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Thread: Great Pizza Stories

  1. #1
    Nova Scotia's REAL #1 Webcam DJ sonatine's Avatar
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    Great Pizza Stories

    I call this guy up right? Yeah. And I ask "hey man, do you deliver pizza?" The owner says to me, he says "typically no, but uh... how much you got?" I tell him I only got $7.04 on me but I also got a stack of random 90s Marvel comics. "Yeah? Like what?" he ask. "Some Daredevil, Spider-Man, X-Men..." I says. "X-Men? Like Cable? I love that dude." I try to tell him no it's only regular X-Men but he's disconnected and already on his way. He shows up fifteen minutes later with a pizza in his hands, no box or anything, and says "alright let's see that Cable." I explain I don't have any Cable comics and I tried to tell him I never had any. The dude laughs and drops a burning hot pizza in my hands and walks into my house. I instinctively throw the pizza onto the table because it's scalding my hands. He's digging through all my comics and pulls out a mint condition Cable #1 that I never knew I had. I swear I've dug through those books a thousand times. He says "the pizza papa always gets what's his." He punches me in the gut and leaves. Poor service but it was the best pizza I've ever had.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Nova Scotia's REAL #1 Webcam DJ sonatine's Avatar
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    bonus meme to spice things up around here.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  3. #3
    This is some Podesta level innuendos......creepy......
    "Druff would suck his own dick if it were long enough"- Brandon "drexel" Gerson

    "ann coulter literally has more common sense than pfa."-Sonatine

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    "DRILLED HER GOOD"- HONGKONGER

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    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    Not really to make anything with your original post. But like 15 years ago I ordered a Dominos Pizza and got through half of it and bit into something crazy hard. It was a penny. I called up and the Manager apologized profusely and gave me a new pizza with a $50 gift card. I was like yeah sure, I guess I could have got a lawyer but I was not harmed.

    Another true story, I had my first sexual experience while as a driver at the age of 17 at a Dominos. She was 17 as well but quit high school and had her own apartment with her sister. She was a Manager in Training, her sister was Assistant Manager. I was terrified she had herpes, but I kept going back for more. They later all moved to Europe and became owner/operators for like 20 Dominos franchises.

     
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      Muck Ficon: How is your "kid" LOL

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    Gold The_Lurker's Avatar
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    Gotta give credit where credit is due.

    I figured he had good Trout, Salmon, and Steelhead skills, but The man is pretty good at hooking Suckers too.

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    Minjewlips is a true patriot

  6. #6
    I knew of a guy once who had a pizza place. Another guy, barely an acquaintance of the owner, shows up in bad shape. He's been drinking, sleeping in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, kicked out of weekly motels for being a filthy, belligerent pain in the ass, that sort of thing. The owner was super nice, lent him money, offered him a job, did everything he could and went above and beyond the call of duty to help out someone he barely knew. Then the guy skips town without repaying the money and goes on the internet to trash the owner, his family, his pizza and his employees. Pizza is a rough business.

     
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    HILLARY WON

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    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hongkonger View Post
    I knew of a guy once who had a pizza place. Another guy, barely an acquaintance of the owner, shows up in bad shape. He's been drinking, sleeping in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, kicked out of weekly motels for being a filthy, belligerent pain in the ass, that sort of thing. The owner was super nice, lent him money, offered him a job, did everything he could and went above and beyond the call of duty to help out someone he barely knew. Then the guy skips town without repaying the money and goes on the internet to trash the owner, his family, his pizza and his employees. Pizza is a rough business.
    As usual, terribly unfunny and Tyde obsessive. You have MAJOR issues. I sure and hope you are dealing with them. I am praying for you.

     
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      Muck Ficon: Remember when you made up that story about having a kid?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by hongkonger View Post
    I knew of a guy once who had a pizza place. Another guy, barely an acquaintance of the owner, shows up in bad shape. He's been drinking, sleeping in his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot, kicked out of weekly motels for being a filthy, belligerent pain in the ass, that sort of thing. The owner was super nice, lent him money, offered him a job, did everything he could and went above and beyond the call of duty to help out someone he barely knew. Then the guy skips town without repaying the money and goes on the internet to trash the owner, his family, his pizza and his employees. Pizza is a rough business.
    As usual, terribly unfunny and Tyde obsessive. You have MAJOR issues. I sure and hope you are dealing with them. I am praying for you.
    This from the guy who started a whole thread about Tyde's top ten worst moments.
    HILLARY WON

  9. #9
    Owner Dan Druff's Avatar
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    Used to pick up pizza once a week in the 90s at a mom and pop pizza place in Hermosa Beach.

    There was this really hot chick who looked around 21 who worked there. I was like 25 at the time. She kinda had the hot beach chick look to her.

    She kept making comments to me about how I "had a nice car", even though it was just a BMW 3 series which was 2 years old.

    It seemed like she was flirting with me, but I lived with a girlfriend at the time, so obviously I wasn't pursuing this.

    This persisted for like 6 consecutive weeks, maybe more.

    Since I wasn't giving her much response, she kicked it up a notch and started telling me that I needed to take her for a ride in the car. At this point I knew for sure she was interested, but since I wasn't single, I just laughed it off.

    Shortly after that, the pizza at this place started going downhill, so I started going somewhere else.

    About 2 years later, me and the gf broke up, so I decided to show up at the pizza place and finally pursue this one. It seemed she was related to the owner, so I thought she might still be there. I got there and the place was out of business.

    SFO

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    Diamond chinamaniac's Avatar
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    When I was in 5th grade me and one of my buddies ordered a couple of pizzas from dominos and we paid the guy with a green trashbag full of pennies and he accepted it and left. I still have no idea how much was in the trashbag
    follow me on twitter @chinamaniac
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  11. #11
    All Sorts of Sports gut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Druff View Post
    Used to pick up pizza once a week in the 90s at a mom and pop pizza place in Hermosa Beach.

    There was this really hot chick who looked around 21 who worked there. I was like 25 at the time. She kinda had the hot beach chick look to her.

    She kept making comments to me about how I "had a nice car", even though it was just a BMW 3 series which was 2 years old.

    It seemed like she was flirting with me, but I lived with a girlfriend at the time, so obviously I wasn't pursuing this.

    This persisted for like 6 consecutive weeks, maybe more.

    Since I wasn't giving her much response, she kicked it up a notch and started telling me that I needed to take her for a ride in the car. At this point I knew for sure she was interested, but since I wasn't single, I just laughed it off.

    Shortly after that, the pizza at this place started going downhill, so I started going somewhere else.

    About 2 years later, me and the gf broke up, so I decided to show up at the pizza place and finally pursue this one. It seemed she was related to the owner, so I thought she might still be there. I got there and the place was out of business.

    SFO
    Humblebrag of the month candidate.














    BMW operated at a loss obv

  12. #12
    Serial Blogger BeerAndPoker's Avatar
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    Funny movie from the late 80s.



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  13. #13
    Diamond big dick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    Not really to make anything with your original post. But like 15 years ago I ordered a Dominos Pizza and got through half of it and bit into something crazy hard. It was a penny. I called up and the Manager apologized profusely and gave me a new pizza with a $50 gift card. I was like yeah sure, I guess I could have got a lawyer but I was not harmed.

    Another true story, I had my first sexual experience while as a driver at the age of 17 at a Dominos. She was 17 as well but quit high school and had her own apartment with her sister. She was a Manager in Training, her sister was Assistant Manager. I was terrified she had herpes, but I kept going back for more. They later all moved to Europe and became owner/operators for like 20 Dominos franchises.
    1st piece of ass you get and it's from white trash
    Loser

     
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  14. #14
    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    I worked at Donimos from age 17 to 20 as a driver, full time in the summers, part time the other months. I cannot think of a better job for a teenager to have, or a more dangerous job. It was great in that you could make $50-$100 in tax free tips, dangerous because this was before GPS and you had to rely on actual maps, which meant you were reading a map while driving. I nearly got killed like a five times, one time I almost careened into a lake going like 40 while reading a map with a flashlight.

    In the Dominos I worked in it was part of a franchise owned by a single owner named Benji. He was a 5' tall, and VERY gay. He owned like 15 Dominos in the region but turned over the day to day operations to his two brothers, who were the worst two fuckers you ever met. Just miserable little tyrants who popped in the stores like once a week and just made everyone miserable.

    So for the first time in months Benji decides to visit all the stores over a week period and one of the brothers came in a few days prior basically threatening the manager of the store in front of the staff that the store had better be crystal clean otherwise he would be finding another job. The brother named Marcus came up to me and asked where my name tag was, I told him it was on the car and my shift had not started yet. He began berating me and being 18 I just sat there and took it, I believe he was intimidated by my size and I was literally nearly a foot taller.

    So anyway, a few days go by and it's 3pm and the store is spotless, it was usually a fucking pigsty but the manager apparently was there until 2am cleaning it. Anyway, the owner and brothers come driving up in a Mercedes and Benji comes walking in, he was actually a very nice guy compared to his brothers. So they are huddled in the back with the manager while we are fake cleaning. Anyway, the door of the Mercedes opens up and this guy appears who is like 6' 5" tall and maybe weighs 190 lbs. He looks gaunt and pale and opens the door and ask where is Benji. It's Benji's male lover, who obviously is either positive or transitioning to full blown AIDS. It was creepy.

    So anyway a call comes in for a large pizza. The way we worked is the Managers or Assistants made the pizzas, unless it was slow, then one of the experienced drivers would make it. It's not that we wanted to make it, it's the managers would either be taking smoke breaks or on the phone in the back so we would just do it. So I start making the pizza and toss it in the oven, and Benji's lover begins freaking out: He points at me and calls to Benji "He made a pizza after touching money and did not wash his hands!". Apparently I was counting my tip money in my pocket before I made the pizza and he saw it. Everyone comes running from the back like someone was murdered or something, and they are all staring at me while Benji's lover is saying how I did not wash my hands after touching money. Here is a guy with no T cells freaking out because I made a pizza after touching money and put it into a 1000 degree oven which would kill any germ on the planet.

    Marcus, immediately grabs the pizza out of the over and tosses it in the trash and orders the manager to call the customer to let them know the pizza will be late and free. This whole episode was so laughable, the fucking sink was about a 50 feet walk in the back, and I never saw anyone ever go back to wash their hands, not once. Marcus runs up to me and screams "First the Name Tag and Now This?????" He then asks when I am off and I said 4pm, he is like "No you are off now, think about if you want your job back and let us know tomorrow". He fucking sent me home, LOL. As I am walking out Benji begins pleading with Marcus that he was too rough "on the young man" and Marcus dug in and began talking about "Accountability". LOL, I am 18 years old and delivering pizzas and this d-bag is talking about life lessons.

    Anyway, the manager called me the next morning and pleaded for me to return, I was the most reliable driver so I agreed. This was not my last altercation with Marcus, I'll get to that but there are other stories much more shocking.

  15. #15
    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    Another bizarre pizza story. There was this full time driver named Matt. He was in his mid-30s and a really odd cat, but very friendly. I knew I had seen him before and never could put remember. Finally, his wife came in the store and I was like WTF??? She was my age, 19 at the time, and she dropped out of school when she was 16. I will never forget one day walking in from the parking lot to go into high school they were in the car together talking, I was like WTF why is this chick with this dude 15 years older. Turns out she was pregnant, they got married and she already had 2 kids by age 19.

    Anyway, it was my 19th birthday and Matt was like "go over to 7-11 and just get a Big Gulp cup with nothing in it, it will cost you a quarter". So I did it and came back. This was like 4pm on a Tuesday and we were dead. He then motions me into the walk in fridge and stashed behind the cheese is a 12 pack of Busch beer. He breaks two open and pours one in my cup and says "Welcome to the Club". Enjoy the Mountain Dew, then says the first one is free, but any beer after is $2. He also instructs me if I every want to get him to buy beer for me there is a $10 surcharge per case.

    Turns out he had a hustle going on with underage drivers. Yeah, I used him quite a bit for cases of beer on the weekend.

  16. #16
    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    Another fabulous story, I was delivering a pizza and was into the whole Top Gun theme, it was a movie that still had tremendous play even though it at been out a few years. I delivered a pizza and it was like 20 minutes late and the homeowner berated me. I was walking away backwards and put my ray-bans on (they were like $170) and did the Iceman bite. He lost it and slammed the door.

    I got back to the store and the Assistant Manager said the homeowner called up and indicated if I ever showed up again he would "whoop my ass". LOL.


     
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  17. #17
    Enjoying your stories ! Beats the shit out of anything Hongdong has contributed! Keep it up.

     
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  18. #18
    Individual pizza shop owners are greasy fucks who will hire help when they know they can pay them pennies. Only thing worse than a pizza shop owner is a bar owner.

    When I was like 15, one shop paid me $40 bucks to work an entire busy Saturday, from 8am-5pm. Did everything they asked of me. Cleaning, washing, trash, soda, etc. Figured I take a loss if I was able to get a FT job. Never heard from again.

    When I moved to the neighborhood I live in now, I was like 17, this Albanian fuck hired me because this other guy my age quit or something. Was supposed to pay minimum wage and ended up paying me $60 instead of $120 ish cause it was "slow".

    The following week the guys father shows up with the son, trying to get his old job back. I got kicked to the curb. I was happy when I saw the shop close down the following month.
    Last edited by Onestep; 02-12-2018 at 11:00 AM.

  19. #19
    Can't wait for Spartans contribution in like 2-3 days when he comes off his bender

  20. #20
    Silver tgull's Avatar
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    Crew Pies? Anyone that worked in the pizza delivery business knows about crew pies. Basically when a customer called in a carry out and failed to pick it up, it became a crew pie. This was way before on-line ordering, it was in the mid to late 90s and the internet really did not exist for pizza ordering, you still had to call in for orders.

    So this was a long time scam, where friends would call in pizzas and never pick them up and we (drivers) would get a crew pie. Everyone knew the scam and it was the cost of doing business, the manager was even in on it and did not care. Fuck he was even drinking "Mountain Dews" from the walk-in fridge, LOL.

    So one day I walked into the door after a delivery and it was raining. I was pissed off and there is Marcus waiting for me with the Manager. It was like 3pm and he approaches me with crew pie fake orders. Mind you I never in 2 years ever asked a friend to call in a crew pie, but I knew about the scam and did eat them. He then explained the no tolerance policy for employee theft and we got into it. I basically said if there is a free pizza on top of the stove I am getting a slice whether he likes it or not.

    All of a sudden Benji comes running out of the back, like I said he was never involved but for whatever reason was there. He immediately calms the situation down and says they are developing a new crew pie policy (which they did), where employees would be fed pizza on the job at no cost.

    This was not the last altercation I had with Marcus.

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