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Thread: Houston Shit.

  1. #1
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Houston Shit.






     
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      handicapme: how's your big shot going at LATB?
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

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    Ok Krypt.

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    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avon Barksdale View Post
    Ok Krypt.

    Dj Screw isn't even on Krypt's radar bc krypt is a wanna-be
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    but your credit card is sure on your moms radar, isnt it.

     
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      ToasterOven: snap
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Gold DonaldTrumpsHairPiece's Avatar
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    Larry is back?

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    Diamond Tellafriend's Avatar
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    This site really is a cesspool.

     
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      sonatine: got them

  7. #7
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    but your credit card is sure on your moms radar, isnt it.

    move out of your mom's basement and then you can talk fat boy
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  8. #8
    Gold DonaldTrumpsHairPiece's Avatar
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    Yeeeep that's Larry.

  9. #9
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    im literally deleting this post because i dont want druff to deal with a lawsuit when you off yourself

     
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      Wiganer: Dayum
      
      OSA: papi no too much he already muerto please stop papi
      
      The_Lurker: Well i guess thats that
      
      Daly: And republicans rep
      
      Ricky: .....Ouch
      
      Tellafriend: A+
      
      nunbeater: cosign
      
      vegas1369: Damnit I missed it
      
      Suicide King: Yes
      
      gut: rep train
    Last edited by sonatine; 12-29-2017 at 09:00 PM.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  10. #10
    Inaugural Spring Classic Champion HoodedN's Avatar
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    At least sonatine let you get a couple posts in first lare, I would have lead with that

  11. #11
    Gold Suicide King's Avatar
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    It was a 2-5 game, not 5-10.

  12. #12
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suicide King View Post
    It was a 2-5 game, not 5-10.

    IT WAS YOU NOT WATCHING GOMORRA, NOT A 2-5 GAME.

     
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      Suicide King: It’s true
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  13. #13
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    lets just get this out of the way....




    "Oh… oh my!"

    Fluttershy clung onto her bed as Rarity continued thrusting, each push pressing her a bit deeper into her mattress.

    "Ungh, come now F-fluttershy; you're, uh, the one whooo wanted, uh, Big Mac with, ha, dog equipment." Rarity was grunting heavily as she continued to piston in and out of the pegasus. "Stop being so-ho… unenthused!"

    "Oh..no-ho it's nice… re-heally. But, uhm, could you go, a li-hittle faster? If it's… huh not too mu-huch trouble?"

    Rarity grinned. She took her hooves off Fluttershy's shoulders and grabbed the bed for extra leverage. "Well, since you asked so nicely…" She whispered.

    Her thrusts became faster and shorter. Faster and shorter, and faster and faster and…

    "Oh MY!" Fluttershy started moaning louder. "Now pu-hull my mane!"

    "What?"

    "Pull it and, ah, ta-halk dirty to me!"

    Rarity tried to shrug, but didn't want to lose her tenuous grip on the covers, or her balance.

    "Fine, huh-how do you l-like this you demure bitch?" Rarity tugged on Fluttershy's mane with her mouth.

    "H-h-harder! I-I'm.. ha.. ooh."

    Rarity couldn't help but roll her eyes. Man, that ponynet… One of these days she'd have to give all her ex-virgin friends a stern talking to about unrealistic expectations.

    Meanwhile, outside Fluttershy's window, Chrysalis was smacking her head against the wall, the rhythm oddly coinciding with the sounds of lovemaking coming from within.

    I just… I just don't even…

    She stopped pounding her head, worried it might bruise.

    I used all my magic turning her into a changeling, and instead of changing her friends, she goes on a sexual spree… I need to do something or…

    Her thoughts were interrupted by a series of loud moans from inside as Fluttershy finally lost it. After a few more minutes of wet slapping sounds Rarity finished just as noisily. The moans and groans died down and were replaced by heavy, rhythmic breathing.

    Geez, finally, they've only been at it for the last hour… Chrysalis flew down to the ground; she wasn't going to let that inept hedonist derail her carefully constructed plan.

    "Ha-ha-ha… Rarity that was… amazing…" Fluttershy was still slumped on her bed, a noticeable blotch of sweat on her bedsheet, her pink hair splayed out around her face like a very messy halo, or a paintbrush that hadn't been put away that carefully.

    "Anytime dear. And I do mean anytime." Rarity bathed herself in green flames, and was soon back to her normal white and purple appearance. She bit her lower lip, the limp, exhausted Fluttershy still a very tempting target…

    Nono, plenty of time for a repeat performance later, still have most of the town to go through…

    Rarity wiped some of the sweat off her brow, and limped down the stairs to get herself some water.

    "Finally! Took your sweet time!"

    The irate grey Pegasus surprised Rarity, but not for long.

    "And who, exactly, are you?"

    "Oh, right…"

    A ring of green flames flew across the strange pony, until standing in her place was the towering, black form of Queen Chrysalis.

    "Ah, I see, right."

    "You're not surprised?"

    "Well, I woke up as a changeling, I figured you had something to do with it. Thanks by the way!"

    "Hnngggggggg." Chrysalis smacked herself in the face with her hoof. "Look you marshmallow-colored nympho, I didn't turn you into a changeling so you could fornicate with the entire town-!"

    "Oh, it's been more than fornicating so far! Trust me." Rarity licked her lips as she remembered her recent meals.

    "Shut up! I turned you into a changeling so you could transform your friends! And instead you…"

    "I can assure you that have been transformed by their experiences. I'm beginning to suspect my entire circle of friends are virgins…"

    "I don't understand. I'm supposed to have a mental link with all my minions. I meant to leave you some individuality but…"

    "If you wanted to take over the town, you hardly needed me dearie, I mean, there's nothing like some… mmm kinky sex with somepony to make them do whatever you want." She made a few small pelvic motions as she explained it.

    "Changelings do not reproduce that way!"

    "Hasn't stopped me so far!"

    Chrysalis took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "You are giving me a headache…"

    "Wait a moment… are you telling me you've never had sex?"

    "Of course not, the changeling reproductive cycle does not need such a messy…"

    "Ohohoho, I should've known as soon as you used the word 'fornicate' unironically! No wonder you're so highly strung!" Rarity began to giggle quietly.

    Chrysalis began to blush despite herself. "I do not require such…"

    "And you even had all that time alone with Shining Armor…"

    "Be quiet! I spent all my energy transforming you, and you're going to help me with my plan whether you like it or not!" Chrysalis fired a bolt of green energy at Rarity, but Rarity deflected it easily with a burst of her own magic.

    Chrysalis' face fell.

    Uh oh.

    "Queenie, I'm going to do you a favor. I was going to stop by Rainbow Dash's house next, but clearly you need it more…"

    Chrysalis turned to run, but she suddenly felt a heavy pressure on her neck and fell to the floor.

    "What the…" She saw a glowing band of blue energy circling her neck, and similar ones quickly formed around her hooves.

    "Release me this instant!"

    "Oh don't you worry, we'll get some release soon enough… You really should be thanking me, I'm being quite generous."

    Chrysalis felt herself being lifted off the ground, being carried, and soon found herself splayed across Fluttershy's couch.

    "I may have underestimated how much energy you siphoned from your friends, but I am still the Queen of the Changelings, and I will not be treated this way by my subordinates!" She struggled at her magical restraints, but nothing happened.

    "You know you won't enjoy it unless you relax. Just lie back, don't fight it. I promise I'll be gentle. Unless you request otherwise of course…"

    Chrysalis' ego started to falter… As a changeling she was incapable of understanding a lot of pony-specific social situations, but from what she had heard rape was a rather unpleasant experience…

    "Let… me…go…!" The manacles remained motionless.

    "I know you're not big on love, but I'm sure you know about aesthetics… What would you prefer I look like?" A burst of green light and Celestia was standing in Rarity's place.

    Chrysalis responded with a loud, snake-like hiss.

    "Right, guess you wouldn't like Celestia… I suppose the same would go for Shining Armor and Cadence… How about Luna? No, better, Nightmare Moon!"

    Rarity changed disguises, and playfully tossed her sparkly blue mane, but Chrysalis remained silent, still trying to squirm out of her binds.

    "Nothing eh? Ooh, I know, how about we ease into things with some communal clopping?"

    Rarity, still disguised as Nightmare Moon, summoned a pillow with her telekinesis, and sat down, slowly rubbing herself as she tried to think of something adequately sexy.

    "Mmmm, come on now Queenie, don't tell me you've never clopped off either?"

    Chrysalis blushed, still annoyed by Rarity's condescending attitude. "I told you changelings don't…"

    "Yes, yes, but you can still feel, oooh, physical pleasure I'm sure. You transforming me certainly hasn't hampered my libido…"

    "So I noticed…" She tried to be insulting, but Rarity was clearly not paying much attention to her, instead thinking of all the things she had done, and was going to do, to her friends. Rarity began to move her hoof faster, and Chrysalis couldn't help but watch, her anger slowly being supplanted by curiosity…

    Rarity noticed the Queen's piqued interest, and moved one of the magic handcuffs down to the Queen's groin, her hoof reluctantly dragged along.

    "Hng, stop that!"

    "Just try it, you'll enjoy yourself I promise. Might be a little more comfortable if you change your appearance though, that sofa is a tad small."

    As Rarity forced Chrysalis to start rubbing herself, she reluctantly complied. Her body shrunk, green fire shrouding her appearance, the restraints shrinking to fit her new body.

    As the flames faded, Princess Cadence stood in Chrysalis' place, her hoof beginning to slowly pick up speed against her will, and not entirely because of telekinesis either.

    Rarity sensed the changeling's building desire, and let the glowing shackle gradually fade, the other four relaxing but not vanishing.

    The two of them sat there, furiously building momentum, and as Rarity let out a massive moan of pleasure she saw the pink "princess" breathing heavily.

    Rarity tore her hooves away from her nethers and stood up. Too lazy to change her disguise she settled for changing her equipage and sauntered over to the still masturbating mare.

    Chrysalis had become just engrossed enough with her own body that she didn't notice the towering black pony approaching her until it was too late to complain. When she opened her eyes she was greeted with the sight of a frankly huge, erect member just inches away from her face.

    "Ugh, blegh, that smells horrible!"

    "Where do you want it?"

    "Uh, what?"

    "*Sigh*… Right, I forgot you can't be vague with virgins." Rarity grinned mischievously, leaning in close to Chrysalis' face. "Which of your holes should I put it in?"

    "I thought there was only the one option…"

    Rarity rolled her eyes in as big a circle as they could possibly go. "You ageless forces of Equestria are so naïve. I hope Celestia and Luna aren't this bad when I do them… Fine, we'll keep it missionary for the delicate virgin…"

    "I'm not-!" But her protest was interrupted by Rarity plunging into her. Forcefully. Repeatedly.

    A few feet away, Fluttershy was drinking some water and enjoying the show. She had recovered a little while ago, but watching Nightmare Moon and Cadence go at it was making her tired just watching… The cushions were already coming loose. She wasn't really into mares, she had insisted that to Rarity earlier, but damn this was graphic. Her hoof started to drift slowly south without her even realizing it. She didn't clop too often, another thing she had insisted to Rarity, but well, they were giving her plenty of reason to now.

    Chrysalis meanwhile, had lost track of what was going on. Rarity was doing all the work, she was just lost in a ludicrous pleasurable blur. She was oblivious to the passage of time, to Fluttershy watching them both, to the animals she knew were hiding in the various nooks and crannies, and honestly to most of Rarity's body.

    And then, after what could have been 5 minutes or 5 days, suddenly she felt Rarity… withdraw, and it was like waking from the world's best dream. She was suddenly aware of her own body, still disguised as Cadence, breathing heavily, sweat everywhere…

    "So, how was it Queenie?"

    "Hu-hu-hu-hu, wow…" Those were the only words that made it out through all the panting.

    "That's what I thought!" Rarity was rather fatigued herself, but she finally bothered to shift her disguise back to usual self. "Fluttershy, are you still back there?"

    "One… moment… almost…" Fluttershy gasped, and slowly rose from behind her kitchen island. "Hu-hu-hu, yes?"

    "Could you grab Queenie and I a glass of water? And then take her up to your room? I noticed that box of sex toys in your closet…"

    "Oh, uh, w-what sex toys…"

    "Fluttershy, I think we're past modesty at this point dear. Just take her up there and keep an eye on her; I'm certain they'll keep her busy enough that she won't cause any trouble…"

    "Oh, uhm, are you sure that's a good idea? She did kind of try and take over Canterlot and all…"

    Rarity grabbed the water from Fluttershy and walked over to Chrysalis.

    "Drink this. Now Queenie, my friend Fluttershy is going to keep an eye on you while I go out. If you behave yourself while I'm gone, none of these domination plots or draining ponies, I'll be sure to make some personal time for you later…"

    Chrysalis nodded weakly.

    "Marvelous." Rarity chugged her glass of water and then flung it over her shoulder. "Alright Fluttershy I'm off, maybe I'll stop by the mayor's office before I visit Rainbow and… convince her that Chrysalis isn't a threat…"

    Rarity walked out the door. Chrysalis, who still hadn't bothered to drop her disguise, turned to Fluttershy.

    "So, uhm, about those sex toys?"

     
    Comments
      
      FPS_Russia: Sorry, jSearles, that red was for this nonsense.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  14. #14
    Welcher jsearles22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post


    move out of your mom's basement and then you can talk fat boy

    are you the only person on this site who doesnt know i own a house in upstate new york?

    i ask because you seem to stick your dick in that beehive constantly without ever addressing:

    - fled the forum in disgrace when your crush on kilgore went public

    - fled the forum in disgrace when your crush on drexel went public

    - literally cried physical tears because no one would give you money to play on a $5/10 nl live at the bike episode

    basically you're the biggest trainwreck in the history of this community, and that community includes failed suicides, crack heads, lotto ticket scammers, and republicans.

    so i guess what im saying is, if you want to lay into me for being fat, i mean, cool i guess, but none of that makes you less of an emotional cripple with absolutely no future whatsoever, who is so profoundly broken that your own mother had to step in and ground you from the credit card you doubtless needed her to cosign for.
    Jesus Christ Dr Kevorkian, are you trying to help him kill himself?

     
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      FPS_Russia: Jealous of Laffer rep
    It's hilarious that we as a society think everyone can be a dr, a lawyer, an engineer. Some people are just fucking stupid. Why can't we just accept that?

  15. #15
    How Could You? WillieMcFML's Avatar
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    noobnoob.gif

    sonatine didn’t even try the ol’ rope a dope - just went straight for the fatality, and GOT HEEM

  16. #16
    Gold DonaldTrumpsHairPiece's Avatar
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    Comments

    FPS_Russia: Jealous of Laffer rep

  17. #17
    Gold handicapme's Avatar
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    we just witnessed a murder.

    "I GOT NO TOE"

    #FreeFluffler #FreeThisGuyIsCreepy #lockupGarrett

  18. #18
    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    Jesus Christ Dr Kevorkian, are you trying to help him kill himself?

    go ahead and delete the quote unless you want to fly to chicago to testify when larry offs himself.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  19. #19
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    Larry Laffer =

  20. #20
    Speedster Out of Clemson adamantium's Avatar
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    LOVE THE HAIR!
    Slava Ukraini!

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