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Thread: I am going to post my favorite Jewdonk/Tyde posts of all time

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    I am going to post my favorite Jewdonk/Tyde posts of all time

    I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

    I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

    So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

     
    Comments
      
      Ricky: Ill give this ballsniffer a green for effort. But this prob wont go well.
      
      Henry: nice try, garrett.
      
      Muck Ficon: Cool story bro!!!
      
      Mintjewlips: Sick brag, oh i lost 100k, no im not the loser tyde is because he's making money blah blah blah

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    So back in the day, I want to say 2007 or so. Jewdonk(now Tyde) actually had a roommate, a black guy (I'll call Germain) if you can believe it. So the backstory is Tyde and Germain were having issues, supposedly because of the fact that Germain left dirty dishes in the sink. Ok, I HIGHLY DOUBT Germain and Tyde were having issues over dirty dishes. First, Tyde smokes, so you know that probably pissed off Germain to no ends with the endless smoke in the apartment. Also, Tyde is an alcoholic so I am sure Tyde was drinking and watching TV until 4am.

    So anyway, Tyde one night thinks its a good idea to pick up a Craig's List Hooker. Who knows what he did to her, but like 3am he and the hooker decide to eat some food in the kitchen. Now like any 2 bedroom apartment each bedroom backs up to the kitchen and we all know Tyde has an inability to keep his voice down (we'll get into that later).

    So Germain runs out and screams at Tyde because he simply had enough of the noise. Keep in mind Jewdonk was unemployed at the time living off his LA Times 401K at the time, and Germain had to be up at 5:30. So a shouting match ensued, the hooker left and that was the end of the story. OR WAS IT?

    No, it was not, Jewdonk decided to get back at Germain for humiliating him in front of a hooker. When Germain went to work, Tyde thought it would be sweet revenge to spike his water jug. Apparently Germain had one of those Orzaka jugs in his bedroom, so Jewdonk pissed in it. Yes folks, he was 40+ at the time and he pissed in Germain's water jug.

    He immediately posted this story online after he saw Germain taking a swig. And we wonder why WILLIE did not eat his food on the ship.

    LOL Tyde

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    The FART 2007 or 2008

    Ok, so this story is uneventful, but Tony G actually responded to the 2008 post and said he laughed. Keep in mind this is when NWP was sold to some poker firm and I guess Tony G was involved so he made a few posts NWP.

    But, this was a funny story. Jewdonk(Tyde) I guess had a female acquaintance and they were in line for some type of event. It might have been a movie, amusement park ride, not sure its been too long to remember. Anyway this was the crux of the story, apparently Jewdonk was out late in the evening the night before eating Mexican food and tequila. While in line, he had a huge surge and according to Jewdonk unleashed a very long but silent fart.

    Jewdonk being Jewdonk immediately realized the smog and began dismissing it as someone else. Apparently everyone in the line began saying "Jesus, what the fuck is that smell". Apparently Jewdonk was telling his Japanese female how inappropriate someone would unleash that in line while giggling to himself.

    The only real reason this is noteworthy was because Tony G laughed about it in a post.

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    Diamond Pro Zap_the_Fractions_Giraffe's Avatar
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    it would be better if you actually dug up the Jewdonk posts instead of being like, "lol one time Jewdonk posted a story about smoking pot out of a red bull can"

     
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      Mintjewlips: So true
      
      PuppyMonkeyBaby:
      
      ThreeBet: LOL
      
      nunbeater: this guy gets it

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    The only thing that could save this thread is for wiz to recreate said posts in picture form.

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    Here is a random douche bag I tripped over in my research:


     
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      thesidedish: CHAPS IS GOD
      
      PuppyMonkeyBaby: Dont fuck with Chaps.. He will spin you story youll never come back from

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    I am going to lay wood on probably 3 or 4 other posts. I need a nap though. Having cancer in my knee cap sucks, it really ruins you since you cannot move . and you sleep a lot

    But I must have missed this but found it in my research:


     
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      PuppyMonkeyBaby: Kneecap Cancer?? Really couldnt you come up with something better fucker?? IS this some cheap shot at Scott on the East Coast??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    So back in the day, I want to say 2007 or so. Jewdonk(now Tyde) actually had a roommate, a black guy (I'll call Germain) if you can believe it. So the backstory is Tyde and Germain were having issues, supposedly because of the fact that Germain left dirty dishes in the sink. Ok, I HIGHLY DOUBT Germain and Tyde were having issues over dirty dishes. First, Tyde smokes, so you know that probably pissed off Germain to no ends with the endless smoke in the apartment. Also, Tyde is an alcoholic so I am sure Tyde was drinking and watching TV until 4am.

    So anyway, Tyde one night thinks its a good idea to pick up a Craig's List Hooker. Who knows what he did to her, but like 3am he and the hooker decide to eat some food in the kitchen. Now like any 2 bedroom apartment each bedroom backs up to the kitchen and we all know Tyde has an inability to keep his voice down (we'll get into that later).

    So Germain runs out and screams at Tyde because he simply had enough of the noise. Keep in mind Jewdonk was unemployed at the time living off his LA Times 401K at the time, and Germain had to be up at 5:30. So a shouting match ensued, the hooker left and that was the end of the story. OR WAS IT?

    No, it was not, Jewdonk decided to get back at Germain for humiliating him in front of a hooker. When Germain went to work, Tyde thought it would be sweet revenge to spike his water jug. Apparently Germain had one of those Orzaka jugs in his bedroom, so Jewdonk pissed in it. Yes folks, he was 40+ at the time and he pissed in Germain's water jug.

    He immediately posted this story online after he saw Germain taking a swig. And we wonder why WILLIE did not eat his food on the ship.

    LOL Tyde
    Yeah the black guy was DEFINITELY pissed off about all the weed smoke.





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    Nova Scotia's #1 Party Rocker!!!!11 DJ_Chaps's Avatar
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    This whole 'Ive lurked since day 1 but just showing up now' gimmick is played the fucc out.


     
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      PuppyMonkeyBaby: +1 to Chappy
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chaps' 2017-18 NFL $$ Thread

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    Welcher jsearles22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

    I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

    So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

    Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

    Hi bottomset

     
    Comments
      
      Sheesfaced: This read is on point
      
      JACKDANIELS: got him
    It's hilarious that we as a society think everyone can be a dr, a lawyer, an engineer. Some people are just fucking stupid. Why can't we just accept that?

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    Diamond hongkonger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

    I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

    So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

    Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

    Hi bottomset
    Good call
    HILLARY WON

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    Plutonium sonatine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    living off his LA Times 401K at the time

    only someone who has never actually had a 401k could type that without a hint of sarcasm / irony.

     
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      Mintjewlips: LOL
      
      Tellafriend: astute
    "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." - Alejandro Jodorowsky

    "America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wipe the dream out of existence. The dream is a spontaneous happening and therefore dangerous to a control system set up by the non-dreamers." -- William S. Burroughs

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    Platinum Muck Ficon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

    I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

    So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

    Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

    Hi bottomset

     
    Comments
      
      herbertstemple: Kissing jsearles ass is the lowest of the low.
      
      Gizmo: stupid post considering the source
      
      Dids: try harder you are not smart
      
      Henry: could be
      
      SetofKs: .
    Quote Originally Posted by Baron Von Strucker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kmksmkn View Post
    Does anybody know if u can get a work visa for playing online poker in the UK
    I have had Issues with credit cards in Europe
    Quote Originally Posted by Tyde View Post
    you're more consumed with accumulating wealth than achieving spiritual enlightenment
    Quote Originally Posted by tgull View Post
    Getting a little surf and turf tonight. In my world that is Sea Bass with a nice lobster tail on the side. And grilled asparagus. It's nice having money.

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    I have never posted on this forum or any poker forum before, so you can tag me all you want. I am just a lurker that goes back to NWP days.

    So back to the thread after my nap.

    Is anyone ever curious about Tyde calling Druff out for "2 for 1" pizza coupons? LOL. He used to use that as a burn all the time, it was actually funny. Well here is what happened and why meetings of forum posters with Jewdonk go horribly wrong.

    Jewdonk moved out to Las Vegas to become a poker pro (LOL) and also decided to introduce himself and presumably make friends with fellow NWP posters out there. Big Mistake! Anyhow, Druff invites a bunch of forum members over to his infamous and unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment. Well Jewdonk arrives totally hammered and is "introducing" himself to forum members in the most obnoxious way possible



    So anyway, Druff decides to be a good host and order pizza from his guests, and according to Jewdonk Druff began feverishly began clipping pizza coupons out of the phone book and Sunday paper.

    Anyway, Jewdonk began getting really loaded to the point he was basically shouting. Druff's upstairs neighbor came down furious and told Druff she was going to call the cops. Druff eventually told Jewdonk he had to leave and their friendship immediately ceased after that night. For like two years Jewdonk referenced the unfurnished 2 bedroom apartment and the pizza coupon clipping.

     
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      FPS_Russia: Stas

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    So does anyone remember Felon? Felon was a real scumbag who had a run for a couple years right up until he got pinched for stealing
    lottery tickets and selling them to Mexicans outside a Hope Depot. Folks, I am not making this up these are the upstanding citizens we have posting here.

    So anyway, Tyde thinks its a good idea to meet up with Felon at a shithole casino in Sac-town called the Limelight. Big Mistake! So they play poker and basically Tyde alienates everyone at the table. So he and Felon go out to Tyde's ballin ass Volvo which he eventually had to sell to cover his poker losses. So guess what they do in the car? Yep, they decide to snort some low grade coke. But here is where the story gets epic. Rather than whip out a rolled hundo or even as $20 to snort the coke, Tyde produces his own invention.

    The Coke is lined on the Volvo dashboard and Jewdonk whips out his ghetto Coke snorting concoction. Yes, you guessed it. It's a McDonalds straw cut into a 1/3rd with scissors. So when Jewdonk was going through a drive though, it blossomed on him this would make a good coke sniffer. LOL. I mean can you imagine being at a party inviting Jewdonk as a friend, and there is some coke there and everyone has their rolled up hundos and Jewdonk whips out his McDonalds straw?

    LOL. A very famous story that went on for like a month.

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    Diamond Mintjewlips's Avatar
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    I hope that cancer in your kneecaps spreads to your asshole.

     
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      PuppyMonkeyBaby: too late its already obviously spread to his walnut sized brain along with his vienna finger sausage fingers
      
      FPS_Russia: Shut it
    "Druff would suck his own dick if it were long enough"- Brandon "drexel" Gerson

    "ann coulter literally has more common sense than pfa."-Sonatine

    "Real grinders supports poker fraud"- Ray Davis


    "DRILLED HER GOOD"- HONGKONGER

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    Gold gauchojake's Avatar
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    HOF

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    The Galga Video Machine

    Ok, so this one is a real charm. Jewdonk was in Las Vegas and his life was really collapsing. The whole poker thing was a disaster, his website crumbled and he was basically totally broke. To make life worse, Cleatus who is a miserable human being was trying to cash in on a bounty of finding Jewdonk and turning him in to the police for an expired license or something like that. So stress levels are off the chart. He is basically renting an upstairs bedroom at the time from a stranger who eventually booted him.

    So Jewdonk is near rock bottom and goes into a Chinese restaurant, not a normal restaurant but like something at a strip center in Vegas next to a Cash Advance and Pawn shop place. A seedy take out place with blinking lights.

    While waiting for his food he puts a quarter into a Galga machine, probably the first quarter its seen in years. Due to slot corrosion the quarter jams and and Jewdonk freaks out. He demands his quarter back and reluctantly after much "negotiation" the cashier hands him a coin. He is basically shouting down the staff preparing his food for a quarter! You can't make this up.

    What makes this story LOL is Jewdonk immediately raced to the forum to post this encounter as a "WIN". OH MY! Yep Jewdonk you got your quarter back. YOU WON!

     
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      hongkonger: Bottomfag

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    Diamond Tellafriend's Avatar
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    I'm digging the stories. Wasn't around back then. My loss. But keep em' coming.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jsearles22 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Stanley View Post
    I am a lurker, never posted on any poker forum. I did post back like 8 years ago on wizardofodds for blackjack strategy which did not work I lost thousands. Like $100,000.

    I like Jewdonk, many of you know him as Tyde and other fake names I suppose. I guess he is a big shot now making like $20,000 a month now microwaving meals for men, and other things I guess.

    So I am going to list his most memorable posts, flame wars, etc... They are in no particular order, but a random recollection of thoughts. So lets begin, feel free to add to my beautiful list.

    Bragging about losing huge money. Obsessed with Marty.

    Hi bottomset
    Perth Rebirth?

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