy once who had a pizza place. Another guy, barely an acquaintance of the owner, shows up in bad shape. He's been drinking, sleeping in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, kicked out of weekly motels for being a filthy, belligerent pain in the ass, that sort of thing. The owner was super nice, lent him money, offered him a job, did everything he could and went above and beyond the call of duty to help out someone he barely knew. Then the guy skips town without repaying the money and goes on the internet to trash the owner, his family, his pizza and his employees. Pizza is a rough business.

As usual, terribly unfunny and Tyde obsessive. You have MAJOR issues. I sure and hope you are dealing with them. I am praying for you.

[big dick]

Not really to make anything with your original post. But like 15 years ago I ordered a Dominos Pizza and got through half of it and bit into something crazy hard. It was a penny. I called up and the Manager apologized profusely and gave me a new pizza with a $50 gift card. I was like yeah sure, I guess I could have got a lawyer but I was not harmed.

Another true story, I had my first sexual experience while as a driver at the age of 17 at a Dominos. She was 17 as well but quit high school and had her own apartment with her sister. She was a Manager in Training, her sister was Assistant Manager. I was terrified she had herpes, but I kept going back for more. They later all moved to Europe and became owner/operators for like 20 Dominos franchises.

1st piece of ass you get and it's from white trash
Loser

[tgull]

I worked at Donimos from age 17 to 20 as a driver, full time in the summers, part time the other months. I cannot think of a better job for a teenager to have, or a more dangerous job. It was great in that you could make $50-$100 in tax free tips, dangerous because this was before GPS and you had to rely on actual maps, which meant you were reading a map while driving. I nearly got killed like a five times, one time I almost careened into a lake going like 40 while reading a map with a flashlight.

In the Dominos I worked in it was part of a franchise owned by a single owner named Benji. He was a 5' tall, and VERY gay. He owned like 15 Dominos in the region but turned over the day to day operations to his two brothers, who were the worst two fuckers you ever met. Just miserable little tyrants who popped in the stores like once a week and just made everyone miserable.

So for the first time in months Benji decides to visit all the stores over a week period and one of the brothers came in a few days prior basically threatening the manager of the store in front of the staff that the store had better be crystal clean otherwise he would be finding another job. The brother named Marcus came up to me and asked where my name tag was, I told him it was on the car and my shift had not started yet. He began berating me and being 18 I just sat there and took it, I believe he was intimidated by my size and I was literally nearly a foot taller.

So anyway, a few days go by and it's 3pm and the store is spotless, it was usually a fucking pigsty but the manager apparently was there until 2am cleaning it. Anyway, the owner and brothers come driving up in a Mercedes and Benji comes walking in, he was actually a very nice guy compared to his brothers. So they are huddled in the back with the manager while we are fake cleaning. Anyway, the door of the Mercedes opens up and this guy appears who is like 6' 5" tall and maybe weighs 190 lbs. He looks gaunt and pale and opens the door and ask where is Benji. It's Benji's male lover, who obviously is either positive or transitioning to full blown AIDS. It was creepy.

So anyway a call comes in for a large pizza. The way we worked is the Managers or Assistants made the pizzas, unless it was slow, then one of the experienced drivers would make it. It's not that we wanted to make it, it's the managers would either be taking smoke breaks or on the phone in the back so we would just do it. So I start making the pizza and toss it in the oven, and Benji's lover begins freaking out: He points at me and calls to Benji "He made a pizza after touching money and did not wash his hands!". Apparently I was counting my tip money in my pocket before I made the pizza and he saw it. Everyone comes running from the back like someone was murdered or something, and they are all staring at me while Benji's lover is saying how I did not wash my hands after touching money. Here is a guy with no T cells freaking out because I made a pizza after touching money and put it into a 1000 degree oven which would kill any germ on the planet.

Marcus, immediately grabs the pizza out of the over and tosses it in the trash and orders the manager to call the customer to let them know the pizza will be late and free. This whole episode was so laughable, the fucking sink was about a 50 feet walk in the back, and I never saw anyone ever go back to wash their hands, not once. Marcus runs up to me and screams "First the Name Tag and Now This?????" He then asks when I am off and I said 4pm, he is like "No you are off now, think about if you want your job back and let us know tomorrow". He fucking sent me home, LOL. As I am walking out Benji begins pleading with Marcus that he was too rough "on the young man" and Marcus dug in and began talking about "Accountability". LOL, I am 18 years old and delivering pizzas and this d-bag is talking about life lessons.

Anyway, the manager called me the next morning and pleaded for me to return, I was the most reliable driver so I agreed. This was not my last altercation with Marcus, I'll get to that but there are other stories much more shocking.

[tgull]

Another bizarre pizza story. There was this full time driver named Matt. He was in his mid-30s and a really odd cat, but very friendly. I knew I had seen him before and never could put remember. Finally, his wife came in the store and I was like WTF??? She was my age, 19 at the time, and she dropped out of school when she was 16. I will never forget one day walking in from the parking lot to go into high school they were in the car together talking, I was like WTF why is this chick with this dude 15 years older. Turns out she was pregnant, they got married and she already had 2 kids by age 19.

Anyway, it was my 19th birthday and Matt was like "go over to 7-11 and just get a Big Gulp cup with nothing in it, it will cost you a quarter". So I did it and came back. This was like 4pm on a Tuesday and we were dead. He then motions me into the walk in fridge and stashed behind the cheese is a 12 pack of Busch beer. He breaks two open and pours one in my cup and says "Welcome to the Club". Enjoy the Mountain Dew, then says the first one is free, but any beer after is $2. He also instructs me if I every want to get him to buy beer for me there is a $10 surcharge per case.

Turns out he had a hustle going on with underage drivers. Yeah, I used him quite a bit for cases of beer on the weekend.