Heard on this week's radio show that Marty has been celibate for seven years. Perhaps it's time for the PFA community to pull together to find him somebody to love. You know, instead of the bottle when he's off the ship.

Toward that goal, I've come across a video of a possible candidate. Her qualifications:

• Seems to be in decent shape to be able sprint when running from cops
• Knows how to handle a firearm
• Doesn't like cops
• Seems to have a nice rack
• Likely to stay put until Marty gets off the boat

Watch her audition tape here: