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Thread: LoL there goes my roommate. I just 86'd him, and am changing the locks

  1. #1
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    LoL there goes my roommate. I just 86'd him, and am changing the locks

    Yeah. I have 2 roommates (it's chicago, we can't help it).

    One is very responsible. Has 2 jobs. He takes care of Layla my dog while I'm away. I even compensate him for it, as if he's a dog sitter.

    The other? Well, he's been off the rails since our friend died last year in the bus crash (the year anni was in june) and has been just drinking himself into oblivion. Now, usually, I just let people do what they wanna do as long as they aren't shooting junk or smoking meth and pay their rent on time.

    And he pays his rent on time. But the drinking has been heavy lately. This kid has lived here a year and I've never seen him drink anything but water, coffee, and old style.

    So, I was just in minneapolis at Canterbury. I'm there last night and at 11 pm I get a phone call from my upstairs neighbor.

    "Hello?"
    "Hey do you know your dog is up here? she's been crying for a long time and she's peed everywhere. she's really scared."

    "what? are you fucking kidding me? Can you go see if my doors are locked?"

    I thought the place got robbed. but on a sunday? the lords day? no way. So she calls me back to tell me all the doors are locked, and that she knocked and no one is there.

    Huh? So how did my dog get out? It wasn't long before I realized.

    We live on the first floor. My roommates smoke cigarettes outside on the steps, and when this bozo came in, he either was blacked out or close to it (my neighbor mentioned she saw him a few hours before and he didn't look good) and somehow didn't see my dog run out into the building. Thankfully, he had the front door closed.

    So, now she's calling me back demanding I send someone. I tell her that i'm 400 miles away, and that i'm trying to find my other roommate so he can get there. Of course, he's working (he's a bouncer at a 4 am bar).

    So we send someone else over, and they get here, and I tell them that there's a window open in the front and to go in and see what's up. For all I know, this kid is dead.

    Dead? I wished (before i realized that if he was dead in my apartment it'd be hard to find another roommate ) He's alive. passed out. drunk. Some how locked my dog out of my apartment for 4 hours.


    So, I drive all night bak from minneapolis and I just walked in, and he's already packing his shit. So I start fucking railing into him. I'm using every fucking bit of my energy not to knock this clown out.

    He's not on any lease, and has no deposit. I can tell him to fuck off anytime I want. and I just did.

    Now this motherfucker has 48 hours to show me he's checking into a rehab, or attended an AA meeting, or I change the locks. If he does that and shows me, within 48 hours, he can have the full 10 days. I'm leaving for vegas and I don't want him in my house anymore.


    PFA:

    Am I being too harsh by giving this kid 10 days (with a 48 hour contingency.)

    this is my dog we're talking about here. she could've been lost or hurt if she got out of the building.

     
    Comments
      
      HoodedN: ya i have a question, whats your dog's favorite kinda porn to do
      
      Sandwich: Canterbury rep
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  2. #2
    I hope it's the elf that made Sandies and not the one that makes Fudge Stripes. Don't kick the Fudge Stripe elf out of the tree, please.

     
    Comments
      
      jsearles22: Legit lols
      
      LarryLaffer: damn. I just got roasted. and it was so good, im leaving a green. well done Toaster
      
      big dick: top 3 and probably top 1 or 2
      
      HoodedN: throw the heat big boy
      
      Onestep: I imagine them swinging from the tree making chocolate etc haha
      
      BlunderMaker: HOF
      
      nunbeater: hoof

  3. #3
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToasterOven View Post
    I hope it's the elf that made Sandies and not the one that makes Fudge Stripes. Don't kick the Fudge Stripe elf out of the tree, please.

    Fudge Stripes are safe dude.

    There's no way i'm ever letting that dude take a walk.

     
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      ToasterOven: :yes
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  4. #4
    You're going back to Vegas?

  5. #5
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simpdog View Post
    You're going back to Vegas?

    correct.

    $138 round trip.

    Laffer/Drexel/Leapin' round 2.

    The last time I was there I didn't grind enough cash games, and that 9/18 at bellagio is worth the plane ticket alone.
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

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    Do they have tiny locksmiths in Chicago?


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  7. #7
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    they do.


    was that google maps?

    looks like my first apartment
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by simpdog View Post
    You're going back to Vegas?

    correct.

    $138 round trip.

    Laffer/Drexel/Leapin' round 2.

    The last time I was there I didn't grind enough cash games, and that 9/18 at bellagio is worth the plane ticket alone.
    Why do they spread 9/18 instead of just playing 10/20? Seems odd

    And who the fuck is leapin Larry? I thought you were talking in third person this whole time
    It's hilarious that we as a society think everyone can be a dr, a lawyer, an engineer. Some people are just fucking stupid. Why can't we just accept that?

  9. #9
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post


    correct.

    $138 round trip.

    Laffer/Drexel/Leapin' round 2.

    The last time I was there I didn't grind enough cash games, and that 9/18 at bellagio is worth the plane ticket alone.
    Why do they spread 9/18 instead of just playing 10/20? Seems odd

    And who the fuck is leapin Larry? I thought you were talking in third person this whole time
    listen to the radio last week to meet Leapin' Larry. or read my TR thread.


    I think they spread it bc it's fun to use $3 chips.

    I actually have no idea. and wish it was a 10/20
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by simpdog View Post
    You're going back to Vegas?

    correct.

    $138 round trip.

    Laffer/Drexel/Leapin' round 2.

    The last time I was there I didn't grind enough cash games, and that 9/18 at bellagio is worth the plane ticket alone.
    Watch out. You now have the Vegas bug. Dont let Vegas destroy you as it does so many that move there to be "professionals"

    Very few can do this. Drexel is a rare breed.

     
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      LarryLaffer: rare breed in deed

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post

    Why do they spread 9/18 instead of just playing 10/20? Seems odd

    And who the fuck is leapin Larry? I thought you were talking in third person this whole time
    listen to the radio last week to meet Leapin' Larry. or read my TR thread.


    I think they spread it bc it's fun to use $3 chips.

    I actually have no idea. and wish it was a 10/20
    it has something to do with increasing the rake. i forget the math.
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

  12. #12
    Golf Professional Tegnation22's Avatar
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    No offense Larry but would you be capable of knockout power?

    How big is the alcoholic?
    "I hit that shot because it was a defining moment and when a defining moment comes along, you either define the moment or the moment defines you" Roy "Tin Cup" Mcevoy

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  13. #13
    Gold gauchojake's Avatar
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    I love it when Larry talks tough.

  14. #14
    Nova Scotia's #1 Party Rocker!!!!11 DJ_Chaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tegnation22 View Post
    No offense Larry but would you be capable of knockout power?

    How big is the alcoholic?
    '

    I think he could do it. Might need a boost but as a dj, lARRY OUTTA BE SHARP WITH HIS HANDS AND HAVE NO ISSUE FINDING TEMPLE. oops caps lock slippage.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chaps' 2017-18 NFL $$ Thread

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by gauchojake View Post
    I love it when Larry talks tough.
    Top, top was him challenging Tyde to a fight in Shytown. That ouwld be a better fight than Mayweather v McGregor.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by gauchojake View Post
    I love it when Larry talks tough.
    I'm getting young C.arrico vibes, and I'm loving it too

  17. #17
    Diamond Hockey Guy's Avatar
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    All I got to say is, good thing it wasn't snowing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hockey Guy
    I'd say good luck in the freeroll but I'm pretty sure you'll go on a bender to self-sabotage yourself & miss it completely or use it as the excuse of why you didn't cash.

  18. #18
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tegnation22 View Post
    No offense Larry but would you be capable of knockout power?

    How big is the alcoholic?

    no offense taken.

    Yes I am. espeically after 7 hours in my car stewing over the fact that this clown is still in my apartment.

    Had I been local when this happened, or even an hour or so away, this kid would've been on the curb before sun rise.


    he's taller than me but he's skinny and doesn't know how to fight.

    and this is my dog we're talking about so naturally i'd be knocking this fool out if something really terrible happened.

     
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      Tegnation22:
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  19. #19
    King of Lost Wages LarryLaffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sonatine View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post

    listen to the radio last week to meet Leapin' Larry. or read my TR thread.


    I think they spread it bc it's fun to use $3 chips.

    I actually have no idea. and wish it was a 10/20
    it has something to do with increasing the rake. i forget the math.

    increasing the rake to more than the 10% max $5? Because that's what it was.

    whens the last time you saw sunlight, or a brick and mortar poker room.

    it has to do with chip structures. 9/18 is a 3/6 betting structure with $3 chips. 10/20 would have to either be a $2 chip game, at a 5/10 chip structure. that'd take too fucking long (if you used red chips you'd have a 2/4 chip structure)
    "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

    George Steinbrenner

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by LarryLaffer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tegnation22 View Post
    No offense Larry but would you be capable of knockout power?

    How big is the alcoholic?

    no offense taken.

    Yes I am. espeically after 7 hours in my car stewing over the fact that this clown is still in my apartment.

    Had I been local when this happened, or even an hour or so away, this kid would've been on the curb before sun rise.


    he's taller than me but he's skinny and doesn't know how to fight.

    and this is my dog we're talking about so naturally i'd be knocking this fool out if something really terrible happened.
    It's all about exit velocity. They track that shit now.

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